Step by step guide on how to run..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ladyMariaOfKosm
πŸ“…︎ May 12
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Here’s a step by step guide for riding an escalator.

Step 1.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
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Blind guy walks into a department store and starts swinging his guide dog in circles over his head.

A shop keeper asks him what he is doing and he replies "Taking a look around."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boop108
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
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A blind man walks into a bar with his guide dog.

Then he starts spinning his leashed dog around himself. The bartender asks him what the Hell is he doing, and the blind man goes:

"Just looking around..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alexasha05
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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A guide on how to fall down the stairs:

Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Step 6, Step 12

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Cosmic_Kitten
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.

It made a good ad visor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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How to fall down the stairs, a step by step guide

Step 1. Step2. Step 3. Step 4. Step 5. Step 6. ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patmcheese
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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A guide on how to tell dad jokes:

Step 1: walk up to dad Step 2: tell dad a joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomc128
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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The tour guide says...

...Thank you for visiting the two-wheeled, self-balancing personal transporter museum today; I hope you had a good time. Speaking of good times, check out the food court and gift shop before you leave.

Me: That's a Segway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dlveazie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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Here’s a simple guide on how to ride an escalator.

Step 1.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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I was on a safari in Africa when one of the tourists asked our guide, β€œIs it difficult to spot cheetahs?”

He said, β€œNo, they usually come that way.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Douglas Adams finished writing the first chapter of A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

He thought, β€œFinally! I put A Dent in that book!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Whenever I see a sign in front of a store that says β€œGuide dogs and service animals only” if my kids are with me I’ll say β€œOh no we aren’t service animals so I guess we’re not allowed in here.”

They’re about sick of my shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mwilson0327
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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How to walk up the stairs, a step by step guide
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Patriarch_FH
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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After looking at the galactic traveller's guide, I was shocked by our solar system's rating.

We only had one star.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyxlor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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A quick guide to being grounded

Dad: What is the opposite if maximum

Son: Minimum?

Dad: No, it's minidad! Stares with a huge smile on the face

Son: ...

Dad: ...

Son: ...

Dad: Olay go to your room, you're grounded!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OMEN786
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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I was reading a guide on Immanuel Kant

But a manual can't do experience justice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WesternDrop3321
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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My soon is climbing Everest. I asked him if he had a guide.

He said β€œSure pa”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NorthEastGrey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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Why don't blind people clean up after their guide dogs?

Because they can't see shit!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RudigherJones
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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From The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

β€œYou know,” said Arthur, β€œit’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.” β€œWhy, what did she tell you?” β€œI don’t know, I didn’t listen.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/user120300
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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A two step survival guide if you are stuck on a desserted island.
  1. Check the spelling.

  2. If correct, grab a spoon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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The front of an FDA guide on marijuana

FDA Regulation of Marijuana: Past Actions, Future Plans Douglas C. Throckmorton, M.D. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) ICSB/ASP Joint Meeting April 12, 2016


A Joint meeting on marijuana...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
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The first million people to send me a million dollars, will get a copy of my guide.

Of how to become a millionaire from Reddit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StevenBosc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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A quick guide on "How to fall downstairs":

Step 1

Step 6

Step 8, 9, 10, 11.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yea_I_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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A quick guide on how to fall down the stairs

Step 1 Step 3 Step 6 Step 9,10,11,12

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sweaty_Bollocks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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Harper Lee apparently wrote a guide for cocktail mixing.

Tequila Mockingbird

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xujuk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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What Do Internet Guides Do When They Show You Around The Deep Web?

They give you a TOR!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BluPurpleBluBlu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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I applied for a job as a Shakespeare tour guide

But never made it past the Onbarding process.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRubber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
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I dad joked my tour guide today

She was showing me around a class and the different stuff that they do. A table she was showing me had a light in it and helps line stuff up

Her: "This is what we call a light table."

Me: "It looks pretty heavy to me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LetsNotPlay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2014
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So my wife said there's a ton of ISO's on Facebook for girl guide cookies.

I said we should post it at a boosted price because they are mint in box.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkOdeon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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I saw a book "A Guide to Dying Alone". It looked interesting untill I read the first few pages.

it was about doing your own hair colour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/v_cleaner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
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My tour guide just did this dadjoke

So we were in glenwood springs and went into the caves. It seemed like a really normal tour and just as we're about to exit, the guide tells us to put our ears on the wall of the cave. We all did assuming it was some cool feature of the cave. The guide asks us what we think we're listening to. Some reply water and others reply erosion. The guide tells us we're wrong and all we're doing is listening to hard rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sohamtamhane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2015
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Where do museum tour guides go after they're dead?

The Curatorium

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2017
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How to do the stud finder joke - a step by step guide (may not work for all models of stud finder)

Discovered this today while hanging a curtain rod.

I am using the zircon one step stud finder, seen here http://m.acehardware.com//product/index.jsp?productId=1298011&KPID=997266&cid=CAPLA:G:Shopping_-Measuring_Tools/Marking_Tools-_New&pla=pla_997266&k_clickid=21a0e1ae-1f94-44cd-b27e-a6a83ba1fdc1

Begin by using the stud finder to locate a stud as normal. Release the button.

Lift the stud finder off the wall slightly and press the button. This will help calibrate the stud finder to "empty space", making it think that any hard surface is a stud.

Quickly place the stud finder on your chest, onto your breastbone, the stud finder should beep indicating it is on a stud.

Make joke as normal

This saves you from making the beep noise yourself, which, in my opinion weakens the joke.

This way the tool itself confirms that you're a stud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jsgunn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
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How to recognise pirates - a rough guide

A sailor and his buddies are walking down the streets, looking for the nearest pub. A guard takes one look at their arms and immediately arrests them for piracy. He could see their coarse hairs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spritefamiliar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2016
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A class of students is taking a tour of a cheese factory. The tour guide is showing the kids where the cheese is made, when suddenly a worker operating a forklift loses control and the vehicle goes hurtling towards the visitors. The worker screams:

"Get out of the whey!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lyonhart31
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2013
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My father dad joked our kayaking guide yesterday...

My family went sea kayaking yesterday and our guide's name was Nate. When the guide introduced himself my dad said in his corniest, most exaggerated fake Australian accent "good day Nate!" I groaned along with the rest of my family while my dad chuckled to himself for the next thirty seconds.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2014
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Dad-Trolling: A best practices guide smbc-comics.com/?id=2730#…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nick-A-Brick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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Dadjoked by the Nature Center Guide

Showing kids in the demo how to sex tagged birds in the wild, he explained that if the tag/band is on the left leg, it's a male; females have the tag on the other leg. "Even with birds, the females are always right."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatorflier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2015
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overhead from a campus tour guide

"Sorry to get cheesy on you guys, but we are in Wisconsin" I groaned as I walked by.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/presentEgo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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Dad's pressing question to the guide of a hiking trek in a spanish speaking country.

Guide: (broken english) "There is a lot of grass in this area because...[good reason]."

Dad: (to me, but loud enough for everyone to hear) "You know what the locals call that...?"

Me: "No, what?"

Dad: "Muchas gracias!" (followed by the biggest grin I've ever seen)

Guide: (confused) "De nada..."

My family quickly and casually disassociates before seeing other families face palm for us.

I was the only one who laughed...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rpk213
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2014
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Dad joking the tour guide

After finishing the tour of the majority of the Dallas Cowboys stadium, the guide told us to "feel free to roam around the field."

Me: "Are we allowed to Romo 'round the field?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudebro0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2014
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How to get laid. A guide.

Steps:

  1. Lay on Bed

  2. Wait 2 hours

  3. Lay becomes past tense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/parin89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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Idiot of Ants: Guide to Being a Dad youtube.com/watch?v=leUux…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryan-a
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2013
🚨︎ report
Here’s a step by step guide on how to ride an escalator.

Step 1.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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Here’s a step by step guide for riding an escalator.

Step 1.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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A quick guide on "How to fall downstairs"...

Step 1

Step 6

Step 8, 9, 10, 11...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2017
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