At this year's graduation cermony @ UCLA, James Hetfield will receive the Jim Henson memorial degree...
...he will finally get his Masters of Puppets. 🤘
What did the Lincoln Memorial say when it got pepper in its nose?
I was shocked to see the Memorial Day pool party videos from the south, but I can't really say I blame them...
Because Missouri loves company.
Me: When I went to buy hotdogs on Memorial Day weekend they were all gone except these little ones.
My wife: Guess it was a Memorial Day for hotdogs then.
You ever notice how George Washington only got a big stick, and everyone else got huge memorials? I guess that's why they call it the Washington Post.
A number of memorial plates have been vandalised recently...
The culprit, a crazed 34 year old Dentist name Michael. When asked why he did it said: "I just really hate plaque."
Dad got the car's AC fixed after Memorial Day
He came back singing "Freon isn't Free."
If alcohol can damage your short term memory
Imagine the damage alcohol can do.
I have very fond memories of my dad arriving home, wearing his white t-shirt, black leather jacket, giving me the thumbs up, and saying 'Ayyyy'...
This brings back memories
I've often wondered, are people with photographic memories born with that ability..
..or does it just take time to develop ?
The earliest memory I have is going to the doctor with my dad to get my eyes checked.
Things before that is a blur.
My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes
She had a photographic memory,
This really brings back old memories
How much memory does it take to store a joke ?
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandpa...
Until my mom hid the urn from me.
HOW DOES A FILE CONSUME MEMORY,IN TERA-BITES😁
What did one memory buffer say to the other memory buffer as it was running away...
.... cache me if you can.
Did you know that too much sex can cause memory loss??
I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 12:22 pm on September 23rd of last year.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself....
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.
When I was young, my fairy godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory
Wanna hear a joke about memory?
It's kinda annoying how terrible Italian bread's memory is
I mean, you remember him, but he Foccacia
I have a lot of fond memories of cooking venison with my father when I was younger.
To this day, venison is deer to me.
I have a perfect memory.
I honestly can’t remember a single time I’ve ever forgotten anything.
My memory is great
I can’t remember the last time I forgot something.
Eric refunded his memory extraction service
It wasn't what he had in mind
In memory of my Italian grandfather, i started a restaurant.
What is that 1 memory that the computer will never forget?
I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
I’d tell you a joke about memory loss but..
Why can't shellfish play video games?
They can't gain the mussel memory
I burst into the kitchen and shouted at my wife, "Honey! Whatever you do, do NOT let them take your temperature on your forehead when you go into the supermarket!! It erases your memory!! I went in for bread and milk like you asked..."
"...and came out with two cases of beer!!!"
Doctor: You have a disease that causes memory loss.
Me: Is it contagious?
Doctor: Is what contagious?
I put the memory device with the class assignment into the computer. Unfortunately, I chose the wrong one and porn started showing.
In 2017 I didn't jog. In 2018 I didn't jog. In 2019 I didn't jog. In 2020 I still haven't jogged.
I was playing the song "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" by the Allman Brothers for my ten year old daughter. She asked me how long ago I first heard the song. When I told her I heard it when it was first released, 50 years ago, She said,
"Was it called "In Honor of Elizabeth Reed" back then?
Did you know that having too much sex causes memory loss?
Or at least that what page 137 figure II part B of my middle school science textbook said.
Heard about the Texan with memory loss?
My wife's coming back from holiday tomorrow....
Does anyone know how to delete the memory from my memory foam mattress?
I have problems with two things: 1: with my short-term memory...
And 2: with my short-term memory
Are people born with a photographic memory?
Or does it take time to develop?
If alcohol can damage your short term memory
Just think what alcohol can do!
Are people born with photographic memories...
....Or do they take a while to develop?
I have a photographic memory
It's just not developed yet
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