How often do pirate attacks occur?
What did the blonde do when she found out most accidents occur within 20 miles of the home?
I saw pretty bad mudslide begin to occur...
...it went downhill from there.
I just read most auto accidents occur within 3 miles from home.
Whats the worst crime to occur at a fish market?
It occurs to me at this stage the election has become sexist.
All I see are male in ballots.
What do you call someone who saw a crime occur at an Apple Store?
Some people don’t like all the attention that occurs when you combine the spellings of 3 with 5 to create both a fake word/number.
But personally, I thrive on it.
What occurs when you combine images of plants together?
What Jewish light phenomenon occurs in the northern sky?
At what time during the school day does menarche usually occur?
Laughing at a fart joke, a thought occurs to me...
The reek shall inherit the mirth!
I'm sexually attracted to the note that occurs at 440hz
I asked my dad when most airplane accidents occur and he said...
When they hit the ground
Edit: I also told him that when we are in the air it feels like swimming and he said that that is exactly how the Malaysian flight felt
There's an ongoing armed seige occurring at at the zoo...
The gunmen have taken a number of ostriches.
This occurred to me at 1 am and I’ve never been more proud
It occurred to me today that I would have loved to see two of my favorite bands from the 90s, led respectively by David Usher and Gavin Rossdale, on the same ticket. The sign on the theatre would have been epic.
Friday was roasting saturday and sunday brutally yet they never occurred a word. Wednesday, being a harmonist, asked them why they stayed mum for which they replied, "because we are weakened in front of you guys".
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.
My wife is upset with me...
All I said was, "Hi coming, I'm Dad!"
After aimlessly walking around the gym for an hour, something occurred to me.
As a US citizen, seeing all of these trade wars occuring with our country has me tarrified.
An actual headline in Bloomberg news this morning:
"Saudi Arabia Oil Fears Look Well Founded."
I love it when these things occur in nature!
A river was depressed and jumped off a cliff. After years of this occurring I asked....
Scientists have discovered a giant naturally occuring windmill
They say it's Mother nature's biggest fan.
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.
The man says "One whiskey for me and one for the road"
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
The Doors, in 1966, heard the news about Buddhist monks performing acts of self immolation. After listening to what was occurring, they decided to make a heartfelt song to express their solidarity with the Buddhist plight.
And that’s why we have a song called “Light my Friar”.
According to a new report, adverse side effects from Botox injections occurred in a large number of people last year
None of them seemed surprised
My husband got my daughter today. Eye rolling occurred...
Eating at IHOP
Daughter: "What is sugar substitute?"
Dad: "You use that when sugar calls in sick."
A massacre occurred one day in the town hall....
Everybody wearing Polo, Nike, Ralph Lauren, ect. was killed. After the cops came the they found one survivor and asked him " How'd you survive son?"
"I was wearing under-armor" he replied.
I am ashamed to admit the following occurred during project management training today:
We had begun a section on 'change management', and to prove his point, the facilitator challenged us to try to name one thing that does not involve change.
I proudly shouted out "A CREDIT CARD!"
He looks at me and asks, "A... credit card?"
I reply, "Yes. There is no change when paying with a credit card..."
Did you hear about the guy that got pecked to death by a chicken?
It was a murder most fowl
Chess Pun
Did it ever occur to Magnus Carlsen that he could be eliminated from his own chess tournament?
Norway!
Brand new protein powder, not even filled half whey
Daughter: I have to do a report on sinkholes. Me: Oh, well do you know the best kind of sinkhole?
I know it’s not gneiss to say it, but..
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