Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I still experience long-lasting psychological effects from having a childhood friend that took offense at everything I did.
My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.
Doctors say some effects of COVID-19 may follow patients for life.
You could say it's a choronic disease.
Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol
Its bird-gin-ing research.
When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....
I’ll make you an offer I can’t understand.
Why do movie makers record laser gun sound effects in churches?
Because they go “pew pew pew”.
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain
Due to all the indoor fins.
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
I have a weird side-effect from Covid; it makes me want to grope an ethnic Belgian dwarf...
...I'm feeling a little Flemish. cough
We know the effects of second hand smoke are terrible.
Does anyone have peer reviewed studies on the effects of minute hand smoke?
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.
Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis
Scientists are studying the effect of drugs on various seabirds.
They're leaving no tern unstoned.
There is a new found side effect of coronavirus.
A person who studies how nut allergies effect the human body
Are they known as a Nutty Professor?
What do you get when a Mandela effect believer misspells something?
A conductor kissed a girl in his bus, police took the conductor to jail and gave him electric shocks but it had no effect. Why?
because he was a bad conductor.
I tried explaining to my girlfriend what the effects of network packet loss were.
But I just couldn't get the message across.
Edit: I wish I knew more about networking so I could understand all these jokes.
My wife was telling me about a new drug for ADHD. She said, "the side effects are worse than the symptoms!"
I replied, "The Simpson's is a pretty wholesome and entertaining cartoon. If the side effects are worse, then they can't be that bad."
I was going to make a pun about Mass Effect...
...but I figure if I did, I'd be Asari.
The other day I was reading that alcohol can have terrible effects on your wellbeing.
I immediately decided to give up reading
What do you call a drug dealer who also warns you about its harmful effects?
A Harmacist (harm assist)
PS:- Sorry I am not high today.
A side effect of gaining weight is often...
I'm extremely interested in researching antibiotics and their effect upon diseases...
I guess you'd say I'm cure-ious.
Thanks ladies and germs! Tip your servers!
Ornithologists have recently been studying if cannabis has any effect on seabirds...
They’ve left no tern un-stoned.
I used to be an expert in the Dunning-Kruger effect.
Then I started to learn more about it.
The real effect of UV-light on parties [OC]
What's an appropriate sound effect for a dad joke about wheat?
After reading the negative effects of drinking and smoking..
I’ve decided to quit reading.
According to a new report, adverse side effects from Botox injections occurred in a large number of people last year
None of them seemed surprised
This foggy weather has had an effect on my ability to remember the alphabet
I remember A,B,C,D, and F but I misty
Lizards are particularly responsive to the sedative effects of chamomileon tea
Menopause has a very distinct effect.
I have a Science Fair project on how music effects concentration and memory. Can any of you guys help me think of a punny or clever title?
If there's anything I'm terrible at, it's coming up with puns. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated!
A bit of oil was floating in a puddle creating a swirly rainbow effect
Got my gf with a delayed effect.
So last night we were brushing our teeth before going to bed, and I ask her "You know why eating a clock is a bad idea?"
She looks at me funny, because she knows what's coming.
"Because it's very time consuming."
She just rolls her eyes, and goes to bed. But because the joke was in English, and English isn't our first language, I think she didn't quite get it.
A minute after she lies down, I hear a loud groan coming out of bed, followed by "that was really, really lame, honey!"
Why do we call unintended results of taking medications side effects, and not...
What do we want? The Doppler Effect! When do we want it?
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
People from the Netherlands smoke weed because a large part of their country is underneath the sea level. They are only trying to get "high" so that they can escape the effects of global warming.
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain because...
Scientist studying the effect of cannabis on seabirds, have left no tern unstoned.
Keeping tropical fish at at home can have a calming effect on the brain.
Due to all the indoor fins.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain
Due to all the indoor fins.
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