At this year's graduation cermony @ UCLA, James Hetfield will receive the Jim Henson memorial degree...

...he will finally get his Masters of Puppets. 🀘

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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What did the Lincoln Memorial say when it got pepper in its nose?

STACHOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I was shocked to see the Memorial Day pool party videos from the south, but I can't really say I blame them...

Because Missouri loves company.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spiky3420
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Me: When I went to buy hotdogs on Memorial Day weekend they were all gone except these little ones.

My wife: Guess it was a Memorial Day for hotdogs then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsaSnap
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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You ever notice how George Washington only got a big stick, and everyone else got huge memorials? I guess that's why they call it the Washington Post.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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A number of memorial plates have been vandalised recently...

The culprit, a crazed 34 year old Dentist name Michael. When asked why he did it said: "I just really hate plaque."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/colour_of_cows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Dad got the car's AC fixed after Memorial Day

He came back singing "Freon isn't Free."

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2016
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If alcohol can damage your short term memory

Imagine the damage alcohol can do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nav_the_gamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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I have very fond memories of my dad arriving home, wearing his white t-shirt, black leather jacket, giving me the thumbs up, and saying 'Ayyyy'...

...happy days!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kublakhan1977
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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This brings back memories
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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I've often wondered, are people with photographic memories born with that ability..

..or does it just take time to develop ?

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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The earliest memory I have is going to the doctor with my dad to get my eyes checked.

Things before that is a blur.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes

It Taurus apart

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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She had a photographic memory,

but never developed it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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This really brings back old memories
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dank_memes-420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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How much memory does it take to store a joke ?

1 Gigglebyte.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandpa...

Until my mom hid the urn from me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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HOW DOES A FILE CONSUME MEMORY,IN TERA-BITES😁
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manlybutterly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What did one memory buffer say to the other memory buffer as it was running away...

.... cache me if you can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hasntbeenmydecade
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Did you know that too much sex can cause memory loss??

I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 12:22 pm on September 23rd of last year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaCrimsonChinn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself....

This takes me back.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.

It's in A flat minor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPeteO
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Card memory
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/donncadh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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When I was young, my fairy godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory

I forget my response

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lez566
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Wanna hear a joke about memory?

... Sorry, I forgot it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SavageBoyma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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It's kinda annoying how terrible Italian bread's memory is

I mean, you remember him, but he Foccacia

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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Sweet memories
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fahim16
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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I have a lot of fond memories of cooking venison with my father when I was younger.

To this day, venison is deer to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ptshoink
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I have a perfect memory.

I honestly can’t remember a single time I’ve ever forgotten anything.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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My memory is great

I can’t remember the last time I forgot something.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nonkel_Jef
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Eric refunded his memory extraction service

It wasn't what he had in mind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pingi2015
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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In memory of my Italian grandfather, i started a restaurant.

It's called Pasta Way!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayanR666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What is that 1 memory that the computer will never forget?

His school EEPROM.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XXXTYLING
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.

It was here a minute ago.

πŸ‘︎ 456
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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I’d tell you a joke about memory loss but..

I forgot.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/face-spunk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Why can't shellfish play video games?

They can't gain the mussel memory

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lorelei178
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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I burst into the kitchen and shouted at my wife, "Honey! Whatever you do, do NOT let them take your temperature on your forehead when you go into the supermarket!! It erases your memory!! I went in for bread and milk like you asked..."

"...and came out with two cases of beer!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Doctor: You have a disease that causes memory loss.

Me: Is it contagious?

Doctor: Is what contagious?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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I put the memory device with the class assignment into the computer. Unfortunately, I chose the wrong one and porn started showing.

Oooops. Wrong USB.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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In 2017 I didn't jog. In 2018 I didn't jog. In 2019 I didn't jog. In 2020 I still haven't jogged.

This is a running joke.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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I was playing the song "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" by the Allman Brothers for my ten year old daughter. She asked me how long ago I first heard the song. When I told her I heard it when it was first released, 50 years ago, She said,

"Was it called "In Honor of Elizabeth Reed" back then?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marycartlizer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that having too much sex causes memory loss?

Or at least that what page 137 figure II part B of my middle school science textbook said.

πŸ‘︎ 190
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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Heard about the Texan with memory loss?

He ALAMO'st forgot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlankenSonja
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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My wife's coming back from holiday tomorrow....

Does anyone know how to delete the memory from my memory foam mattress?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I have problems with two things: 1: with my short-term memory...

And 2: with my short-term memory

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squidboy2002
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Are people born with a photographic memory?

Or does it take time to develop?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YesImThatJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
If alcohol can damage your short term memory

Just think what alcohol can do!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Are people born with photographic memories...

....Or do they take a while to develop?

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I have a photographic memory

It's just not developed yet

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datanksta
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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