Scout Puns

It's their Denmark.

It’s where I learned you can tie the knot in different ways

Beep Repaired!

Needing to refill on water, they approached a pristine mountain stream. "Surely we don't need to boil THIS water. It's so clear!" they thought. They all got sick.

Never judge a brook by its color.

They were in tents

I went and got them a glass of water.

They're both bee-prepared.

European

A four de lease

Because they know fifty ways to tie the knot

He fixed it and said, “Beep repaired”

I said, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all."

So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.

I continued, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

He said: “For all in tents, and porpoises...”

They thai knots

Tagalong

Should be intents

"Oh, it's just a badge oak."

I was playing a game with a friend on my PC and she started to get tangled in my cords underneath. I stopped and got her out and explained to my friend how she is going blind. And replies back with "so you mean to tell me she is no longer a scout?"

Jokes on him though. I'm just gonna post Samoa.

... Knot.

Brownian motion.

Once upon a time, when I was a wee lad, still in Boy Scouts, I went on a camping trip to Montana with my troop. It was going to be a great time, enjoying the cool weather and scenic views of the evergreen forests. However, we did have one issue: Montana is pretty notorious for having lots of bears. We weren't scared though, since our park ranger guide told us that bears can be scared off by making lots of noise, like yelling or hitting sticks on trees. Anyway, me and one of my friends, we'll call him Frank, were out exploring in the woods. We were doing what we were told to scare off the bears, but we were still a little antsy.

After a while, we got hungry, so we decided to sit down and eat our packed lunch. We found a nice log to sit on and rest our feet, and we put down our packs and started to sit. But then, Frank let out the BIGGEST scream I've ever heard! Then, he took off running, fast as a cheetah. I thought, "Uh, oh! Frank must've seen a bear!", so I took off after him. Frank was running so fast, we must have run for miles at breakneck speed. Eventually, he started to tire, and as I got closer, I saw why Frank screamed and started running. He had sat on a bear trap, and it was stuck fast to his rear end! We had a good laugh about it, but the bear trap really did leave its mark.

It's been a long time since that happened, and Frank hasn't run in while, but I like to tell this story because it explains why Frank's only half-fast now.

(If you don't get the joke, say the last sentence out loud)

Because he always wants Samoa.

Because he's a real sucker.

Me and a bunch of guys were sitting around playing cards while some other scouts were having ice cream. My dad grabs the sprinkles, walks up to us, and starts throwing small pinches of sprinkles at us. He proceeds to say "You guys better get your raincoats, it's sprinkling"

The camping was too, in tents

I don't know if this necessarily qualifies as a "dad joke" as much as a "dad move" but when I was younger, about 10 or 11, I was in the backyard with my dad on a summer afternoon. The sun was going down and I nonchalantly said, "I wonder what time it is..." He looked up towards the sun and pointed with his left hand, causing me to look with him. He answered, "Oh, about 5:36." I was in awe that he could be so exact but I still thought it was a guess, so I ran inside to check the clock in the kitchen. Sure enough, it read 5:36. I was amazed but my dad refused to tell me his secret. He just kept saying he just knew based on the sun, and that it was "magic", every time I asked.

I am now 24. And as I was sitting outside the other day, watching the sunset, I thought back to this, still amazed he did it. Then, it clicked. He was wearing a watch on his right wrist, which he looked at when he diverted my attention to looking at the sun. I hope to be like him one day...

tl;dr I thought my dad could tell time by looking at the sun. He looked at a watch when I wasn't looking.

I'm a bit under the weather today, with, um... 'tummy troubles'. When I got my son to his Cub Scout meeting today, I had to urgently use the restroom.

It's a thin door, and right during the part of the Scout Oath where they declare: "I will do my duty...", it happened. Very, very loudly.

They all stopped mid-sentence, and I heard my son yell: "My dad just did his doody!" To the 9-year-old mind, there's nothing better than bathroom humor. Would have been nice if the other parents weren't laughing, too, when I exited...

She told her mum that she would be teaching her troop to tie knots next week. Her mum said "Your dad used to be in scouts, he'll be able to show you the knots". It's been about 40 years since I was in the scouts so I said "knot really"

http://imgur.com/4ksqE94

They were in tents

"Beep repaired."