Why does Mrs. Claus hate Santa?
He has too many ho ho hos
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
Looks like reindeer.
What do you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus?
So what do you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus?
A rebel without a Claus (insert all the groans here)
Why doesn't Santa Claus have to worry about catching COVID-19?
Because he has Santa-bodies.
Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?
Be like Santa Claus and prevent the spread of Covid
What's the secret to being Santa Claus?
You either have the gift or you don't.
Why can’t Santa Claus get COVID-19?
What nationality is Santa Claus?
I work at the mall as Santa Claus during Christmas. I'm wearing the costume for most of the day, but sometimes my colleague takes my place while I take a break
I'm the main Claus and he's my subordinate Claus.
Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.
How much does Santa Claus charge to park his sleigh?
Nothing. It’s on the house.
Why wouldn’t that kid play catch with Santa Claus?
As an adult I know now that my parents were actually Santa Claus.
But I still don’t know how they got to all those houses in one night.
Santa wakes in a start and turns to Mrs Claus
"I just had the weirdest dream, and I can't make any sense of it."
Mrs Claus sits up and replies "Why don't you tell me about it dear?"
"They're I am, doing the Christmas eve rounds, checking in on the workers and I see one of them topping up the sleigh with gas. It's just routine work, but it woke me up tonight. What do you make of it?"
"Oh I see," Mrs Claus says, "very interesting."
"Well?" Santa says expectantly.
"This is a classic example of an elf fuel filling prophecy."
Santa Claus probably has...
I visited my friend and when I got there I noticed he had dressed up a bottle of gin like Santa Claus. So I asked him about it.
He told me, “Oh that? It’s just a bit of holiday spirit.”
If you dress up as santa claus is it claus-playing?
What would Santa call Mrs. Claus if she was a slut?
A ho ho ho
On a serious note Merry Christmas
What does Santa Claus use a mod operator for?
To find his remain-deer ;o)
I was about 12 when my mom told me that Santa Claus was my father.
I'm not sure if she ever told my dad.
Once I saw a guy dressed like santa claus...
I was in a mall and I went in the elevator and I saw santa just ripping off his beard and I got scared
After that incident, I'm claustrophobic.
There were 100 kids at the North Pole with Santa Claus. Why weren't they opening the presents?
Their tiny little hooves couldn't unwrap the paper.
TIL Santa Claus is European..
Where does Santa Claus get his toys?
If Santa Claus forgets to pay the mortgage on his workshop.....
What does Mrs. Claus do while Santa is delivering presents?
What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
LPT: For the next two months, whenever the doorbell rings, tell your kids, “It’s Santa Claus”
You never have to get up again.
Why does Santa Claus have three gardens?
Did you know Santa Claus was Russian?
Russian to deliver all those presents!
Last Christmas season, I took my son to see Santa Claus at the mall and he stank of booze and cigarettes.
God knows what Santa must have thought of him.
I thought I saw Santa Claus when I pulled my Scandinavian pastry out of the oven;
turns out it was just a crisp kringle.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
why did santa claus get a parking ticket?
because he was parked in a snow parking zone
Why did Mrs. Claus leave Santa?
Because he only came once a year and then it was down a chimney.
Santa to Mrs. Claus: do you hear that noise?
Mrs Claus: It's only rain dear.
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
What did Santa Claus say when he caught Mrs. Claus cheating?
How do you call orange Santa Claus?
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out the window?
It looks like rain, dear.
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out of the window?
It looks like rain, dear.
(From r/funny)
What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Santa Claus?
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