A list of puns related to "School Year"
Son: “no dad, we’re walking late.”
Never to be heard from again.
Me-Dad: “Nope never seen her either”.
Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.
Because she’s all dressed.
“On the buzzzzz.” So proud.
When a chap in a van pulls up gets out and says there is a new leather sette and a leather chair in the van you can have it free of charge.
We decided to take it to our house. I told my dad expecting him to be pleased. Instead he came over and clipped my ear with the back of his hand.
Crying i said what was that for. My dad said How many times do i have to tell you. DONT TAKE SUITES OFF STRANGERS!
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
So I'm wearing his, because good dads listen.
A Pee.H.D
Never to be heard from again.
Me: Oh yeah, what was it on?
Her: Paper.
I was so proud.
Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.
Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.
One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.
As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.
The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:
No Offense, Nun Taken
I told him congraduations
We always knew he would accomplice something.
I said, "you're a groan man! Don't be sheepish--ewe can handle it."
He walked away with a spring in his step.
I wonder what Ella meant to Reese..
The ruler.
I asked her if it was a running joke...
"What's with the third degree?"
I thought it was a bit harsh to hold a 6 year old back for 3 years.
Because they are the class of 2020
Me: Oh, what happened to your two front teeth?
Girl: Oh, I lost them!
Me: Well I hope you find them!
My cousin's kid got home from school:
Cousin: So what happened in class today? Son: I got an A+ on a test. Cousin: That's great! What was the test on? Son: A piece of paper!
Today, my friend Mia and I found out we had PreCalculus together and thus sat across from each other and began talking about our schedules while our teacher prepared the student contracts. (For reference, Mr. Waage is one of the music teachers in my school.)
Mia- "I have Waage three times in my schedule this year and two are back to back." Me- "What periods do you have him?" Mia- "0, 4th, and 5th period." Me- "Looks like you are getting maximum Waage."
Grunts and cringes ensued
"What cats like to play on a computer?"
"Cats that want the mouse?"
"Nope"
"Okay, what cats like to play on a computer?"
"Tabby cats!"
My wife rolled her eyes and tossed a 12 inch ruler in the cart.
Me: What did they have at the farm?
Son: Pumpkins and gourds.
Me: Did you get to pick one out to take home?
Son: I got a gourd because it looked cool. /shows us multi colored, striped gourd
Me: Gourd for you!
Son: /slightly confused... Yes, I got this gourd.
Me: So... would you say you had a ... gourd time?
Wife: /groans
Son: Ya, I had a gourd time.
Wife: /groans again.
Wife: Really?!
Me: He gets these jokes now. He's all... gourd up now.
Wife: STOP!
Son: Oh, gourd!
…never to be heard from again…
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