Holiday and end of last year pun, recycled
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perkypaul
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Ideas for months of the year puns?

Hi, could someone help me out with puns for the months of the year? January was Jan-new-ary, February was Feb-boo-ary, etc.

Just April would be great and if possible, the rest of the year

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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What is an Air Fryer's favorite food? (Courtesy of my 6 year old)

Air-vrything.

I'm so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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My 6 year old just told me this joke... What's stronger than a fortune cookie?

A hammer.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeenyus47
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...

I'm eggnogstic

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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This year's Fibonacci Convention was a great success.

It was as big as the last two combined!

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdb12345
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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My 5 year old got me with this one:

5yo: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?

5yo: To get to the dummy's house.

Me:...

5yo:...

Me:...

5yo: Knock Knock.

Me: Who's there?

5yo: The chicken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wellimnotdeadyet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.

He just can't part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeltaOne211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...

Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.

I was so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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How do you buy a cat, if the pet store is closed.( Made by my 5 year old niece)

You buy it from the cat-alogue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EviL-FeaR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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The name of next year is literally

2020 won

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegitTurboDude
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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A darker one my 10 year old dropped on me... (possibly triggering)

She could see I was stressed out with work and she and I have a very dark sense of humour.

Hey Dad, you ok?

Yeah li'l beat just over worker and tired and stressed about the holidays.

"hey dad, lots of men struggle with mental health don't worry about it too much, Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain daughters turned out just fine."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogalporn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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From my 3yo: what do you call a 100-year-old ant?

Antique

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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It’s my 3 year Reddit anniversary!

Getting karma should be as easy as cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben071
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I really struggled with 2020 all year. Sadly, at the end of it...

2021

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gameronomist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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my new years resolution is

1280 x 768

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sickolelele
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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How many seconds are there in a year.

12 second

Edit1: Since so many of you guys are confused, it's like January second, February second and so on.

Edit2: No 22nd doesn't count.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsanandhere
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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My wife spent years perfecting blue box macaroni and cheese.

It took a long time, but she finally honed her Kraft.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?

... when it is full groan!

(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Row199
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.

Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben716
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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My wife ran over someone , and was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment.

She got out after 5 years and I had to serve the remaining 5.

We always finish each others sentences.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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What's orange and sounds like a Parrot? (courtesy of a 9 year old)

A carrot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notlikelyevil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"

"I don't know, bud, what?"

"Your legs."

Well done, kid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papagayo_blanco
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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I've been reading so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently, that I've made a firm new year's resolution..

..NO MORE READING !!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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What are your resolution going to be for the new year?

Still on 1080p? or upgraded to 4k already?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliveOcelot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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2020 and 2021 were fighting for the "Worst Year Ever" award.

2021

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manantyagi25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.

He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said β€œKit-Kats are good but these are butter.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisoatkins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Remember to lift your left leg up off the ground during the New Years countdown

So you can start the New Year off on the right foot

Edit: Thanks for the silver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crustydog19
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Ordering pizza with my 3 year old.

Me: do you want ranch or blue cheese? 3yr old: ranch is for horses

Little guy Caught me off guard lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjorazi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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I tried renting a bounce house yesterday. The cost was twice as much as last year...

That’s inflation for you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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This year, 2021, I want more dough than a baker
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Orlando107
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....

Quaranteens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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This year..
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I've completed 4 years of being single today.

Or Can I say I graduated my Bachelor's Degree?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sairohit21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.

which I think is poor for four.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Christmas is getting a little punny around here this year
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenEngrams
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Today I got out-dad joked by a 2 year old

I asked my daughter if she was hungry and she said "No, I'm Charlotte".

I'm so proud of her, but also I had been waiting to do the whole hi hungry, I'm dad bit to her when I thought she was old enough to get it. Now I feel like I've missed that window

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dermerger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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From my 11 year old daughter. Did you hear the one about the man with the broken hearing aids?

Neither has he...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thrillhouse74
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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We've fought against 2020 all year

But in the end I guess 2021

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ugaphoenix
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I never remember what people tell me at New Year's parties

It goes in one year and out the other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellzone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.

I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBiff09
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Did you hear that less toys have been made this year in Santa’s workshop?

Many of his workers had to Elf Isolate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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It's the most wonderful thyme of the year...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PandaWalkWithMe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.

My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.

My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.

4yo: "I like your shirt mama!

Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?

4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shade0217
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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New Year's Resolution
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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My 9 year old told me this....What do you get when you cross a pig and an oven ??

Bakin'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Happy New Year
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yuzhesu03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Happy New Year fellow dad jokesters! For 2021, I’m going to turn all of my problems into opportunities.

Starting with my severe drinking opportunity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.

He just can't part with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report

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