Dad: Yes, because of Covid.
Son: No fair!
Dad: That’s what I said.
Turns out being a free lance photographer isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.
I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.
I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.
Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.
Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.
Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.
I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.
The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.
The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.
The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.
The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.
The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.
The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.
Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.
The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.
Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.
“Sorry, son. I’m baroque”
So we were at the local Renaissance festival on labor day and temps were getting up to the 90s. I see a guy carrying ice to one of the shops. Slyly I lean over to the wife and say: " Look honey, that guy has the coolest job."
Consider this one of my finest dad moment.
Your Old Bay
Of all people, you’d think they’d appreciate a period joke
He was Diss-Bard.
Everyone was Baroque.
... or go Baroque trying
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
She's really eiducated.
I think it was stollen
- Did you hear Thor's brother performed at the drag festival?
- No, I did not. How was it?
- It was pretty low-key.
Good Tie-dings to all men!
Police intervened before anyone began luting.
(Stolen from today's Shoe comic strip... But too good not to share.)
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
And I must say, it made it rather in-tents.
Michael and jello.
There was a little town in Mexico, right across the border from Texas. They got a taste for Mayonnaise from the Cowboys crossing the border to eat. Soon they created a festival for their love of Mayonnaise. They’d have every type of mayonnaise you could think of. Folks loved it. The 10th anniversary of the festival was coming up and they decided they wanted to do something special. They heard of a place in England that made the worlds very best. They placed their order and was told it would be shipped overseas to them by boat. Because they had placed such a large order, the only ship capable of carrying it was the Titanic. The folks were waiting excitedly until the morning that the Titanic had hit a iceberg. When the news came that they wouldn’t get their shipment and to honor those lives lost, they decided to rename their festival. It became known as “Sinko De Mayo.”
It's an exercise in feudality!
He heard that the comics had the crowds cracking up
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
Donutello.
Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.
It was his Frodo-Booth.
They’re for the festive period!
It was the wurst.
I can't think of anything clever.
No-el no-L
Dad: No. You’re grounded.
Son: No fair!
Dad: That’s exactly what I said.
Son: No fair!!
Dad: Exactly what I said.
Dad: No, it’s too dangerous.
Son: No fair!
Dad: Yes, that’s exactly what I said.
Dad: No, you are grounded.
Son: No fair!
Dad: That’s exactly what I said!
Him: No fair!
Me: That’s exactly what I said.
