Election results

Looks like a lot of people in Georgia will be laughing their Ossoff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r0n0j0y
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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Which game was a result of a mind blowing idea?

Russian roulette

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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I wrote to the Vice President to ask him to overturn the election results...

But that's just my own To Pence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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My grandpa grew up during the depression, as a result, he never threw anything away.

He died in the war, holding a hand grenade.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I was anxiously waiting to hear the result of the Worst Bad Habit Awards

It was nail-biting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alwaysthecold
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Despite getting A-level results of A, B, B, A

it seems that no employer will take a chance on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Joe sure is patient when it comes to waiting for the results of the election

All I hear is Joe Biden his time till the results are finalized!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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What did Trump say when he got his Covid results back?

I aced it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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What were Donald Trump’s COVID-19 test results?

Extremely positive. The most positive, in fact. Everybody’s talking about it. It’s yuuuge. Nobody’s seen anything like it. Sleepy joe never would’ve been able to pull this off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/taylor5479
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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The Senate majority leader refuses to acknowledge the election results.

He’s acting like a real Mitch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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My cheap noble challenged the election results.

It was a discount viscount recount.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiftyMcShift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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What did Bugs Bunny say when the doctor asked him how he should be contacted with his test results?

WhatsApp doc.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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What do you call a Reddit post that oxidizes sugar and results in a nutty brown flavour?

Karmalization.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socraticfanboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Can I see the result of my eye test

Probably not

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yourmomspetfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Google is set to come out with a new browser that manages search results based solely on your DNA

Set to be called the Google Chromosome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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The result of an art competition...

Is a draw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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When my kids found that the fall term would be completely online, the result was instant drama and tears.

But now that we had a few drinks, we feel better.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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What do you call the kid in class that always demands the teacher give the exam results ASAP?

Markus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lakkabrah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Picky eater results in epic dad joke from my daughter...

My middle child, who loves rice, declined the yellow rice we offered him because apparently he only likes one type of rice.

Without missing a beat my daughter (11 y/o) exclaimed, "stop being rice-ist."

My job is done, clearly there is no more I can teach her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Nik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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We received your test results from the urologist...

Urine for a surprise!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsaSnap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Theresa May is stepping down on June 7th. As a result, the last week of May is the first week of June.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDNL
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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I COULD tell you a top secret combination of words which result in the instant death of anyone hearing or reading them..

But then I'd have to kill you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I was terrified by the results of my blood test

But my doctor just said B positive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmlrmlchess
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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What is the result of breeding two redhead bakers?

A GingerBreed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr0u4ker
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Iowa Results Justin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/douglasses2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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We need to discuss your results sir. Please, have a seat.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dufosho
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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What do you call it when it takes more than 24 hours to see any election results?

Electile dysfunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiquidSnake13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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Hospital told me my blood test results had been 'lost'

I knew I shouldn't have trusted Dr. Acula

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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My NAD test results came back

and it turns out I'm dyslexic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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Has anyone got the results from the Iowa...

Cau-chaos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jinx99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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The results of the post-mortem were in, and it was clear the man had been murdered with a plate of mild curry.

A Blunt Force Korma

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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You're fired, Jack. The test results came back, and you tested positive for Coke
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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Important lab results
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πŸ‘€︎ u/withmoxie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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I opened a book and counted the average value of how many times the letters A to M appear in each page of the book. After getting the results, I threw them away.

They are only means to an N.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Lawyer - Doctor, as a result of your examinations, would you say the woman was pregnant?

Doctor - Yes, she was pregnant, but not as a result of my examination.

Taken from an actual court hearing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pappajay2001
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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The result of thinking about peanut puns while sleep-deprived
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chivels_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Which piece of punctuation is usually a result of bowel cancer?

;

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.

... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weekend833
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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I can't believe the results of the Australian Election this year.

Bill really got the shorten of the stick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darthmonks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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If Nokia takes over the Kia company, does that result in No Kia πŸ˜‚
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dalot7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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Received the results back for my blood test, and I was pleased.

Top marks: A+.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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Might result in in-bread kids.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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There are two types of people in the world... Those that can extrapolate results from incomplete data and...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catonmyshoulder69
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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