A robber and a babysitter fall into a crevice.

There’s a crook and nanny in the nook and cranny

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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I hired a babysitter the other day who pretends to be an owl

Called her a hootin' nanny

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DumbassNinja
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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Which insects make for great babysitters?

Ants and ladybugs.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elchuckles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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Why are babysitters bad for your baby?

Because they sit on them.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Triblado
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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{r/Jokes xpost} Why did Superboy never need a babysitter?

He always had super vision.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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What did the drill sergeant do with his newborn when the babysitter cancelled?

Took him to the infant-ry

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chandler404
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2017
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For the weebs out there: What do you call a confused babysitter in Japan?

A NANI

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Opunsesameme
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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Why didn't Superman ever need a babysitter as a child?

He already had super vision.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoGators2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2016
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Pizza for babysitter

Wife and I are going on a double-date. Our pals have an older kid who will babysit our young ones. We put an order in for pizza for our kids and asked the other couple what the babysitter would like. The response come back, Margherita.

Me: "If you say so... I'll have to pick up some tequila while I'm out."

Cue the groans.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2015
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My babysitter's dad whenever we were hungry or angry

Him: You want a sandwich? Me: Sure! Him: (holding up fist) A knuckle sandwich!?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howdydiddy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2013
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Did you know that Mrs. Doubtfire could have just as easily have been another title

'Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dad'

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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Things with "dad" in them

Crawdads, doodads, hodads, your mom, the babysitter, your second-grade primary school teacher ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Harkonan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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How does a crab go when it's right?

"Aw, snap!"

Apparently our babysitter taught that to my 2 -1/2 year old daughter.
That is how she said it, verbatim. Im still laughing

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconerGuitars
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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I would give my left nut to go on a date with my wife just me n her.

(does anyone know any babysitters that accept pay in testicles?)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/h00rj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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Are dad joke stories ok?

Context: babysitter said my 5yo son drove him nuts today (while directing it to previously mentioned son). "To the point where I wanted to yell" "STOP" at him."

I turned to him and said,, "Collaborate and listen. We're all here in the name of love so please don't bug your uncle when he's trying to get something done. Or it's hammer time.

^^^(disclaimer. my bro understands and is not mad about him being curious nor would I punish him for being so, or, with a hammer)^^^

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILiveOnNSQ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
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My 12 year old daughter started a dad joke chain, and I finished it.

Background: I have the names and birth dates of each of my two daughters on my calves. 12 year old on the right, 8 year old in the left.

Today, my eldest was looking at my tats and said to the babysitter, "Well, I guess I'm 'all right' with dad!".

The baby sitter said something to the effect of, "That's silly."

So I looked at my daughter, winked and said to the babysitter, "Well, she is right."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fitzlurker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2015
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