Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.

My wife: Who did?

Me: Yep.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Effects of Corona
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I still experience long-lasting psychological effects from having a childhood friend that took offense at everything I did.

My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourLocalCreep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctors say some effects of COVID-19 may follow patients for life.

You could say it's a choronic disease.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kngfbng
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol

Its bird-gin-ing research.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kelaab
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....

I’ll make you an offer I can’t understand.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthLukas71
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do movie makers record laser gun sound effects in churches?

Because they go β€œpew pew pew”.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PleaseBeSerious
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain

Due to all the indoor fins.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Messicanhero
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..

But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a weird side-effect from Covid; it makes me want to grope an ethnic Belgian dwarf...

...I'm feeling a little Flemish.Β Β  cough

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
We know the effects of second hand smoke are terrible.

Does anyone have peer reviewed studies on the effects of minute hand smoke?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Millenial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists are studying the effect of drugs on various seabirds.

They're leaving no tern unstoned.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientist studying the effect of cannabis on seabirds, have left no tern unstoned.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
There is a new found side effect of coronavirus.

It's lyme disease.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A person who studies how nut allergies effect the human body

Are they known as a Nutty Professor?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a Mandela effect believer misspells something?

r/dayjawfood

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nogonreddit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A conductor kissed a girl in his bus, police took the conductor to jail and gave him electric shocks but it had no effect. Why?

because he was a bad conductor.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JingaLaLahuu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried explaining to my girlfriend what the effects of network packet loss were.

But I just couldn't get the message across.

Edit: I wish I knew more about networking so I could understand all these jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Offilious
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2016
🚨︎ report
My wife was telling me about a new drug for ADHD. She said, "the side effects are worse than the symptoms!"

I replied, "The Simpson's is a pretty wholesome and entertaining cartoon. If the side effects are worse, then they can't be that bad."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a pun about Mass Effect...

...but I figure if I did, I'd be Asari.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
The other day I was reading that alcohol can have terrible effects on your wellbeing.

I immediately decided to give up reading

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ABOYCALLEDBRYAN
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a drug dealer who also warns you about its harmful effects?

A Harmacist (harm assist)

PS:- Sorry I am not high today.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ibrainzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A side effect of gaining weight is often...

a waning gait.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flexremmington
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm extremely interested in researching antibiotics and their effect upon diseases...

I guess you'd say I'm cure-ious.

Thanks ladies and germs! Tip your servers!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Ornithologists have recently been studying if cannabis has any effect on seabirds...

They’ve left no tern un-stoned.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smartasskicker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be an expert in the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Then I started to learn more about it.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
🚨︎ report
The real effect of UV-light on parties [OC]
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toofgib
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What's an appropriate sound effect for a dad joke about wheat?

Durum roll!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aitchnyu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
After reading the negative effects of drinking and smoking..

I’ve decided to quit reading.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HoshForce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
According to a new report, adverse side effects from Botox injections occurred in a large number of people last year

None of them seemed surprised

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
This foggy weather has had an effect on my ability to remember the alphabet

I remember A,B,C,D, and F but I misty

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phoenix1270
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Lizards are particularly responsive to the sedative effects of chamomileon tea
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pnewell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Menopause has a very distinct effect.

Period, the end.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a Science Fair project on how music effects concentration and memory. Can any of you guys help me think of a punny or clever title?

If there's anything I'm terrible at, it's coming up with puns. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MurderousPaper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2013
🚨︎ report
A bit of oil was floating in a puddle creating a swirly rainbow effect

It's pretty slick

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my gf with a delayed effect.

So last night we were brushing our teeth before going to bed, and I ask her "You know why eating a clock is a bad idea?"
She looks at me funny, because she knows what's coming.
"Because it's very time consuming."
She just rolls her eyes, and goes to bed. But because the joke was in English, and English isn't our first language, I think she didn't quite get it.
A minute after she lies down, I hear a loud groan coming out of bed, followed by "that was really, really lame, honey!"

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smallwater
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Why do we call unintended results of taking medications side effects, and not...

pill bugs?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PatrickBaitman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What do we want? The Doppler Effect! When do we want it?

nyow

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobjoeman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2015
🚨︎ report
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.

I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2017
🚨︎ report
People from the Netherlands smoke weed because a large part of their country is underneath the sea level. They are only trying to get "high" so that they can escape the effects of global warming.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gandurk
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2015
🚨︎ report
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..

But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain because...

...of the indoor fins...

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish at at home can have a calming effect on the brain.

Due to all the indoor fins.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TellmSteveDave
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain

because of the indoor fins.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain

Due to all the indoor fins.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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