Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Old Jed Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies) got in an accident that left him with a glass eye. It was uncomfortable to sleep in over night so he took it out and hired a servant to watch it.
It was his Jed Eye Master.
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs?
Where did the banana sleep?
Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
My 9yr old son just told me this 🤪
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
What happens when CIA goes to sleep?
Have you heard about the child abductor that sleeps alot?
Do you know why keyboards don't get sleep....
Cos they have 2 shifts...
How do you put baby alien to sleep ?
Why did the bicycle go to sleep ?
Where do grizzlies sleep?
I read that Shakira struggles to sleep and get comfortable in bed.
Apparently its because her hips don’t lie
What do you call a Jedi that can't get to sleep?
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.
Damn near poked my eye out.
When you hit the pillow to go to sleep
It's like a portal to another REM.
Why do secret agents get the best sleep...
Because they’re always undercover.
Campers are so passionate about where they sleep outside.
What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?
At the beach, opposite the life guard, a man sleeps on a towel, adjacent an unopened umbrella.
When he wakes up, he's going to be a tan gent.
Talking in his sleep is a hobbit
Who tucked King Tut to sleep?
How does one’s height affect their sleep?
Taller people sleep longer in bed.
What do you call a sleep walking nun?
Did you know a keyboard never sleeps?
It's because it has two shifts.
If you poop in your sleep
My doctor told me that a blindfold might help me sleep, but I don’t know.
I can’t see myself wearing it.
For me, the urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away...
...a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
My grandma died peacefully in her sleep...
...unlike the rest of the people in the car who probably died screaming, “Irene! Irene! Wake up! Wake Up!!
What type of tissue can you sleep on?
What do Geologists sleep on?
What did the lawyer say when he put his luggage to sleep?
Jeff Bezos can't sleep
until he puts his pajamazon.
I sent my daughter to prison because she didn't want to sleep
I got picked for this five-day-a-week, year-long sleep study. It pays $15,000 a month.
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time,
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Sleep experts reckon that in order to stay optimally healthy, you need "6-8 hours a day".
That's me buggered then, my day has 24 hours.
Where do Lycans go to sleep?
I finally got 8 hours of sleep!
It took 3 days, but whatever.
As a journalist I only sleep on corduroy pillows.
That way I always wake up with headlines ☝🏻
I woke up at 3 in the morning, made this, and fell back to sleep.
No matter how stressful my day is, I always sleep like a baby.
I crap myself and wake up crying at least once each night.
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs...
When I die, I want to go out peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...
Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
How do astronaut parents soothe their baby to sleep?
Why does a keyboard never sleep?
I came so close to singing "the lion sleeps tonight"
I was only a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away