Sleepover Puns

It always follows hor d’oeuvres.

Son: Dad, can I spend the night at Jim's?

Dad: No, be home in an hour.

Son: But dad please!

Dad: No, be home in an hour.

Dad's friend: Why can't he spend the night at Jim's?

Dad: This would be a back-to-back night sleepover.

Dad's Friend: Why can't they just do to head-to-toe?

Dad:"So, Kanpekimoto says you're pretty smart, says you have a 3.8 in high school."

Friend:"Uh, yeah I guess you could say that."

Driving past cemetery.

Dad:"Well lets see. How many dead people you think are over there?"

Friend:"I don't know, maybe 400?"

Dad:"No, all of them dumb***"

So, I'm new to this subreddit, so please don't berate me for posting a story instead of a joke ;-;

Anyways, my friend came over to my house for a 2 day sleepover a few weeks ago, and during the sleepover, we went to Petco to buy some stuff for my ferret. While we were there, we just kept gossiping about how cute all the animals there were. There were parrots, other ferrets, turtles, fish, a cat, and lizards.

When we were checking out the lizards, my dad immediately started to warn us about them...

"Don't talk to the lizard, kids! It might want to sell you car insurance! It'll only take 15 minutes or less!"

Gosh, I love my dad XD

Whenever I meet my friend to hand off one or the others child for a play date or sleepover we meet in a public parking lot and exchange a black briefcase. Hug that child extra long. Someday I hope to hear it spoke about .

I hope momjokes are welcome

When I was a teenager my aunt and her husband had to have their house fumigated and needed a place to stay for a weekend. My parents offered them my room and arranged a sleepover for me at my nephew's. As I was leaving the house I cheekily turn back and say to them : don't do anything in there I wouldn't do!

To which my mom promptly replied : honey, they're not going to clean your room

Me and 2 friends were having a sleepover, we were all in the kitchen making food when my friend's father needed to pass through.

Friend: 'Sorry, are we in the way?'

Dad: 'No, you're in the kitchen.'

it's my first day back home for the holidays and my 12 year-old sister has invited her friends for a sleepover
she asked my dad to bring some edamame to her room
five minutes later i hear: girls are you ready to eat your mommy?!?!
i feel for you sister. brings me back to....every time i had friends over.