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πŸ‘€︎ u/GardenChickenPen
πŸ“…︎ May 14
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Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?

It's their Denmark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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My time in the Boy Scouts really made me a supporter of gay marriage

It’s where I learned you can tie the knot in different ways

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8675309ice
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?

Beep Repaired!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmbossman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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There was once a troop of boy scouts camping in the mountains

Needing to refill on water, they approached a pristine mountain stream. "Surely we don't need to boil THIS water. It's so clear!" they thought. They all got sick.

Never judge a brook by its color.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanmcook
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Some boy scouts came to our house today and asked for donations for a local community pool being built.

I went and got them a glass of water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B1gB0iM3ME
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Did you hear about the storms that hit the boy scouts at camp last night ?

They were in tents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Olaffubbuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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How is honey like the Boy Scout motto?

They're both bee-prepared.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Got told this one is scouts a long time ago. If you’re Russian when you’re walking in the bathroom and German when you come out, what are you while you’re in the bathroom?

European

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MPT1313
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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What is it called when someone rents a camp from the Boy Scouts for half a week?

A four de lease

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hfoste1380
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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My car horn wasn’t working, so I took it to a Boy Scout.

He fixed it and said, β€œBeep repaired”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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One of my boy scouts asked me, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?"

I said, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all."

So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.

I continued, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
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Why is it so easy for a boy scout to get married?

Because they know fifty ways to tie the knot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyatt850
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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A man came over the loudspeaker when the scouts camped at Sea World.

He said: β€œFor all in tents, and porpoises...”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M-comment
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What does an Asian boy scout do?

They thai knots

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BIgbluetootoo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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What is a Filipino person's favorite girl scout cookie?

Tagalong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pman6543
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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I’m going camping with the scouts this weeekend

Should be intents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickyFinn
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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I live in an old neighborhood with a 100 year old oak tree. One day every year, all the kids in the neighborhood put all their boy/girl scout badges on the tree. One day, I wonder why the kids do this. So, I called up my dad to ask him, and he said...

"Oh, it's just a badge oak."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kabirmain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
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Thought you all would appreciate this. I have a 19yo old Cat name Scout.

I was playing a game with a friend on my PC and she started to get tangled in my cords underneath. I stopped and got her out and explained to my friend how she is going blind. And replies back with "so you mean to tell me she is no longer a scout?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chumbawamba56
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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The mailman refused to ship my Girl Scout cookies because I put up too many Dad Jokes.

Jokes on him though. I'm just gonna post Samoa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyHammerstix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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My first job was on a ship, I was assigned to look for navigational markers. I was a Buoy Scout.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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Today is National Boy Scout Day

... Knot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ersal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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I may join the scouts just for the giggles imgur.com/bPF6uJe
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomicpete
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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How do young girl scouts navigate from place to place?

Brownian motion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbymack44212
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2017
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Older gentleman told this joke at a Boy Scout campfire program a while ago. Thought it would fit here.

Once upon a time, when I was a wee lad, still in Boy Scouts, I went on a camping trip to Montana with my troop. It was going to be a great time, enjoying the cool weather and scenic views of the evergreen forests. However, we did have one issue: Montana is pretty notorious for having lots of bears. We weren't scared though, since our park ranger guide told us that bears can be scared off by making lots of noise, like yelling or hitting sticks on trees. Anyway, me and one of my friends, we'll call him Frank, were out exploring in the woods. We were doing what we were told to scare off the bears, but we were still a little antsy.

After a while, we got hungry, so we decided to sit down and eat our packed lunch. We found a nice log to sit on and rest our feet, and we put down our packs and started to sit. But then, Frank let out the BIGGEST scream I've ever heard! Then, he took off running, fast as a cheetah. I thought, "Uh, oh! Frank must've seen a bear!", so I took off after him. Frank was running so fast, we must have run for miles at breakneck speed. Eventually, he started to tire, and as I got closer, I saw why Frank screamed and started running. He had sat on a bear trap, and it was stuck fast to his rear end! We had a good laugh about it, but the bear trap really did leave its mark.

It's been a long time since that happened, and Frank hasn't run in while, but I like to tell this story because it explains why Frank's only half-fast now.

(If you don't get the joke, say the last sentence out loud)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoofpint
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2016
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My dad said he figured out why he couldn't stop eating Girl Scout cookies

Because he always wants Samoa.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2015
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Why did Mr. Vacuum buy cookies from the Girl Scouts at his door?

Because he's a real sucker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokerjokerau
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2016
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My dad at boy scout camp last year

Me and a bunch of guys were sitting around playing cards while some other scouts were having ice cream. My dad grabs the sprinkles, walks up to us, and starts throwing small pinches of sprinkles at us. He proceeds to say "You guys better get your raincoats, it's sprinkling"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wootiown
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2016
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My Dad Should Have Been A Boy Scout

I don't know if this necessarily qualifies as a "dad joke" as much as a "dad move" but when I was younger, about 10 or 11, I was in the backyard with my dad on a summer afternoon. The sun was going down and I nonchalantly said, "I wonder what time it is..." He looked up towards the sun and pointed with his left hand, causing me to look with him. He answered, "Oh, about 5:36." I was in awe that he could be so exact but I still thought it was a guess, so I ran inside to check the clock in the kitchen. Sure enough, it read 5:36. I was amazed but my dad refused to tell me his secret. He just kept saying he just knew based on the sun, and that it was "magic", every time I asked.

I am now 24. And as I was sitting outside the other day, watching the sunset, I thought back to this, still amazed he did it. Then, it clicked. He was wearing a watch on his right wrist, which he looked at when he diverted my attention to looking at the sun. I hope to be like him one day...

tl;dr I thought my dad could tell time by looking at the sun. He looked at a watch when I wasn't looking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ks64165n
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
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Just got dad-joked by my Cub Scout.

I'm a bit under the weather today, with, um... 'tummy troubles'. When I got my son to his Cub Scout meeting today, I had to urgently use the restroom.

It's a thin door, and right during the part of the Scout Oath where they declare: "I will do my duty...", it happened. Very, very loudly.

They all stopped mid-sentence, and I heard my son yell: "My dad just did his doody!" To the 9-year-old mind, there's nothing better than bathroom humor. Would have been nice if the other parents weren't laughing, too, when I exited...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatorflier
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2014
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My daughter is a scout leader

She told her mum that she would be teaching her troop to tie knots next week. Her mum said "Your dad used to be in scouts, he'll be able to show you the knots". It's been about 40 years since I was in the scouts so I said "knot really"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForeverGrumpy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2014
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My father's response to hearing there are new gluten free Girl Scout cookies

http://imgur.com/4ksqE94

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πŸ‘€︎ u/limitedfunction
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2014
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Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?

They were in tents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Olaffubbuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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What did the Boy Scout say after he fixed his dad's car horn?

"Beep repaired."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
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