Renaissance Festival Puns

Dad: Yes, because of Covid.

Son: No fair!

Dad: That’s what I said.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

“Sorry, son. I’m baroque”

So we were at the local Renaissance festival on labor day and temps were getting up to the 90s. I see a guy carrying ice to one of the shops. Slyly I lean over to the wife and say: " Look honey, that guy has the coolest job."

Consider this one of my finest dad moment.

So we're talking about the Renaissance festival (Plantersville, Texas) and the stuff you can buy there since my buddy has never been. I was saying you can buy swords, armor etc and this is how the conversation goes.

Me: Dude you can buy long swords there, mail armor etc.

Chris: So can you buy female armor too?

Dad: No. You’re grounded.

Son: No fair!

Dad: That’s exactly what I said.

Son: No fair!!

Dad: Exactly what I said.

Dad: No, it’s too dangerous.

Son: No fair!

Dad: Yes, that’s exactly what I said.

Dad: No, you are grounded.

Son: No fair!

Dad: That’s exactly what I said!

Him: No fair!

Me: That’s exactly what I said.