Hi, could someone help me out with puns for the months of the year? January was Jan-new-ary, February was Feb-boo-ary, etc.
Just April would be great and if possible, the rest of the year
It was from ancient Greece
Because they don't have pockets.
The woman simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
..that I can pull it off.
They make up everything.
I was proud.
Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.
You Dont Know How It Peels
I'm so proud.
He’s still making fun of me...
I can't tell you how proud that makes me.
Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:
Chicken nuggets PB&Js (in the shape of guitars) Veggie tray Fruit tray Water & juice
I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know 😂 Help me out if you can think of any more!
Because its days are numbered
I said "I don't know... it's hard to keep track"
But it will be LIVE STREAMED.
Daughter: Knock knock
Me: Who’s there?
Me: Europe who?
Daughter: No I’m not!
Proud papa right now
She just picked up the squeeze ketchup and said, "I only need one fart of ketchup." She gives the bottle a single squeeze and gets her "one fart."
I was walking the other day with my son when he noticed a bee. I told him to leave it alone, to which he replied, "I'll be careful. Get it?! BEE!"
I was beginning to lose hope that he wasn't ever going to understand or appreciate puns! He's in the club now!
It was as big as the last two combined!
Smells like teen spirit
Due to extreme weather, this years coffee crop will be very difficult to grind. Experts fear there may be trouble brewing.
I was involved in very organized crime
The lady at the vet: “what’s his name?”
Me: “The shelter told me his name is Toby”
Her: “Well, what does he think his name is?”
Me: “........ Kunte Kinte”
She didn’t get it. Once in a lifetime joke wasted.
...and then we met.
This was a very irrational decision
It was coincidentally our 30th wedding anniversary.
Because it was ground.
"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"
"How did you figure that out."
"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!
8yo: "There, I ate!"
Me [points at 9yo]: "Good job! She nine."
9yo: "Ugh. Because I'm nine and you're eight. You ate. I nine?"
... but ten years in, his career lies in ruins.
It was his frequent sea
The man, tearing up, takes his wife's hand and says, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm going to be a dad."
How I miss Rodney
He just can't part with it.
Turns out, they were Wright.
I told him ok, I’d get him an X and a Y... my 12 year old cracked up, the 8 year old was confused. I still look at it as a win.
It was Ancient Grease.