[OC] A chief named Battle is scouting for fertile land with his son Attle

After a long and arduous hike, Attle is tired. "How much longer dad? Are you sure its is this way?"

"Son, trust me! Now stay close to me ok!"

Finally, Battle reaches a good viewpoint, and spots an island in the distance.

He excitedly yells: "Attle! Come on, hurry up, I think I found it".

Attle catches up to his dad. "Where is it?"

Battle points to the island, and says "Seattle"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baselganglia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?

It's their Denmark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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My time in the Boy Scouts really made me a supporter of gay marriage

It’s where I learned you can tie the knot in different ways

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8675309ice
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Two bears are talking...

Bear1: β€œMan, my stomach is all tied up in knots.”

Bear2: β€œI told you not to swallow that boy-scout whole.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightHaveSharted
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?

Beep Repaired!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmbossman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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There was once a troop of boy scouts camping in the mountains

Needing to refill on water, they approached a pristine mountain stream. "Surely we don't need to boil THIS water. It's so clear!" they thought. They all got sick.

Never judge a brook by its color.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanmcook
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Some boy scouts came to our house today and asked for donations for a local community pool being built.

I went and got them a glass of water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B1gB0iM3ME
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Did you hear about the storms that hit the boy scouts at camp last night ?

They were in tents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Olaffubbuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Got told this one is scouts a long time ago. If you’re Russian when you’re walking in the bathroom and German when you come out, what are you while you’re in the bathroom?

European

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MPT1313
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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How is honey like the Boy Scout motto?

They're both bee-prepared.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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What is it called when someone rents a camp from the Boy Scouts for half a week?

A four de lease

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hfoste1380
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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My car horn wasn’t working, so I took it to a Boy Scout.

He fixed it and said, β€œBeep repaired”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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One of my boy scouts asked me, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?"

I said, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all."

So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.

I continued, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
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Why is it so easy for a boy scout to get married?

Because they know fifty ways to tie the knot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyatt850
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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A man came over the loudspeaker when the scouts camped at Sea World.

He said: β€œFor all in tents, and porpoises...”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M-comment
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What does an Asian boy scout do?

They thai knots

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BIgbluetootoo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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What is a Filipino person's favorite girl scout cookie?

Tagalong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pman6543
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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I always wanted to name my kid Thustorm, and teach him to play hockey well enough to get him scouted by Boston...

...then I could say "Thustorm's a Bruin."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asphaltdragon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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I’m going camping with the scouts this weeekend

Should be intents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickyFinn
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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I live in an old neighborhood with a 100 year old oak tree. One day every year, all the kids in the neighborhood put all their boy/girl scout badges on the tree. One day, I wonder why the kids do this. So, I called up my dad to ask him, and he said...

"Oh, it's just a badge oak."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kabirmain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
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All my friends claim that I’m the cheapest person that they have ever met.

I’m not buying it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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Thought you all would appreciate this. I have a 19yo old Cat name Scout.

I was playing a game with a friend on my PC and she started to get tangled in my cords underneath. I stopped and got her out and explained to my friend how she is going blind. And replies back with "so you mean to tell me she is no longer a scout?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chumbawamba56
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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The mailman refused to ship my Girl Scout cookies because I put up too many Dad Jokes.

Jokes on him though. I'm just gonna post Samoa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyHammerstix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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What’s blue and not heavy

Light blue

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SximplyAJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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My first job was on a ship, I was assigned to look for navigational markers. I was a Buoy Scout.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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Riddle me this: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got into the Batmobile?

ROBIN, GET IN THE CAR!!

overheard on a boy scout outing (literally 50x).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajordancpa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Today is National Boy Scout Day

... Knot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ersal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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Star wars joke

Driving back from a cub scout hike with my kid, who's in the front seat for the first time and wanting really bad to be my wookie co-pilot.

Me: hey, it's more like you're my astromech.

Kid: no I'm not!

Me: R2!?!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boter2099
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I may join the scouts just for the giggles imgur.com/bPF6uJe
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomicpete
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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β€œDad, what is a joke I can post on Reddit to get a lot of upvotes?”

β€œHm, that’s a good question, son. I think I have an idea.”

β€œOkay, dad. What is it?”

β€œYou should post a story about an old man tying balloons to his house to fly away and a Boy Scout joining him as they float down to South America.”

β€œWhy would I post that, dad?”

β€œBecause then when people like it, you’ll get a lot of Up votes.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PawneeCityCouncil
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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My daughter just came home from camp with food poisoning...

... I guess you could call her a Hurl Scout.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/actuallyboa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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How do young girl scouts navigate from place to place?

Brownian motion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbymack44212
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2017
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A piece of rope walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, but you're a rope. I can't serve you, and I'm not even sure how I could. Please leave."

A short time later, the rope comes back into the bar and asks for a beer.

The bartender, a bit annoyed at the situation, says, "Look, I told you I can't serve you. Just go away."

A few hours later, the rope comes back in again.

The bartender is getting mad now. "Look, I told you twice that I can't serve alcohol to a rope! Now get out and STAY OUT!"

Dejectedly, the rope leaves the bar and sits at the curb until a gentleman passes by. Suddenly, the piece of rope has an idea.

"Excuse me", says the rope, "but could you do me a favor?"

"Um... me?" says the puzzled gentleman. "Uh... I guess so..."

"Great! I just need you to tie a big ol' knot right in my middle."

"Well," says the gentleman. "I just so happens I was a former Eagle Scout. Here you go," and ties a perfect knot in the rope. "Will that be all?"

The rope pauses for a second and says, "Actually, could you pull apart my ends and unravel them for a bit?"

The gentleman obliges and goes on his merry way. The piece of rope, satisfied at its new appearance, heads back into the bar.

Furious, the bartender shouts, "HEY! Aren't you that same piece of rope I kicked out three times already?!?"

"No, I'm a frayed knot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/usernameshortage
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Older gentleman told this joke at a Boy Scout campfire program a while ago. Thought it would fit here.

Once upon a time, when I was a wee lad, still in Boy Scouts, I went on a camping trip to Montana with my troop. It was going to be a great time, enjoying the cool weather and scenic views of the evergreen forests. However, we did have one issue: Montana is pretty notorious for having lots of bears. We weren't scared though, since our park ranger guide told us that bears can be scared off by making lots of noise, like yelling or hitting sticks on trees. Anyway, me and one of my friends, we'll call him Frank, were out exploring in the woods. We were doing what we were told to scare off the bears, but we were still a little antsy.

After a while, we got hungry, so we decided to sit down and eat our packed lunch. We found a nice log to sit on and rest our feet, and we put down our packs and started to sit. But then, Frank let out the BIGGEST scream I've ever heard! Then, he took off running, fast as a cheetah. I thought, "Uh, oh! Frank must've seen a bear!", so I took off after him. Frank was running so fast, we must have run for miles at breakneck speed. Eventually, he started to tire, and as I got closer, I saw why Frank screamed and started running. He had sat on a bear trap, and it was stuck fast to his rear end! We had a good laugh about it, but the bear trap really did leave its mark.

It's been a long time since that happened, and Frank hasn't run in while, but I like to tell this story because it explains why Frank's only half-fast now.

(If you don't get the joke, say the last sentence out loud)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoofpint
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2016
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My dad said he figured out why he couldn't stop eating Girl Scout cookies

Because he always wants Samoa.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2015
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Why did Mr. Vacuum buy cookies from the Girl Scouts at his door?

Because he's a real sucker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokerjokerau
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2016
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Groundhog Day

Not completely sure this is a dadjoke but it sure got the same reaction. This happened about two years ago.

My wife used to work nights and on Friday and Saturday after she went to work, my then-12yo son and I would often watch a movie together. Sometimes he picked, usually it was a movie from The List, movies I liked when I was his age, things that shaped my sense of humor. I want him to be able to recognize the stupid quotes and references I throw at him. It’s his cultural education.

So we settled in for Groundhog Day. I’m a sucker for time travel shenanigans. Finished it up, he enjoyed it, and the next morning he was off to Boy Scout camp for a week.

He came back, we’re all excited to see him, and I tell him I got Groundhog Day 2 from Netflix. Threw it in the DVD player and we got about 20 minutes into before he looked at me and said β€œthis is just Groundhog Day all over again, isn’t it? There is no Groundhog Day 2.”

So worth an extra week hanging onto the disc.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shellexyz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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What do you call a Jewish Knight?

Sir Cumcised

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πŸ‘€︎ u/islandGUY__
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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My dad at boy scout camp last year

Me and a bunch of guys were sitting around playing cards while some other scouts were having ice cream. My dad grabs the sprinkles, walks up to us, and starts throwing small pinches of sprinkles at us. He proceeds to say "You guys better get your raincoats, it's sprinkling"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wootiown
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2016
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My Dad Should Have Been A Boy Scout

I don't know if this necessarily qualifies as a "dad joke" as much as a "dad move" but when I was younger, about 10 or 11, I was in the backyard with my dad on a summer afternoon. The sun was going down and I nonchalantly said, "I wonder what time it is..." He looked up towards the sun and pointed with his left hand, causing me to look with him. He answered, "Oh, about 5:36." I was in awe that he could be so exact but I still thought it was a guess, so I ran inside to check the clock in the kitchen. Sure enough, it read 5:36. I was amazed but my dad refused to tell me his secret. He just kept saying he just knew based on the sun, and that it was "magic", every time I asked.

I am now 24. And as I was sitting outside the other day, watching the sunset, I thought back to this, still amazed he did it. Then, it clicked. He was wearing a watch on his right wrist, which he looked at when he diverted my attention to looking at the sun. I hope to be like him one day...

tl;dr I thought my dad could tell time by looking at the sun. He looked at a watch when I wasn't looking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ks64165n
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
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Just got dad-joked by my Cub Scout.

I'm a bit under the weather today, with, um... 'tummy troubles'. When I got my son to his Cub Scout meeting today, I had to urgently use the restroom.

It's a thin door, and right during the part of the Scout Oath where they declare: "I will do my duty...", it happened. Very, very loudly.

They all stopped mid-sentence, and I heard my son yell: "My dad just did his doody!" To the 9-year-old mind, there's nothing better than bathroom humor. Would have been nice if the other parents weren't laughing, too, when I exited...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatorflier
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2014
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Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?

They were in tents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Olaffubbuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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What did the Boy Scout say after he fixed his dad's car horn?

"Beep repaired."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
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