The devil was sold a bunch of leaky fountain pens when visiting Turku, which used to be the capital of Finland.

Now Hell's inky

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👤︎ u/vabune
📅︎ Feb 04
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What do you get if you cross a tall green monster with a fountain pen?

The Inkredible Hulk.

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👤︎ u/2donutkid2
📅︎ Feb 02
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I threw my coin into the wishing fountain and wished for lots of coins...

Turns out wishes just don't come true, sometimes you have to get your feet wet

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👤︎ u/linkkoh
📅︎ Sep 19 2019
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"You can't drink from that fountain you'll get sick"

"Says W.H.O.?"

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👤︎ u/sotkara
📅︎ Aug 13 2019
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Was talking to my wife about her job selling fountain pens...

And I said all I know about fountain pens is the last time I drank from one I got sick.

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👤︎ u/pb49er
📅︎ May 30 2019
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I found the Fountain of Youth and sat in it for early 5 hours!

I don't think it works though... I didn't get any younger. In fact, I got more wrinkly!

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👤︎ u/Kickballer
📅︎ Apr 29 2019
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A dear friend of mine passed away recently. He asked that we spread his cremated ashes in the big fountain in the town square.

He will be mist.

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📅︎ Mar 08 2019
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What's a fountain after an angel is removed?

A sans seraph font.

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👤︎ u/DrunkenTree
📅︎ Dec 18 2018
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Fountain of Youth jokes never get old
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📅︎ Jun 25 2018
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What do yell at someone drinking from the nozzle of a fountain?

WATER YOU DOING

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👤︎ u/SilentFinch
📅︎ Nov 14 2018
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Did you know that you can't order fountain drinks larger than 8 ounces in St. Paul?

It's mini soda law.

Bonus joke: where are the trees in Minnesota?

Between da twos and da fours.

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👤︎ u/evanthesquirrel
📅︎ Jun 09 2018
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I found the fountain of youth.

It was outside the bathrooms at the mall, right next to the one for adults.

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👤︎ u/ChaoticFather
📅︎ Apr 19 2018
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After years of searching I finally discovered the Fountain of Doubt.

I'm not sure if it works or not.

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👤︎ u/brother_p
📅︎ Feb 21 2018
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👤︎ u/izak1399
📅︎ Oct 01 2015
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"Hey Dad, have you seen any water fountains around? I'm thirsty."

#***"HI THIRSTY, I'M FRIDAY! COME ON OVER SATURDAY AND WE'LL HAVE A SUNDAE!!"***

Come on Dad, you said it every fucking time and I didn't even get this one until I was like 14. All I wanted was some water, but no, you've gotta be an asshole about it.

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👤︎ u/Ancel3
📅︎ Jul 18 2015
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What's the difference between an archaeologist and an ichthyologist ?

One mucks around in fountains....

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👤︎ u/MagicGuy66
📅︎ Jun 06
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lil wayne
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👤︎ u/liltrigger
📅︎ Jan 10 2019
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I have a pen that can write underwater

It can write other words too

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👤︎ u/Yeetimus-
📅︎ Jun 03 2019
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a short punny story

Todd was a typical nerdy high schooler, and like most guys, he had a crush on Mary. One day, he got the courage to ask Mary to prom. To his surprise, she said yes. On the day of the prom, Todd had to excuse himself to get a drink. He went to the water fountain, but there was a long line. He then went to the lemonade table, but there was a long line there also. So he turned toward the fruit punch table...

and there was no punchline

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👤︎ u/ToxianLeader
📅︎ Mar 14 2019
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I know a lot about decorative park statues.

I'm just a fountain of knowledge.

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📅︎ Mar 29 2019
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Have you seen the new pen that writes underwater, upside down and in outer space?

It writes lots of other words too.

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👤︎ u/easy_being_green
📅︎ Dec 11 2014
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I went to a tattoo parlour and told the guy I wanted a tattoo of a pen.

He said, "Permanent?"

I said, "No, fountain."

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Aug 13 2018
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Here's a fun dad prank.

When my dad was in high school, he was the manager at a small grocery store. He had a bunch of pranks he would play on newcomers, but this was by far the best one. He would have new people take those 5 gallon water jugs and have them "refill" the water fountains by pouring them into the water fountain drains. While he said most didn't do it, some of the less intelligent people did. He joked about this to me once, and we die of laughter talking about it to this day.

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👤︎ u/pwnkaikz
📅︎ Nov 04 2017
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Why won't I ever make a water feature on top of a hill where a lot of baby horses are buried?

My mom taught me to never make fountains out of foal hills

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👤︎ u/geckothegeek42
📅︎ Apr 05 2017
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I tried really hard to make my favorite notebook into a beautiful writing implement...

...but I was told I shouldn't make a fountain out of a Moleskine.

(crossposted to /r/fountainpens)

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📅︎ Jul 22 2014
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Overheard this while picking up lunch today...

Bought some pizza slices and while I was filling up my drink from the soda fountain, there was a family of four talking about, of all things, medical professions. The daughter at the table said she thought a proctologist was basically a pervert since they'd be focused on butts all day every day.

The mom explained that you wouldn't call a heart surgeon who uses tools to literally crack open a person's chest cavity and muck around with things a serial killer, so why would you call a doctor who specializes in proctology a pervert?

The dad then chimed in "No that's not right... a serial killer is someone who uses Captain Crunch to murder another person!"

Silence at the table, and the daughter groaned rather loudly. I happened to make eye contact with the dad and just smirked and nodded, which made him beam, and walked out the door to hear him say "Right? Right guys?"

Well done, sir.

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👤︎ u/redditaccount314
📅︎ Jan 18 2015
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Out of Order

I was walking through a hall with my boyfriend when we passed a drinking fountain. I was thirsty so I tried to take a drink but nothing came out. I then noticed a sign on it that said "out of order."

My boyfriend commented "it shouldn't be out of water, the sign says it's only out of order!"

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👤︎ u/Preebos
📅︎ Nov 05 2014
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Working at a daycare is a gold mine.

I was working with the 4 yearolds with one of my supervisors. We we're building puzzles when one of the kids walks up to my supervisor.

Kid 1: (Insert supervisor name), I'm thirsty.

Supervisor: Hello Thirsty.

Kid 2: No I think he wants a drink from the water fountain.

Supervisor: Oh is that what Thirsty wants?

Kid 2: Yeah.

Supervisor: Ok go get a drink Thirsty.

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👤︎ u/zyulls13
📅︎ Dec 12 2013
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Chilly Dogs

My brother and I were driving one day with our dad on a really hot day, it was over 100 degrees. When we drive past a fountain that had two dogs playing in it. He said, "Those dogs were hot dogs and now they're chilly dogs".

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👤︎ u/Iamnotsmart
📅︎ Sep 19 2013
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Teacherdad Material

Student: "Can I go to the bathroom and get a drink?"

Teacherdad: "Gross. Just go to the water fountain."

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👤︎ u/martimeryard
📅︎ Dec 22 2013
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