Election results
Looks like a lot of people in Georgia will be laughing their Ossoff
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Which game was a result of a mind blowing idea?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
I wrote to the Vice President to ask him to overturn the election results...
But that's just my own To Pence.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
My grandpa grew up during the depression, as a result, he never threw anything away.
He died in the war, holding a hand grenade.
π︎ 871
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
I was anxiously waiting to hear the result of the Worst Bad Habit Awards
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
Despite getting A-level results of A, B, B, A
it seems that no employer will take a chance on me.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
Joe sure is patient when it comes to waiting for the results of the election
All I hear is Joe Biden his time till the results are finalized!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
What did Trump say when he got his Covid results back?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
What were Donald Trumpβs COVID-19 test results?
Extremely positive. The most positive, in fact. Everybodyβs talking about it. Itβs yuuuge. Nobodyβs seen anything like it. Sleepy joe never wouldβve been able to pull this off.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
The Senate majority leader refuses to acknowledge the election results.
Heβs acting like a real Mitch.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
My cheap noble challenged the election results.
It was a discount viscount recount.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
What did Bugs Bunny say when the doctor asked him how he should be contacted with his test results?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
What do you call a Reddit post that oxidizes sugar and results in a nutty brown flavour?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
Can I see the result of my eye test
π︎ 35
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
Google is set to come out with a new browser that manages search results based solely on your DNA
Set to be called the Google Chromosome.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
The result of an art competition...
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
When my kids found that the fall term would be completely online, the result was instant drama and tears.
But now that we had a few drinks, we feel better.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
What do you call the kid in class that always demands the teacher give the exam results ASAP?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
Picky eater results in epic dad joke from my daughter...
My middle child, who loves rice, declined the yellow rice we offered him because apparently he only likes one type of rice.
Without missing a beat my daughter (11 y/o) exclaimed, "stop being rice-ist."
My job is done, clearly there is no more I can teach her.
π︎ 685
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
We received your test results from the urologist...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
Theresa May is stepping down on June 7th. As a result, the last week of May is the first week of June.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ May 24 2019
I COULD tell you a top secret combination of words which result in the instant death of anyone hearing or reading them..
But then I'd have to kill you.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jan 15 2020
What is the result of breeding two redhead bakers?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 01 2020
Iowa Results Justin
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 05 2020
We need to discuss your results sir. Please, have a seat.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 15 2019
What do you call it when it takes more than 24 hours to see any election results?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 17 2020
Hospital told me my blood test results had been 'lost'
I knew I shouldn't have trusted Dr. Acula
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
My NAD test results came back
and it turns out I'm dyslexic
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 18 2020
Has anyone got the results from the Iowa...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 04 2020
The results of the post-mortem were in, and it was clear the man had been murdered with a plate of mild curry.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
You're fired, Jack. The test results came back, and you tested positive for Coke
π︎ 120
π
︎ May 01 2019
Important lab results
π︎ 29
π
︎ Aug 17 2019
I opened a book and counted the average value of how many times the letters A to M appear in each page of the book. After getting the results, I threw them away.
They are only means to an N.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 17 2019
Lawyer - Doctor, as a result of your examinations, would you say the woman was pregnant?
Doctor - Yes, she was pregnant, but not as a result of my examination.
Taken from an actual court hearing
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 08 2019
The result of thinking about peanut puns while sleep-deprived
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 08 2019
Which piece of punctuation is usually a result of bowel cancer?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 19 2019
I can't believe the results of the Australian Election this year.
Bill really got the shorten of the stick.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
If Nokia takes over the Kia company, does that result in No Kia π
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 03 2019
Received the results back for my blood test, and I was pleased.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
Might result in in-bread kids.
π︎ 119
π
︎ Sep 14 2018
There are two types of people in the world... Those that can extrapolate results from incomplete data and...
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 18 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.