Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?

More geese on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerspoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
Being on this subreddit too long may lead to

Punintended consequences

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the lead singer of disturbed isn’t going to self isolate?

He’s down with the sickness.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/E-radi-cate
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
Lead and read
πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyLeonGR
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?

the scent of old spies gave him away

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asianwaste
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
And now the pasta will lead us in a hymn...
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Razabeth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh no, the lead singer of Disturbed has Coronavirus

He’s DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/typhis76
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
Makeup used to contain lead that actually make their skin worse.

That is a bit iron-ic.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/erkang06
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
President Trump just picked a fish to lead the coronavirus response team

He’s the Sturgeon General

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSolo1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Working on a crossword puzzle. Can anyone tell me the first initial and last name of the lead actor from Cast Away?

Thanks.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spongebue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.

It wasn't up to snuff.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
Spooning often leads to forking.

But what about sporking?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JeromeGBGB
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pencil with no lead?

Pointless

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rammanoodle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Honestly I woudden't lead someone else steel this pun
πŸ‘︎ 493
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1_hele_euro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally sat upon a solo album by the lead guitarist, keyboardist and backing vocalist of the band U2 but quickly jumped up, scared that I broke it.

For a second, I was on Edge.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle. I bought a steel whistle but it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle

But it steel wooden lead me whistle

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Dawesome
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't Plastic Man lead an orchestra?

Because he's a poor conductor

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsxenix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Told the x-ray technician I'm made of lead

But she could see right through me.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Justin Timberlake say when the lead singer of Weezer asked him to name a major peninsula on the northern coast of the Black Sea?

Crimea, Rivers.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/underdog_rox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Sting has disappeared, The Police have no lead
πŸ‘︎ 214
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/david7494
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pencil without lead?

Pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How can a simple spelling mistake lead to a lost pregnancy?

Pregnot

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGCToo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?

The ruler.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
If I ever meet the lead singer of Pearl Jam, I hope he asks me how I’m doing

So I can respond β€œif I was Eddie Vedder, I’d be you”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mistapiss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
All forms of smoking suck and drinking leads to pour health.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I knew a lead actor who really did "break a leg" when he slipped off the stage during his performance.

He had a really great cast.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the ticks lead a revolution?

because the had the blood of the proletariat inside them.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/am_sphee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
So I entered my pet moth Effy in a flying race... I was so proud of her... She was in the lead the entire race! But just before the finish, another moth came out of nowhere and flew past her at the finish line to win...

Have you ever seen a moth bawl?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaymantheLegend
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do lead based writing utensils come from?

PENCILvania

Courtesy of my son, age 10

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dannygumballs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Autocorrect leads to opportunity.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NUMB_NUTS_417
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the lead singer of The Smiths not like the ocean?

Because it was more a sea.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
If the female lead of Good Will Hunting hired a little person to chauffeur her in an iconic British car

He’d be Minnie Driver’s mini Mini Driver.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Any new leads on the missing toilet seats?

Not yet, we still have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bumsieboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Flint Michigan is the lead cause of problems in the US right now
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jokitheraccoon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2016
🚨︎ report
TIL: Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

The movie is called "You Tolkien to me?"

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
🚨︎ report
God appears before Moses and tells him he's going to lead His people into the promise land...

Moses says, "NO WAY!" But God said, "YAHWEH!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDictator26
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
They told me drinking lead would be healthy...

Man, I was lead on.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sharkdetective
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Everyone talks about CO2 in the atmosphere which will lead to our impending doom...

However, methane is also silent but deadly.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is a well endowed woman always the lead?

Because she’s the titular character!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Horithus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
If Charles Dance was made of lead...

he'd be Charles Dense.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sinius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Trump misspeaking can lead to some interesting puns
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sherbetholmes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
🚨︎ report
A Jump-lead walks into a bar

The bartender says "I'll serve you - just don't start anything"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the female lead for Fifty Shades take the role?

Because she didn't meet Dakota for the month yet.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quasar226
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Coldplay's lead singer, Crisp Martin
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepobv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
🚨︎ report
What is the musical equivalent of a lead balloon?

A Led Zeppelin

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
The lead singer of Nickelback tried out for his school Christmas play...

But he never made it as a wise man.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ericmc80
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
🚨︎ report
So the Rolling Stones lead singer is planning to merge a fast food chain with a car manufacturer.

He's calling it McJaguar.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My dog leads the NHL in penalty minutes.

He’s always ruffing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pompstomp
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What Do You Call A Deer That leads A Leads An Army

A CommanDeer

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gohon247
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Plugging wires into a lead block produces an AC/DC current

Because it's heavy metal

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ams1492
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Puns can lead to such misunderstandings... youtu.be/IesqfgqJsDA
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/travisjonescomedy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2015
🚨︎ report
Why do the male cows lead the heard.

They have the best steering.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mustachereviews
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Random facts lead to Dad jokes.

I told my brothers friends that men and ants were the only species who can conduct war.

One of them asked "Who made the study to find that out?"

And from behind comes "An Ant-thropologist"

πŸ‘︎ 304
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CommissarCallahan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2014
🚨︎ report
According to lead researchers...

Lead is a heavy metal with an atomic number of 82.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/msoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Trump appointed his lead film editor today?

Yeah, his name is Sean Splicer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teeim
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you guys know I was in a band called Lead?

We were a heavy metal band.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LoveFoolosophy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2014
🚨︎ report
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but . . .

He can't get no Satyr Faction.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxMike
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2014
🚨︎ report
Doctorates in Chemistry lead to higher correlation with dad jokes.

My 2 year old son implored my father in law to join him under the table while the rest of us finished our meal. My wife said, "wow, it isn't every day you see a chemistry PhD crawling around under the table."

To which he responded "chemists have been known to periodically go under the table".

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darkmeatchicken
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2014
🚨︎ report
I saw a lead statue of Oedipus at Goodwill once.

That was one dense motherfucker.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mistah_Blue
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad Joked by my Shift Lead at Starbucks...

I was making whipped creams tonight. Since we make our own, we have these little CO2 cartridges that we use to β€œcharge" the whipped cream. These are conveniently called chargers.

I was looking for these charges, even I asked my shift, β€œWhere'd we put the freaking chargers?!" To which he replies, β€œIn a San Diego."

For context, the Chargers are an American football team located in San Diego, California.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thewordofrain
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Took my son to see Ant Man and wife asked if the ending leads into a potential sequel...

I said "Yeah, at the end his sidekick appears...Uncle Man!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EVRYEDGE
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2015
🚨︎ report
[Metal] I steel think tha tin most of these posts, the comments lead straight into puns. I'm not a big fan, it seems like a copper out.

But thi silvery from one post to the next.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bilbowtech
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
🚨︎ report
I usually text my girlfriend when I'm walking up the stairs to her apartment, and today I sent her this. I then realized the path I'm taking leads me to here.
πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chase0602
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2013
🚨︎ report
Smoking can lead to...

Having a coffin fit.

Heard it from a teacher first, an oldie but a goodie.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Borrillz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Saw a business card with the job title "Lead Architect" on it the other day...

So I asked, "Have you not been promoted to gold architect just yet, then?"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LolliTensor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
🚨︎ report
So you know those doors that lead out of buildings...

They used to be called its, but people stopped calling them that. So now they are called Ex-its [Exits]

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pokinator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Our lead developer just told me he's getting 500 internal server errors from a new site we're setting up

I told him that's an awful lot of errors for a brand new site

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unstablereality
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Intense movies with my dad lead to this sort of thing way too often...

Watching some intense mobster movie with my dad: Two guys come in with shotguns and unload about 10 shots into the don while he's eating really fancy food and drinking wine. Dad looks over. "They'll never get the wine out of that shirt."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Perfectionist569
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2013
🚨︎ report
What do you call the lead singer of a Black Sabbath cover band?

Quasi-Osbourne!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1_0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Construction question leads to classic dad joke...

Found this conversation between a friend and his dad on facebook this morning.

"I emailed my father asking how to tell if a wall is a supporting wall

his response : Does it compliment you or just complain about everything ?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeTheBum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
🚨︎ report

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