Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Naturally Smart

What do you call a naturally born smart person?

A gene-ious

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jslee_beats0608
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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A cat that is naturally good at navigating kitchen surfaces is counter intuitive.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bargeral
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...

No, pigs do that!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball_hawk15
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.

I think that's bananas!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EverydayMeeple
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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One of my feminist friends managed to get herself a new job recently, and literally the first thing her boss asked her to do was to make him a sandwich! Naturally my friend took a stand and quit on the spot, she's even talking about boycotting the entire company.

Stupid Subway

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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I was naturally excited to have stumbled upon this sub, the goldmine of dadjokes. Couldn’t wait to use one of it...so one day while I was browsing, my son asked what was I reading? I took a deep breath of absolute euphoria and satisfaction, grinned widely and said, β€œThey r/dadjokes.”

The son said, β€œWhat’s slash dad jokes?” Kids, right!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Scientists have discovered a giant naturally occuring windmill

They say it's Mother nature's biggest fan.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJ_Productions
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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What nationality do frogs naturally have?

I don't really know, but I think they are a tad polish.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2018
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I saw an ad that said "By investing just $15, you can sit and eat for your lifetime!" Naturally, I was interested and went there.

They were selling chairs.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/niranjan23d
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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It comes so naturally

Wife is 8 and a half months pregnant, we were laying in bed last night.

Her: Babe, can you get me a glass of water?

Me: But... it's all the way in there(Jokingly of course)

Her: Please, I'm pregnant

Me:... Well hello there pregnant, I'm Mick.

Her:(Slight giggle) Seriously though please, I'm trying to keep my legs elevated

Me: Isn't that how you ended up in this situation

And then she groaned and I was laughing like an idiot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustAPaddy
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
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My friend got mad at me yesterday and I don't know why. He had just picked up a sewing machine and was telling me how exited he was to start sewing, so naturally I asked:

Sew what?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ineverreadit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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Are goldfish naturally shy creatures?

Sometimes they're a little koi.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
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Naturally, my dad kicked my ass at making a dad joke
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IKissedAMagikarp
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2013
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Was watching a nature show about whales.

How do the Orcas know how to hunt together?

They must orca-strate it.

Groans from around the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brute1100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Mt. Rushmore rocks!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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Nature in a Nutshell
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tway_UX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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I asked people what their favourite natural disaster was...

Avalanches won by a landslide.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BernardoPiedade
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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You do know that modern appliances are really spying on us, and sending back data on our habits. In fact..

Vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years.

πŸ‘︎ 174
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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I found pictures of Mt. Rushmore before it was carved

Its natural beauty was unpresidented

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiva8512
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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Respect nature, my deer
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Planet_A
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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You wouldn't know it by looking at him, but my friend is a natural at remodeling kitchens.

He's counter intuitive

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..πŸ’©
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unrealhumour
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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the stonefish has no natural predator to fear from....

...except the paperfish, which is supposed to be even more superior.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change colour?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cake_spaghetti101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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The board is back in it's natural habitat.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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Nature just loves when Spring comes around...

I mean just look at the trees, they're re-leaf-ed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayWolf85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Nature's call
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobowithadegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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What did 2n+1 say to 2n?

I literally can't even

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plainrane
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Natural log FTW!
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MohanBhargava
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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A rare picture of ground in its natural habitat
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrTomas150
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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Natural numbers fail to understand the importance of decimal numbers.

They always miss the point.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Nature is healing imgur.com/KpIQvu4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihrie82
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Why did Gilbert O'Sullivan go to the bank

A loan again, naturally.

My dad just came out with this on the sofa, not sure if he read it elsewhere but all the same he's very chuffed with himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssolarprincess
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do people hate lobsters

Cause there clawfaul

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guest1928349284
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
You can find many natural remedies…

In a farm-acy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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They said plastic is bad for nature

That's why I used it indoors

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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My late Dad was a rebellious Chef by nature. He taught me to never..

..play by the Rouxs.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A man is walking down the street

when he notices a hot, busty woman on the sidewalk. He approaches her and says, "I'll give you a thousand dollars if you let me bite your nipples." Naturally the woman was reluctant, but concluding that she really needed the money, she agreed. So they go into an alley, she lifts up her shirt and unhooks her bra. He proceeds to bury his face in her breasts, moving and shaking his head. After a full minute of this, she says, "Well? Aren't you going to bite them?" He walks away, saying, "Nah... that's too expensive."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ir9199
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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What’s the coolest way to die?

Hypothermia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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I've often wondered, are people with photographic memories born with that ability..

..or does it just take time to develop ?

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Nature is beautiful
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jout-12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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Arguing over current events is perfectly natural, but there’s a time and a place.

It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimgolgari
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Not your normal format, but I have to share as I am pretty proud

For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"

I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural

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πŸ‘€︎ u/proygratoke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is there so much dirt on the forest floor?

Because nature abhors a vacuum

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frasaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Sleeping comes so naturally to me.

I could do it with my eyes closed.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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The natural beauty of Mt Rushmore, before it was carved,

was unpresidented.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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