My wife is angry. Last night for my anniversary, I left the kids, snuck out with my ex-girlfriend, and we hooked up in the back seat like we used to.
She hates when I call her that.
Today marks the 77th anniversary that my grandfather was responsible for bringing down 4 German bombers in one day during the war
He was the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had
It’s my 1-year Reddit anniversary
Getting karma should be easy as cake
It's my 1-year Reddit anniversary
Getting karma should be easy as cake
Edit: It’s a giant cake day celebration! Happy cake day everyone!!
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight. ;)
I was recording my wife’s speech at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, but my battery died halfway through.
Now I’ll never hear the end of it.
My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm!
Yep. It's our bison-tennial.
Son: "Hey Dad, Happy 25th Anniversary. Jeez! Almost all my friend's parents are divorced. What did you have to do to stay married for this long?"
This tin foil rose my wife made me for our 10 year “tin” anniversary.
"Grandpa, what are you and Grandma going to do tonight for your anniversary?"
Well, there we're getting into kind of a grey area....
It’s our wedding anniversary today. My wife and I have been happily married for two years now.
My wife bought me flowers for our anniversary
She really rose to the occasion
Anniversary gift from my wife
I'm not into knives but she got me an engraved benchmark 9160sbk auto triage. I told her it was pointless
I asked my wife if she'd like a new Diamond Ring to celebrate our Anniversary
"Nothing would make me happier!" She replied
- So I got her nothing
On your 10th anniversary, how do you wish your partner Happy Anniversary?
You just say HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Why am I excited for my wedding anniversary trip?
It's going to be a trip of a wifetime...
Me: Dad, are you excited for the 50th anniversary of the lunar landing today???
What did the physicist give his wife for their anniversary?
What did Kurt Gödel's wife say to him on their anniversary?
For their 50th anniversary, my parents went on vacation, but unfortunately, my dad got really ill. When they got back, I asked, "Dad, what made you so sick in Hawaii?" He laughed and said...
My girlfriend is a geologist. For our anniversary I got got her a limestone jewelry box.
It's the tenth Anniversary of Hitler's favorite day...
I had to return the glasses I bought as an anniversary present for my wife.
She still can't see things my way
What did the Canadian deer say to her boyfriend when he forgot their anniversary?
My wife asked if I was packed for our anniversary getaway.
I told her the luggage was ready but I’m still packing.
I bought my missus an egg-beater for our wedding anniversary.
I knew she wanted me to whisk her away.
In honor of the 10 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, Kraft foods has krafted up a new salad dressing.
for our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a small picture of me inside a pistachio
but that's just me in a nutshell.
I asked my wife to cook me a Japanese meal for our anniversary
A man walks into a bar looking depressed. Bar tender asks whats wrong? Man says its his 50th wedding anniversary. And that when he was a teenager he got his girl friend pregnant. And to make it worse the father was a Judge and he told me if i did'nt marry his daughter i would go to Jail for 50 year
Today I could be a free man !
TIL: The Lincoln penny debuted on the Anniversary of his birth...
Ornament I got for my wife on our 10th anniversary
I'm not giving my wife an anniversary gift this year. Last year I got her an expensive gift and she didn't use it !!
Girlfriend on Anniversary: "Wow, the card you got me feels heavy!"
Me: "It is carrying the weight of my emotions."
My wife and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary...
by doing something decade-ent
Dads anniversary joke
My folks have been married 29 years.
Dad looks at me last night and says
If I killed her when I married her, Id be out by now.
For our wedding anniversary I told my wife I got her a cardigan. After she opened her card she asked where it was...
I pointed to the card and said "I got you a card again"
How is she still with me? I actually got her a trip Vegas.
My dad just gave my mom a wristwatch for their anniversary
Me; Mom your love is worth a watch
Dad; You should take some time thinking about that
I'd been thinking about buying a couple of cattle to put in my fathers farm. I asked my wife if she'd be on with receiving a cow for our wedding anniversary.
She said she would be moooov'd.
I just got dad joked by my wife. :)
Doctor Who Dad Joke [50th anniversary spoiler]
Doctor: You've got a name?
Girl: Yes
Doctor: Good, I've always wanted to meet someone called "Yes"
At a 60th Wedding Anniversary Reception when...
One of the distant aunts is walking around to each table taking pictures with her iPad for the couple the reception is for. She asks:
"They would like a picture of each table" father in law chimes in...
"Just the table or could I be in it too?" She laughs and holds up the iPad for the picture. Father in law sounds out "Great, now she's reading her tablet instead of taking pictures"
Classic.
Got us all at my parents anniversary dinner.
My mom made low country boil (crab legs, shrimp, sausage, potatoes, onions, corn all in the same pot. amazing) and when she set the table she set down a few nut crackers for the crab legs.
Mom: We don't have enough so these are for sharin'
Dad: There is no one named Sharron here so I'll use them.
It’s my 3 year Reddit anniversary!
Getting karma should be as easy as cake.
My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.
Now I’m never going to hear the end of it.
It's our wedding anniversary today. My wife and I have been happily married for two years now.
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