Holiday and end of last year pun, recycled
Ideas for months of the year puns?
Hi, could someone help me out with puns for the months of the year? January was Jan-new-ary, February was Feb-boo-ary, etc.
Just April would be great and if possible, the rest of the year
What is an Air Fryer's favorite food? (Courtesy of my 6 year old)
Air-vrything.
I'm so proud.
My 6 year old just told me this joke... What's stronger than a fortune cookie?
I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
This year's Fibonacci Convention was a great success.
It was as big as the last two combined!
My 5 year old got me with this one:
5yo: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
5yo: To get to the dummy's house.
Me:...
5yo:...
Me:...
5yo: Knock Knock.
Me: Who's there?
5yo: The chicken.
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
How do you buy a cat, if the pet store is closed.( Made by my 5 year old niece)
You buy it from the cat-alogue
The name of next year is literally
A darker one my 10 year old dropped on me... (possibly triggering)
She could see I was stressed out with work and she and I have a very dark sense of humour.
Hey Dad, you ok?
Yeah li'l beat just over worker and tired and stressed about the holidays.
"hey dad, lots of men struggle with mental health don't worry about it too much, Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain daughters turned out just fine."
From my 3yo: what do you call a 100-year-old ant?
It’s my 3 year Reddit anniversary!
Getting karma should be as easy as cake.
I really struggled with 2020 all year. Sadly, at the end of it...
my new years resolution is
How many seconds are there in a year.
12 second
Edit1: Since so many of you guys are confused, it's like January second, February second and so on.
Edit2: No 22nd doesn't count.
My wife spent years perfecting blue box macaroni and cheese.
It took a long time, but she finally honed her Kraft.
Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?
... when it is full groan!
(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)
I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.
Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'
My wife ran over someone , and was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment.
She got out after 5 years and I had to serve the remaining 5.
We always finish each others sentences.
What's orange and sounds like a Parrot? (courtesy of a 9 year old)
From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"
"I don't know, bud, what?"
"Your legs."
Well done, kid.
I've been reading so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently, that I've made a firm new year's resolution..
What are your resolution going to be for the new year?
Still on 1080p? or upgraded to 4k already?
2020 and 2021 were fighting for the "Worst Year Ever" award.
Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said “Kit-Kats are good but these are butter.”
Remember to lift your left leg up off the ground during the New Years countdown
So you can start the New Year off on the right foot
Edit: Thanks for the silver
Ordering pizza with my 3 year old.
Me: do you want ranch or blue cheese?
3yr old: ranch is for horses
Little guy Caught me off guard lol
I tried renting a bounce house yesterday. The cost was twice as much as last year...
That’s inflation for you!
This year, 2021, I want more dough than a baker
9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....
I've completed 4 years of being single today.
Or Can I say I graduated my Bachelor's Degree?
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
Christmas is getting a little punny around here this year
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."
"Look at what kids your age make in China!"
Today I got out-dad joked by a 2 year old
I asked my daughter if she was hungry and she said "No, I'm Charlotte".
I'm so proud of her, but also I had been waiting to do the whole hi hungry, I'm dad bit to her when I thought she was old enough to get it. Now I feel like I've missed that window
From my 11 year old daughter. Did you hear the one about the man with the broken hearing aids?
We've fought against 2020 all year
But in the end I guess 2021
I never remember what people tell me at New Year's parties
It goes in one year and out the other.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
Did you hear that less toys have been made this year in Santa’s workshop?
Many of his workers had to Elf Isolate.
It's the most wonderful thyme of the year...
My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.
My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.
My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.
4yo: "I like your shirt mama!
Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?
4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"
My 9 year old told me this....What do you get when you cross a pig and an oven ??
Happy New Year fellow dad jokesters! For 2021, I’m going to turn all of my problems into opportunities.
Starting with my severe drinking opportunity
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.
He just can't part with it.
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