Why can’t Santa Claus get COVID-19?
I work at the mall as Santa Claus during Christmas. I'm wearing the costume for most of the day, but sometimes my colleague takes my place while I take a break
I'm the main Claus and he's my subordinate Claus.
Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.
How much does Santa Claus charge to park his sleigh?
Nothing. It’s on the house.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
Why wouldn’t that kid play catch with Santa Claus?
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
As an adult I know now that my parents were actually Santa Claus.
But I still don’t know how they got to all those houses in one night.
How do you call orange Santa Claus?
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out the window?
It looks like rain, dear.
Santa wakes in a start and turns to Mrs Claus
"I just had the weirdest dream, and I can't make any sense of it."
Mrs Claus sits up and replies "Why don't you tell me about it dear?"
"They're I am, doing the Christmas eve rounds, checking in on the workers and I see one of them topping up the sleigh with gas. It's just routine work, but it woke me up tonight. What do you make of it?"
"Oh I see," Mrs Claus says, "very interesting."
"Well?" Santa says expectantly.
"This is a classic example of an elf fuel filling prophecy."
I visited my friend and when I got there I noticed he had dressed up a bottle of gin like Santa Claus. So I asked him about it.
He told me, “Oh that? It’s just a bit of holiday spirit.”
What would Santa call Mrs. Claus if she was a slut?
A ho ho ho
On a serious note Merry Christmas
Santa Claus probably has...
If you dress up as santa claus is it claus-playing?
What does Santa Claus use a mod operator for?
To find his remain-deer ;o)
Mrs. Claus kicked out Santa and now he doesn't have a place to live
So that makes him a ho ho hobo
Once I saw a guy dressed like santa claus...
I was in a mall and I went in the elevator and I saw santa just ripping off his beard and I got scared
After that incident, I'm claustrophobic.
I was about 12 when my mom told me that Santa Claus was my father.
I'm not sure if she ever told my dad.
If Santa Claus forgets to pay the mortgage on his workshop.....
TIL Santa Claus is European..
Where does Santa Claus get his toys?
What does Mrs. Claus do while Santa is delivering presents?
What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Santa Claus?
Why does Santa Claus have three gardens?
LPT: For the next two months, whenever the doorbell rings, tell your kids, “It’s Santa Claus”
You never have to get up again.
Last Christmas season, I took my son to see Santa Claus at the mall and he stank of booze and cigarettes.
God knows what Santa must have thought of him.
Did you know Santa Claus was Russian?
Russian to deliver all those presents!
I thought I saw Santa Claus when I pulled my Scandinavian pastry out of the oven;
turns out it was just a crisp kringle.
Why did Mrs. Claus leave Santa?
Because he only came once a year and then it was down a chimney.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
why did santa claus get a parking ticket?
because he was parked in a snow parking zone
What did Santa Claus say to Rudolph about the weather?
Santa Claus was the original cosplayer
that's it, that's the joke. from my dad. he was in tears about it.
Santa Claus's tomb may have been uncovered today. Crazy.
And to think, all it took was a hoe hoe hoe.
The last Czar challenged Santa Claus to compete against him in a marathon...
It was the closest race ever.
The entire time, they were Nick and Nick.
What do you call a Santa Claus whose legs are different lengths?
What did Santa Claus say when he caught Mrs. Claus cheating?
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out of the window?
It looks like rain, dear.
(From r/funny)
In the spirit of the holidays: what do you call a person afraid of Santa Claus?
How much did Santa Claus pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
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