I hate K-pop because listening to it reminds me of the time I spent in the Korean war and leads to extreme anxiety

My doctor says I may have BTSD.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoor_veer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Have you seen who's playing the lead in the new Blind Batman film?

It's Christian Braille.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquiddlyD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Since they are filming Spider-Man 3 near my house, I thought I’d write the lead actor an orchestral piece...

I think I’ll call it β€œMr. Holland’s Opus”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leeericewing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....

Well I am.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I did my navigation task and it lead me straight to you...❀️❀️❀️
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hustle_champ
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL Elton John wrote an unreleased song about his short-lived affair with the lead actor in "Who's The Boss?"

He called it, "Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SusheeMonster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the director of the stage production of Cinderella say, after the lead called out sick before opening night?

Get the understudy, the shoe, must go on!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Sunk like a lead baloon
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Wouldn't be surprised to learn Elon Musk to leads a mercenary team of tesla employees who bite victims to spread coronavirus

They are called the Flu Flux Fang!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/16thPeregrine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
You can lead a horticulture,

but you can't make her think.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aw8nf8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Arsenic, cadmium, and lead decided to start a band.

They were a heavy metal group.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/erebus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the time the lead singer of the band β€œThe Police” went undercover to catch a criminal?

It was a Sting operation

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dig-ol-bick
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad picked up some cadmium, osmium, and lead

*Dad is hammering around in the garage*

Son: Whatcha doing?

Dad: I'm thinking about playing in heavy metal band

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know the Ace of Base lead singer was also a mathematician?

She saw the sine.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
And now the pasta will lead us in a hymn...
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Razabeth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?

More geese on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerspoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Lead and read
πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyLeonGR
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're looking for a lead singer for your wham cover band

I'm your man

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Being on this subreddit too long may lead to

Punintended consequences

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the lead singer of disturbed isn’t going to self isolate?

He’s down with the sickness.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/E-radi-cate
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Honestly I woudden't lead someone else steel this pun
πŸ‘︎ 495
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1_hele_euro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?

the scent of old spies gave him away

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asianwaste
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Working on a crossword puzzle. Can anyone tell me the first initial and last name of the lead actor from Cast Away?

Thanks.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spongebue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Makeup used to contain lead that actually make their skin worse.

That is a bit iron-ic.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/erkang06
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
President Trump just picked a fish to lead the coronavirus response team

He’s the Sturgeon General

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSolo1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.

It wasn't up to snuff.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pencil with no lead?

Pointless

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rammanoodle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle. I bought a steel whistle but it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle

But it steel wooden lead me whistle

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Dawesome
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally sat upon a solo album by the lead guitarist, keyboardist and backing vocalist of the band U2 but quickly jumped up, scared that I broke it.

For a second, I was on Edge.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't Plastic Man lead an orchestra?

Because he's a poor conductor

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsxenix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Told the x-ray technician I'm made of lead

But she could see right through me.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?

The ruler.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
All forms of smoking suck and drinking leads to pour health.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Justin Timberlake say when the lead singer of Weezer asked him to name a major peninsula on the northern coast of the Black Sea?

Crimea, Rivers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/underdog_rox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How can a simple spelling mistake lead to a lost pregnancy?

Pregnot

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGCToo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I knew a lead actor who really did "break a leg" when he slipped off the stage during his performance.

He had a really great cast.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Flint Michigan is the lead cause of problems in the US right now
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jokitheraccoon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2016
🚨︎ report
If I ever meet the lead singer of Pearl Jam, I hope he asks me how I’m doing

So I can respond β€œif I was Eddie Vedder, I’d be you”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mistapiss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the ticks lead a revolution?

because the had the blood of the proletariat inside them.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/am_sphee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Autocorrect leads to opportunity.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NUMB_NUTS_417
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Oh no, the lead singer of Disturbed has Coronavirus

He’s DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/typhis76
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Sting has disappeared, The Police have no lead
πŸ‘︎ 216
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/david7494
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pencil without lead?

Pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
You can lead a horticulture ...

but you can't make her think

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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