I was in Massachusetts the other day and saw a drunk lumberjack...

He was the real Boston Lager

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kidazine
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 16 2020
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Thereโ€™s an air base in Massachusetts. Iโ€™ve flown above it a few times

Over Andover again

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 54
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/piratecheese13
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 18 2019
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Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows in the Greater Boston area recently.

There was concern that they might have died from Avian Flu. An avian pathologist examined the remains of the crows, and to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely not avian flu. The cause of death was vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the birds beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that nearly 96% of the crows had been struck by trucks, while only 4% were car impacts.

The MTA then hired an Ornithological Behavourist to determine the reason for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills vs car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat roadkill, they have a look-out crow nearby to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah!", none could shout "Truck!"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thisissami
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 13 2017
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Help me with a name!!!

Hi guys! Iโ€™m opening and Etsy shop with my sisters selling stickers (for all ages). Thereโ€™s 3 of us, we live on the south shore, Massachusetts by the beach. Looking for a punny name!!! Help me out :)

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Cwinnett33
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 23 2021
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Where does the coronavirus spread the easiest?

In Massachusetts.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/yesmodeset
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 02 2020
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In what state do you watch a priest, sneeze, and sit down?

massachusetts.

It gets worse. My kids and I have a ton of these for different states. Should it be one thread?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 24
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/blurose262
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 20 2019
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One time I caused a massive cold outbreak in school when I lived in MA

I made Massachusetts live up to its name.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/coconutcrackin
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 03 2019
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Is the Capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-vil or Loo-ee-vil?

It is pronounced Frankfort.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 89
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/marycartlizer
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 13 2015
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What do New Englanders call a crate full of dentures?

A mass of chew sets (think Massachusetts).

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/phallivore
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 01 2017
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In what state do you watch a priest, sneeze, and sit down?

massachusetts.

It gets worse. My kids and I have a ton of these for different states. Should it be one thread?

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/christianleft
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 20 2016
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My dad just sent me this one...

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 317
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lilaregenbogen
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 10 2013
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Dad just sent me this. I buried my face in my hands.

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 46
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/slidewriter
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 04 2014
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Dad just emailed me this article about a crow problem in Boston

CROW KILLS

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck." Absolutely amazing!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dysenterygary69
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 11 2015
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Just got this in an email from my dad.

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.

The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."

Amazing!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mathliability
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 27 2013
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