What is the best type of music to listen to on Christmas eve?

Wrap music.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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Christmas Eve is special because...

...it's one of the only day where tomorrow is the present day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JHolden814
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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A couple is walking in St Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve...

They feel some precipitation.

"I think it's raining" says the man.

"No, it's snowing" says the woman.

"Why don't we ask this communist officer?" Asks the man. "He's always right! Excuse me, officer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining" he says, before walking off.

The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robcap
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
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Santa doesn't need to pay for parking on Christmas Eve.

It's on the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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What did Mrs. Clause say to Santa Clause on Christmas Eve?

β€œWatch our for the rain, dear.”

-a tour guide earlier today

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnonymousCat21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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An old couple were eating dinner on christmas eve.

The old man was cheery and happy while his wife did not share his joy. The old man said; "honey why're you grumpy? It's christmas!" She said; "but deer look! All our crops are dying if this goes on we won't survive the winter. We need a christmas miracle for that." The old man looked outside and said; "Honey, look a christmas miracle!" The old lady got filled with glee and looked outside, and there was santa flying in his sleigh. She said; "But honey was wasn't hoping for santa in his sleigh, I was hoping for rain-dear!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DinoDongo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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On a cloudy night on Christmas Eve

Santa asked Rudolph to let him know if it was going to rain. Rudolph sniffed the air and affirmed that it was going to rain. Surprised, Mrs. Claus asked Santa β€œHow did Rudolph know it is going to rain?” β€œBecause” replied Santa β€œRudolph the red knows rain, dear.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tmarkcha117
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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What do the lady reindeer do on Christmas eve?

Go into town and blow a few bucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hairy_colonic_jr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2016
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While out caroling one Christmas eve, Jeff & Don were tragically killed in the middle of singing "Deck the Halls". In a strange twist, they were reincarnated as ass-less leather chaps. Jeff looked at his friend and said...

..."Don, we now are gay apparel."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbattoirOfDuty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2015
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On Christmas Eve, three eggs, named Dora, Moira, and Gloria, sit in a chicken nest...

Suddenly, Dora hatches and the mama hen says proudly, "Dora in the nest; Day One!"

Then, on Christmas, Moira hatches. The mama hen says, "Dora in the nest; Day Two! Moira in the nest; Day One!"

Dora is confused, and asks, "Well, what about our other sister?"

The mama hen explains, "Gloria In Eggshell, Sis; Day Oh."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greedantoid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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My dad decided to get clever in the cemetery this Christmas Eve...

We just visited the cemetery to visit my great grandfather's grave, and all the headstones have Christmas wreaths on them because it's a national cemetery (military). Someone asked "well I wonder who lays all these wreaths out here." My dad replied, "The Grim Wreather."

We all laughed as my mom hit him on the arm and said he was terrible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toasterwaffle427
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2015
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I met my preschool-aged niece for the first time Christmas eve

She loves turning into a "blood monster," running up to people, slapping them, and claim she's sucking our blood as she yells "I'm a blood monster! Rawr!"

Me: "Oh no, she's a hemoGOBLIN!"

I got some applause from the few adults present.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuebic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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How did Scrooge get his employees to work double time on Christmas Eve?

He made Crochet sign a quaver.

(Credit goes to a friend of mine who's been writing Christmas cracker puns)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoutgun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2012
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Christmas Eve imgur.com/gvbWCqX
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Streaplerz
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2013
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We had breakfast for Christmas Eve supper.

Nothing like some Yule Brinner to put you in the holiday spirit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/5parky
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
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Why does Santa come down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it soots him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grandmacaesar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2015
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Dad on Christmas Eve

Dad: "I went to this zoo the other day. It only had one animal, a dog. It was a shih tzu."

This one is performed best when spoken aloud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterAndOverlord
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2014
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I was playing Bingo with my girlfriend's family for Christmas Eve, and her dad always announces the numbers

Everytime B-9 comes up, he says:

"B-9... not malignant."

-____-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightsOfTheNight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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Dad is peeling potatos for Christmas Eve dinner..

..and none of the newer peelers are working for him, so he grabs the peeler he's had for years.

Dad: None of these peelers work as well as this one. There's a reason I buy and keep things like these.

Me: So you would say that one is most appealing to you?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flintose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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Dad joked my wife on Christmas Eve .

We were putting up Christmas lights outside our house and I noticed the power lead was laying across the ground in front of our front door. I told my wife we had better tape it down because it's a (dramatic pause for effect) ELF HAZARD! The groan was priceless !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mywifeh8sme
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2014
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Christmas Eve, this happened.

Uncle: Why didn't you call me back? Other uncle: Why would he call you back? Your name is John!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Tribe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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I dadjoked my sister during our Christmas Eve dinner.

We're all sitting at the table eating our meal, when my sister decides she doesn't like one of the side dishes.

Sister: Mom I don't like what you put in the stuffing this time.

Me: What, you don't like the stuff in your stuffin'?

I think it was successful because I immediately laughed at my own humor while everyone at the table just turned and stared at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/burritoreaper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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What did Adam say to Eve the day before Christmas?

Merry Christmas Eve

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cusecuse23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What did Adam say to Eve the night before Christmas?

It’s Christmas Eve. (I’ll let myself out...)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewbaccaNZ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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If Christmas Eve is the day before Christmas, then what is the day after called?

Adam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hathahuss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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What did Adam tell Eve the day before Christmas?

Its Christmas Eve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous414809
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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A couple is walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve...

A couple is walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. "I think it's raining," says the man. "No, it's snowing," replies the woman. "How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the main. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing? "Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off. The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AHapppyPandaBear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
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Happy Christmas Eve-

Eve!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
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