My masterpiece! (Answer/pun in comments)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...

Ruff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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I asked my hiker buddy about where his last adventure was, but he couldn't answer me.

He just trailed off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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Wanted a unique name for our new pet dog and asked a friend for ideas. His answer?

Gonnit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/majintb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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My coworker asked what it’s called when you ask something but haven’t gotten an answer yet.

I told him that’s an outstanding question.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..πŸ’©
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unrealhumour
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol....

He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles...

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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No Concrete Answer Given.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyUserNameBoring
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"

The teacher said it had to be specific

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Bor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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My dad's answer to what came first, the chicken or the egg?

The one you ordered first.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?

A mooborn!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Singular1st
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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The man with the answers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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I keep asking iris why some people have dyslexia, but she won't answer.

Maybe my iPhone is just broken.

πŸ‘︎ 711
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs. So he calls the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what he’s found...

She says, β€œOh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”

The guy replies, β€œI don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”

πŸ‘︎ 445
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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I've been on edge today searching for the answer.

I usually use Chrome, but today I'm on Edge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clit_or_us
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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The answer is what happened
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πŸ‘€︎ u/binayakhero
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Violins is never the answer
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samyaksoni
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Sry I dont answer my phone on 9/11 . . .

I keep it on airplane mode.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Useless-Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!

It was a relief

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Gray_Area
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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More than math and physics can answer
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlurEyes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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The DJs at prom don't techno for an answer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imperfectshane
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Answer: Sis, boom, bah.

Question: What is the sound of an exploding sheep?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaperPlaythings
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Any time I ask my dad how he learned Braille, he refuses to give me a straight answer.

For him, it’s a touchy subject.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Confucius knew the answers to all of life’s questions.

The same cannot be said of his twin brother, Confusion.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nobida12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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A woman in the shower hears the doorbell. "It's the blind man". So she answers the door naked...

"Nice bewbs! Now where do you want me to hang the blind?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toadfinger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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I asked my daughter which state she likes most in the USA, but she didn't answer!

It's ok, Alaska again later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gitrikt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Still can’t find the answer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sudoku12
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Answer the question woman!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_Young6138
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Somebody asked me to describe my life as an amputee, but I couldn't answer.

I was stumped.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Think of a number between 5 and 15. Multiply by 2, add 3, and subtract 7 from the answer. Now close your eyes.

Dark, isn’t it?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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I asked my friends what is Potassium and was expecting an answer

But she clearly didn’t understand the question because she only said β€œK.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roofy45
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you are thinking)

Not what you are thinking.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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I asked my friend what he was doing with all the cement he bought. He didn't give me a concrete answer.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sK197666
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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My girlfriend left me because I didn't answer her when she asked me for an eleven letter synonym of "complex".

It's complicated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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I think the President has all the answers on COVID-19...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellermaverick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Ok babe, I have a question. I'm pretty sure the answer is no...

...but what is the opposite of yes?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/artvandelay440
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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motivating an answer
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombieG4mer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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My son told me to answer my phone.

But it didn't say anything.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol.

He doesn’t drink, he’s just terrible at crosswords.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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What is the best gift you can give someone? Answer: a broken drum...

You can't beat it...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoliathGr33nman
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer..."

"...but it’s worth a shot."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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A cowboy comes to his boss his ranch and says 'thats all 50 cows boss'. The boss answers 'how did you get 50? I only got 48!'

The cowboy answers 'I know, I rounded them up.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonazzzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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I want to start a trivia game show for rednecks where wrong answers cost them their hair.

I'll call it "Mullet Over"

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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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I wanted to know how to build big muscular shoulders. I tried asking a guy with big traps at the gym, but I still have no answer...

...every time I ask him, he just shrugs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mihaaal2481
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...

Ruff.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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