My blood test result said my blood type was type A

But it was a typo.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
A doctor is reviewing test results with his patient...

Doctor: I'm afraid you've tested positive for herpes.

Patient: I knew that one of these days I'd end up with a fungal infection.

Doctor: Actually, it's viral.

Patient: Yeah, but I got it from a fun gal.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamundan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Election results

Looks like a lot of people in Georgia will be laughing their Ossoff

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r0n0j0y
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Which game was a result of a mind blowing idea?

Russian roulette

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandpa grew up during the depression, as a result, he never threw anything away.

He died in the war, holding a hand grenade.

πŸ‘︎ 871
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote to the Vice President to ask him to overturn the election results...

But that's just my own To Pence.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I was anxiously waiting to hear the result of the Worst Bad Habit Awards

It was nail-biting

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alwaysthecold
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Despite getting A-level results of A, B, B, A

it seems that no employer will take a chance on me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Trump say when he got his Covid results back?

I aced it!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Joe sure is patient when it comes to waiting for the results of the election

All I hear is Joe Biden his time till the results are finalized!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What were Donald Trump’s COVID-19 test results?

Extremely positive. The most positive, in fact. Everybody’s talking about it. It’s yuuuge. Nobody’s seen anything like it. Sleepy joe never would’ve been able to pull this off.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taylor5479
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Can I see the result of my eye test

Probably not

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yourmomspetfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My cheap noble challenged the election results.

It was a discount viscount recount.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiftyMcShift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Bugs Bunny say when the doctor asked him how he should be contacted with his test results?

WhatsApp doc.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Reddit post that oxidizes sugar and results in a nutty brown flavour?

Karmalization.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socraticfanboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The Senate majority leader refuses to acknowledge the election results.

He’s acting like a real Mitch.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Google is set to come out with a new browser that manages search results based solely on your DNA

Set to be called the Google Chromosome.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The result of an art competition...

Is a draw.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
When my kids found that the fall term would be completely online, the result was instant drama and tears.

But now that we had a few drinks, we feel better.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Picky eater results in epic dad joke from my daughter...

My middle child, who loves rice, declined the yellow rice we offered him because apparently he only likes one type of rice.

Without missing a beat my daughter (11 y/o) exclaimed, "stop being rice-ist."

My job is done, clearly there is no more I can teach her.

πŸ‘︎ 691
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Nik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Theresa May is stepping down on June 7th. As a result, the last week of May is the first week of June.
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDNL
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
We received your test results from the urologist...

Urine for a surprise!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsaSnap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I COULD tell you a top secret combination of words which result in the instant death of anyone hearing or reading them..

But then I'd have to kill you.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was terrified by the results of my blood test

But my doctor just said B positive

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmlrmlchess
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Iowa Results Justin
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/douglasses2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the result of breeding two redhead bakers?

A GingerBreed

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr0u4ker
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
We need to discuss your results sir. Please, have a seat.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dufosho
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Hospital told me my blood test results had been 'lost'

I knew I shouldn't have trusted Dr. Acula

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when it takes more than 24 hours to see any election results?

Electile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiquidSnake13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My NAD test results came back

and it turns out I'm dyslexic

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
You're fired, Jack. The test results came back, and you tested positive for Coke
πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Important lab results
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/withmoxie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Has anyone got the results from the Iowa...

Cau-chaos.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jinx99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The results of the post-mortem were in, and it was clear the man had been murdered with a plate of mild curry.

A Blunt Force Korma

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I opened a book and counted the average value of how many times the letters A to M appear in each page of the book. After getting the results, I threw them away.

They are only means to an N.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Lawyer - Doctor, as a result of your examinations, would you say the woman was pregnant?

Doctor - Yes, she was pregnant, but not as a result of my examination.

Taken from an actual court hearing

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pappajay2001
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.

... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weekend833
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Which piece of punctuation is usually a result of bowel cancer?

;

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
If Nokia takes over the Kia company, does that result in No Kia πŸ˜‚
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dalot7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Might result in in-bread kids.
πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I can't believe the results of the Australian Election this year.

Bill really got the shorten of the stick.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darthmonks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Received the results back for my blood test, and I was pleased.

Top marks: A+.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The result of Germany vs South Korea in World Cup
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Future_Banner
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report

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