Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?
Being on this subreddit too long may lead to
Did you hear the lead singer of disturbed isn’t going to self isolate?
He’s down with the sickness.
hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
the scent of old spies gave him away
And now the pasta will lead us in a hymn...
Oh no, the lead singer of Disturbed has Coronavirus
He’s DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS
Makeup used to contain lead that actually make their skin worse.
President Trump just picked a fish to lead the coronavirus response team
He’s the Sturgeon General
Working on a crossword puzzle. Can anyone tell me the first initial and last name of the lead actor from Cast Away?
Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.
Spooning often leads to forking.
What do you call a pencil with no lead?
Honestly I woudden't lead someone else steel this pun
I accidentally sat upon a solo album by the lead guitarist, keyboardist and backing vocalist of the band U2 but quickly jumped up, scared that I broke it.
For a second, I was on Edge.
I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle. I bought a steel whistle but it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle
But it steel wooden lead me whistle
Why can't Plastic Man lead an orchestra?
Because he's a poor conductor
Told the x-ray technician I'm made of lead
But she could see right through me.
What did Justin Timberlake say when the lead singer of Weezer asked him to name a major peninsula on the northern coast of the Black Sea?
Sting has disappeared, The Police have no lead
What do you call a pencil without lead?
How can a simple spelling mistake lead to a lost pregnancy?
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
If I ever meet the lead singer of Pearl Jam, I hope he asks me how I’m doing
So I can respond “if I was Eddie Vedder, I’d be you”
All forms of smoking suck and drinking leads to pour health.
I knew a lead actor who really did "break a leg" when he slipped off the stage during his performance.
He had a really great cast.
Why did the ticks lead a revolution?
because the had the blood of the proletariat inside them.
So I entered my pet moth Effy in a flying race... I was so proud of her... She was in the lead the entire race! But just before the finish, another moth came out of nowhere and flew past her at the finish line to win...
Have you ever seen a moth bawl?
Where do lead based writing utensils come from?
Courtesy of my son, age 10
Autocorrect leads to opportunity.
Why did the lead singer of The Smiths not like the ocean?
Because it was more a sea.
If the female lead of Good Will Hunting hired a little person to chauffeur her in an iconic British car
He’d be Minnie Driver’s mini Mini Driver.
Any new leads on the missing toilet seats?
Not yet, we still have nothing to go on.
Flint Michigan is the lead cause of problems in the US right now
TIL: Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
The movie is called "You Tolkien to me?"
God appears before Moses and tells him he's going to lead His people into the promise land...
Moses says, "NO WAY!" But God said, "YAHWEH!"
They told me drinking lead would be healthy...
Everyone talks about CO2 in the atmosphere which will lead to our impending doom...
However, methane is also silent but deadly.
Why is a well endowed woman always the lead?
Because she’s the titular character!
If Charles Dance was made of lead...
Trump misspeaking can lead to some interesting puns
A Jump-lead walks into a bar
The bartender says "I'll serve you - just don't start anything"
Why did the female lead for Fifty Shades take the role?
Because she didn't meet Dakota for the month yet.
Coldplay's lead singer, Crisp Martin
What is the musical equivalent of a lead balloon?
The lead singer of Nickelback tried out for his school Christmas play...
But he never made it as a wise man.
So the Rolling Stones lead singer is planning to merge a fast food chain with a car manufacturer.
He's calling it McJaguar.
My dog leads the NHL in penalty minutes.
What Do You Call A Deer That leads A Leads An Army
Plugging wires into a lead block produces an AC/DC current
Why do the male cows lead the heard.
They have the best steering.
Random facts lead to Dad jokes.
I told my brothers friends that men and ants were the only species who can conduct war.
One of them asked "Who made the study to find that out?"
And from behind comes "An Ant-thropologist"
According to lead researchers...
Lead is a heavy metal with an atomic number of 82.
Did you hear Trump appointed his lead film editor today?
Yeah, his name is Sean Splicer.
Did you guys know I was in a band called Lead?
We were a heavy metal band.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but . . .
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
Doctorates in Chemistry lead to higher correlation with dad jokes.
My 2 year old son implored my father in law to join him under the table while the rest of us finished our meal. My wife said, "wow, it isn't every day you see a chemistry PhD crawling around under the table."
To which he responded "chemists have been known to periodically go under the table".
I saw a lead statue of Oedipus at Goodwill once.
That was one dense motherfucker.
Dad Joked by my Shift Lead at Starbucks...
I was making whipped creams tonight. Since we make our own, we have these little CO2 cartridges that we use to “charge" the whipped cream. These are conveniently called chargers.
I was looking for these charges, even I asked my shift, “Where'd we put the freaking chargers?!"
To which he replies, “In a San Diego."
For context, the Chargers are an American football team located in San Diego, California.
Took my son to see Ant Man and wife asked if the ending leads into a potential sequel...
I said "Yeah, at the end his sidekick appears...Uncle Man!"
[Metal] I steel think tha tin most of these posts, the comments lead straight into puns. I'm not a big fan, it seems like a copper out.
But thi silvery from one post to the next.
I usually text my girlfriend when I'm walking up the stairs to her apartment, and today I sent her this. I then realized the path I'm taking leads me to here.
Smoking can lead to...
Having a coffin fit.
Heard it from a teacher first, an oldie but a goodie.
Saw a business card with the job title "Lead Architect" on it the other day...
So I asked, "Have you not been promoted to gold architect just yet, then?"
So you know those doors that lead out of buildings...
They used to be called its, but people stopped calling them that. So now they are called Ex-its [Exits]
Our lead developer just told me he's getting 500 internal server errors from a new site we're setting up
I told him that's an awful lot of errors for a brand new site
Intense movies with my dad lead to this sort of thing way too often...
Watching some intense mobster movie with my dad:
Two guys come in with shotguns and unload about 10 shots into the don while he's eating really fancy food and drinking wine.
Dad looks over.
"They'll never get the wine out of that shirt."
What do you call the lead singer of a Black Sabbath cover band?
Construction question leads to classic dad joke...
Found this conversation between a friend and his dad on facebook this morning.
"I emailed my father asking how to tell if a wall is a supporting wall
his response : Does it compliment you or just complain about everything ?"