It's called, "Prose and Cons".
He was very counterintuitive.
It's my 2020 vision.
This has two outcomes: a) person says what. b) person says sandwich
a) A sandwich! What did you think you’d get? b) You know, you have no clue how many people say what!
I'll keep you posted on the outcome
Some of them were pretty strange: only he could understand them and explaining the 'pun' to somebody else would take like half an hour. Anyway-
He said, "So I'll go first?"
I said sure.
I think he took "pun-a-thon" a bit too literally - he took out a marker and drew a point, and then he kept drawing this straight line (he's good at drawing straight lines) while taking how many ever steps back. I for one was concerned, because first off I didn't know how long I'd have to stick around for this, and second of all, I didn't know if I could clean the mess he'd inevitably leave behind.
He kept drawing this line! We stepped out of my living room, then my apartment which was on ground-level, and he kept drawing it. He drew his line all the way through the corridor, up until the entrance to the building, and when I kept asking him if he's done yet, he didn't say a word. I had to keep subtly reassuring security and everyone who was staring at my friend hunched over like that robot from Wall-E.
He stepped out of the building and kept on drawing his line. At this point I was trying to guess what the hell is the outcome. I kept screaming punchlines at him like "is this where you draw the line?", "are you going to punch me after this so this is a punchline?" and shit like that. There were people following us and two were taking videos and it was really fucking uncomfortable.
Right after he was outside the building and the premises, he started to draw this stunning drawing of the building right on the pavement. It was almost magical, as if he had been commissioned to make an ad for my place but for a million bucks. At this point the people who were following us didn't even get pissed off because they were so engrossed in his drawing. I was surprised the marker kept going on.
After about 20 minutes - he was a real quick draw (no pun intended) - he stood up and a crowd of two dozen clapped and cheered for him.
I told him, "Dude that looks fucking amazing, but I thought we were in a pun-a-thon. Why such a long set-up?"
He replied, "Yeah it was pretty drawn out."
(for more drawn-out jokes like this, visit r/feghoot!)
Man was he shocked with the current outcome!
So my family and I were watching the news and it was talking about a story about young children swallowing batteries from their toys and my dad decides to say (during this sad story) "So do you think the parents should be CHARGED?"
We agreed to paint our chests to read "FOOTBALL" as we sat in the stands. But two of my pals, the first and second "O", didn't show up. And our team lost! I really should've expected that outcome. My absent friends were the bad o-men.
Context: I just painted my nails, and I wasn't pleased with the outcome.
Me: Well, I had already written off this mani anyway... Sigh, yes, I just said mani.
His response: Well, it would be pretty pedi of me to mock you for it.
With my 6yo daughter last night watching the episode of Stranger Things entitled "Holly, Jolly"
Her: is this episode called Holly, Jolly?
Me: Yes, it is.
Her: I hope Holly doesn't die.
Me: I think she'll be pleased with the outcome.
Don't know if this counts, but I got a chuckle out of it.
Say your name is Michael Smith, and you are introduced to my dad. There are two possible outcomes.
- "You must be Mr. And Mrs. Smith's son
- Michael Keaton?
And he asks nearly everyone he meets and greets "explain the universe in three words and give five examples."
Dad : |
