Today marks the 77th anniversary that my grandfather was responsible for bringing down 4 German bombers in one day during the war
He was the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had
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︎ Mar 02 2021
My wife is angry. Last night for my anniversary, I left the kids, snuck out with my ex-girlfriend, and we hooked up in the back seat like we used to.
She hates when I call her that.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
Itβs my 1-year Reddit anniversary
Getting karma should be easy as cake
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︎ Feb 28 2021
It's my 1-year Reddit anniversary
Getting karma should be easy as cake
Edit: Itβs a giant cake day celebration! Happy cake day everyone!!
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︎ Jun 28 2020
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someoneβs getting LED tonight. ;)
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︎ Jan 04 2021
I was recording my wifeβs speech at her parentsβ 50th wedding anniversary, but my battery died halfway through.
Now Iβll never hear the end of it.
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︎ Sep 10 2020
For my anniversary, 12 women named Rose showed up while we were having breakfast. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Screamed my wife.
"Honey, I got you a bouquet."
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︎ Nov 20 2020
My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm!
Yep. It's our bison-tennial.
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︎ Jan 25 2020
Son: "Hey Dad, Happy 25th Anniversary. Jeez! Almost all my friend's parents are divorced. What did you have to do to stay married for this long?"
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︎ Aug 15 2020
This tin foil rose my wife made me for our 10 year βtinβ anniversary.
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︎ Oct 01 2019
"Grandpa, what are you and Grandma going to do tonight for your anniversary?"
Well, there we're getting into kind of a grey area....
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︎ May 14 2020
Itβs our wedding anniversary today. My wife and I have been happily married for two years now.
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︎ Sep 24 2019
My wife bought me flowers for our anniversary
She really rose to the occasion
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︎ Mar 29 2020
Anniversary gift from my wife
I'm not into knives but she got me an engraved benchmark 9160sbk auto triage. I told her it was pointless
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︎ Jan 13 2020
I asked my wife if she'd like a new Diamond Ring to celebrate our Anniversary
"Nothing would make me happier!" She replied
- So I got her nothing
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︎ Sep 26 2019
Why am I excited for my wedding anniversary trip?
It's going to be a trip of a wifetime...
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︎ Dec 11 2019
Me: Dad, are you excited for the 50th anniversary of the lunar landing today???
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︎ Jul 20 2019
What did the physicist give his wife for their anniversary?
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︎ Jun 27 2019
What did Kurt GΓΆdel's wife say to him on their anniversary?
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︎ Nov 07 2019
For their 50th anniversary, my parents went on vacation, but unfortunately, my dad got really ill. When they got back, I asked, "Dad, what made you so sick in Hawaii?" He laughed and said...
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︎ Sep 01 2019
My girlfriend is a geologist. For our anniversary I got got her a limestone jewelry box.
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︎ Apr 21 2019
It's the tenth Anniversary of Hitler's favorite day...
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︎ Sep 09 2019
I had to return the glasses I bought as an anniversary present for my wife.
She still can't see things my way
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︎ Aug 12 2019
What did the Canadian deer say to her boyfriend when he forgot their anniversary?
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︎ Jun 17 2019
My wife asked if I was packed for our anniversary getaway.
I told her the luggage was ready but Iβm still packing.
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︎ Aug 25 2019
I bought my missus an egg-beater for our wedding anniversary.
I knew she wanted me to whisk her away.
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︎ Jan 24 2019
In honor of the 10 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, Kraft foods has krafted up a new salad dressing.
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︎ Jun 25 2019
for our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a small picture of me inside a pistachio
but that's just me in a nutshell.
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︎ Apr 09 2018
I asked my wife to cook me a Japanese meal for our anniversary
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︎ Jul 29 2018
A man walks into a bar looking depressed. Bar tender asks whats wrong? Man says its his 50th wedding anniversary. And that when he was a teenager he got his girl friend pregnant. And to make it worse the father was a Judge and he told me if i did'nt marry his daughter i would go to Jail for 50 year
Today I could be a free man !
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︎ Dec 23 2018
TIL: The Lincoln penny debuted on the Anniversary of his birth...
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︎ Mar 12 2019
Ornament I got for my wife on our 10th anniversary
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︎ Jan 02 2015
I'm not giving my wife an anniversary gift this year. Last year I got her an expensive gift and she didn't use it !!
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︎ Nov 12 2018
Girlfriend on Anniversary: "Wow, the card you got me feels heavy!"
Me: "It is carrying the weight of my emotions."
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︎ Sep 26 2018
My wife and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary...
by doing something decade-ent
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︎ Mar 01 2018
Dads anniversary joke
My folks have been married 29 years.
Dad looks at me last night and says
If I killed her when I married her, Id be out by now.
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︎ Jul 30 2013
For our wedding anniversary I told my wife I got her a cardigan. After she opened her card she asked where it was...
I pointed to the card and said "I got you a card again"
How is she still with me? I actually got her a trip Vegas.
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︎ May 12 2017
Average Anniversary
Me: Do you know what tomorrow is?
Wife: The day we got married on.
Me: We got married on a Saturday not a Tuesday.
Wife: Fine, the date we got married on.
Me: It was a wedding, not a date.
Wife: You know what I mean!
Me: Sorry honey, I don't know what you average.
Edit: Line breaks.
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︎ May 23 2017
My dad just gave my mom a wristwatch for their anniversary
Me; Mom your love is worth a watch
Dad; You should take some time thinking about that
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︎ Oct 27 2015
I'd been thinking about buying a couple of cattle to put in my fathers farm. I asked my wife if she'd be on with receiving a cow for our wedding anniversary.
She said she would be moooov'd.
I just got dad joked by my wife. :)
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︎ Feb 26 2015
Doctor Who Dad Joke [50th anniversary spoiler]
Doctor: You've got a name?
Girl: Yes
Doctor: Good, I've always wanted to meet someone called "Yes"
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︎ Nov 23 2013
At a 60th Wedding Anniversary Reception when...
One of the distant aunts is walking around to each table taking pictures with her iPad for the couple the reception is for. She asks:
"They would like a picture of each table" father in law chimes in...
"Just the table or could I be in it too?" She laughs and holds up the iPad for the picture. Father in law sounds out "Great, now she's reading her tablet instead of taking pictures"
Classic.
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︎ Jun 21 2014
Got us all at my parents anniversary dinner.
My mom made low country boil (crab legs, shrimp, sausage, potatoes, onions, corn all in the same pot. amazing) and when she set the table she set down a few nut crackers for the crab legs.
Mom: We don't have enough so these are for sharin'
Dad: There is no one named Sharron here so I'll use them.
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︎ Jul 06 2015
Itβs my 3 year Reddit anniversary!
Getting karma should be as easy as cake.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parentsβ 50th wedding anniversary.
Now Iβm never going to hear the end of it.
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︎ Aug 07 2019
It's our wedding anniversary today. My wife and I have been happily married for two years now.
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︎ Sep 24 2019
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