Caregiver Puns

Me (34M) and my husband (47M) have two children (a girl and a boy, both 5 years old) via surrogacy, my husband was the sperm donor. If you haven’t noticed, we are a gay couple. My MIL wasn’t never my biggest fan, I don’t know the reasons but I can only assume that it has something to do with my decisions and my lifestyle, there was a time where she thought that I was taking advantage of her son and his money. My husband is older than me, for that reason she assumed that I was taking advantage of him or trying to. Obviously this was never true and I think I have proved myself the last 7 years.

My MIL is a fan of children, she basically harasses her kids to have a baby if they’re not parents, and if they already have babies she demands more, my husband wasn’t the exception even if he’s gay. We always wanted to have children because both of us are naturally family oriented men, and we’re planning to have more. I love my family and I love my husband but MIL makes me feel inadequate. She makes constant remarks about how my children are not biologically mine, at first I didn’t care because she’s right but I’m getting very annoyed lately. We were celebrating our kids birthday, a MIL’s friend (I don’t know who invited her) told me that my babies are beautiful (which I’m proud of) and she told me that my son acts exactly like me and I laughed because it’s true, and MIL told her “It’s learned behavior because they are not his biological children” when she thought I wasn’t listening, I ignored this because she is right.

Both me and my husband work and sometimes MIL take care of the babies, one day I came to pick them up and I listened to my MIL telling my daughter to tell “daddy” about something (nothing important) and my daughter came to me and told me what MIL asked her to, and MIL said “No, not him. Your daddy”, my kids call me daddy and my husband “papa”. I felt attacked because she doesn’t see me as the father, she see me as a caregiver and not important so I told her that I’m literally “daddy”, I’m literally the father, not the caregiver, not a nobody. I asked her to stop treating me as the caregiver because I’m the real dad too. She immediately apologized and told me that I overreacted. Did I? AITA?

You can check out the full interview here.

• Jon was a friend of Eric's from school. Back then, he'd help Eric out if his parents went away for a weekend.
• He was running an alcohol and drug recovery program when Eric's parents asked if he'd become his caregiver. Eric's dad had just retired and his parents were looking to move up into the mountain area.
• Jon is still a caregiver for his own parents. His father has leukemia and his mother dementia. The state pays him 2 hours a day.
• In California, the state would pay him 4 hours a day for taking care of Eric.
• Eric's parents first put them in an apartment in 2005, but they moved into a house the following year.
• Jon didn't really listen to the show. He'd catch Eric's segments on a replay or use marksfriggin.
• He says Eric's personality on the show was mostly a character.
• While Eric would wait on hold, Johnny Fratto would rile him up.
• Jon thought Fratto was cool, but was also a source of stress. He calls him "flaky," often disappearing for days at a time when they needed him.
• They went to Fratto's 6-8 times. One time was for "that fake chick, Kendra... That was one of those shady things Johnny did because he knew what was going on from the start. That was a big setup."
• "Howard was really cool in person. He sat there and talked to Eric, I'd say, a good hour after the show. He just sat next to Eric and talked to him."
• When Eric went backstage to AGT in San Francisco, Howard told him, 'You know all the stuff I say to you and everything is for the show, that I really respect you."
• Eric thought the only people who had an issue with him were Gary and Fred. He liked to argue with Artie.
• Jon is adamant that Eric the Midget was a character. He says people really didn't believe it in the beginning, but they started to catch on towards the end.
• Eric was most annoyed by the "ack ack" drop.
• He never intended on flying with balloons.
• Jon says when they had a guy there to measure him for the Real Doll, that they believed he was an actor. They said they'd seen him before on an episode of HowardTV.
• Eric would be doing Twitch and Cameo if he was still around.
• Jon was leaving Eric to take care of his own parents full time. The day before Eric's parents were supposed to pick him up, Eric got sick. They called Eric's brother who was a firefighter/paramedic. They went to the hospital and Eric's dad rushed down. He passed soon

All of my references are dead

FML I’m so done with this job….and it’s not that it’s hard it’s hard because we’re understaffed. I started at this care facility 5 weeks ago. My first week there 6 caregivers quit within the same day. Leaving only 1 caregiver for graveyard. My coworker whom I’m close friends with just notified me that she quit on the spot. Which now leaves 3 caregivers for day(I work day shift). MINUS one caregiver, so actually 2 caregivers for day bc the 3rd one let’s call her Britney doesn’t do shit. Britney literally leaves residents in their briefs(we don’t call them diapers to be respectful)all day, doesn’t get residents up, literally is dead weight as a caregiver. And finally, there’s only 3 caregivers for swing shift. I only work 3 days a week, bc I have a second job that’s part time and more of a priority bc it’s for a union that has outstanding benefits. I would work their full time, but I don’t drive. Half of these residents are incontinent and need brief changes every couple hours. 3 residents are transfers. Half of these residents have severe Alzheimer’s so you’re constantly redirecting them. 3 residents need to be fed by a person. Also did I forget, ah yes the showers. All the fucking showers. That won’t get done bc I don’t have time. I’m so scared, I truly am. Most people would hate being a caregiver, but I genuinely do enjoy it. It’s my favorite job. And it’s not that the job is hard, it’s hard because we are understaffed. They pay $16 an hour where I work. (Min wage where I live is 12.75). You can get a job at Taco Bell making the same amount, as their sign says. No offense to people that work at Taco Bell, but your job is WAY easier cause your just dealing with food and pissed off customers. Meanwhile Karen is over hear yelling and biting at you bc you’re tryna change her outta her dirty brief. All while you got everyone on the radio wanting your assistance AND you have to clean up shit and piss. You have to throw out your back lifting people and walk 10 miles everyday running around. And don’t forget the runny type of shit that you have to clean up as well :). I’m so tired. I’m drained. I’m burnt out. I’m just waiting til my driving test in February and once I’m driving IM OUT. I want to do in home caregiving full time because it’s easier on my body and so much more relaxing. All you do is just hang out with a old person that’s practically you’re friend all day. Cook, clean, and do errands for them. I’d take that job over this job. I can’t see myself work

Hello Everyone 👋

I posted a similar topic in the caregiving forum and also wanted to post to this group for a different type of perspective/take.

My mom had a stroke 11 years ago which left her needing 24 hour care due to cognitive and incontinence issues. I have always used aides for my working hours and taken care of her outside of the working hours. Throughout this I managed to climb the career ladder to becoming a Business Analyst with the company I have been working for for 11 years.

I have been extremely lucky with my employer. I work for a woman owned company and feel that my employers identify with my mom ( woman in her 50s) and are compassionate. I am also a great employee and have always gone above and beyond as a way to prove that my circumstances do not impact my professional life.

Mom's needs have changed however. She developed dementia over the last 3 years and is also in end stage kidney failure. Her dementia causes behavioral challenges and makes her very vulnerable. Right before the pandemic I had to fire a caregiver for being verbally abusive to her. The pandemic , allowing me to work from home, is what has kept me from leaving my job. Following that incident there is no way I could trust anyone to care for my mom. The caregiver I trusted completely with her retired right before the pandemic.

During this pandemic, working from home I have been taking care of her myself. I work doing all data related requests that come with my role overnight and I am not neglecting my work in any ways.

Mom is also likely to start dyalisis in about 6 months. We have elected to perform her dyalisis at home - which will be done overnight and managed by me.

So while being able to somewhat balance all of this- I realize that realistically it might not be sustainable. Balancing the current need only allows for 4 hours of sleep at night- with the added complication of the home dyalisis- it is difficult to imagine.

I am trying to plan- I want to try to keep my job for as long as possible while being respectful to my employer with giving proper notice for an unpredictable situation. I am also afraid for the future and my ability to reenter the workplace when she leaves the world.

Putting her in a facility is not an option. I think it is also important to note that I enjoy caring for her. The stress of working and doing that is what is difficult.

Finance wise - I am lucky to live in New York state and will be paid about 2800 to care for her. My m

Turned in my two weeks a week ago because we're so understaffed, I've been doing the work of three to four people nearly every day. So, my boss called me in to talk about how to get me to stay and told me "I'm not giving this raise to just anyone. In fact, I try not to give you all extra money because in my eyes, you're all invaluable. If I gave you $100 an hour, that still wouldn't be enough."

Honestly, I'm just tired. The directors pocket so much money, yet provide the care team with minimum wage and force the residents to live in subpar living situations. All while spewing out these bullshit aphorisms about how important is caregivers are to the building. More than half the residents pay over $4000/mo for care they don't even recieve. We didn't even have an on call nurse until a couple weeks ago.

Management easily makes 4-5x what us caregivers make just to talk shit in their "meetings" (the front desk recently found out their meetings are bullshit) and throw parties for themselves.

I don't care about money. Yes, I obviously need enough money to survive in this country, but I don't care about making more than I need. I just care about making sure the people I care for are happy and comfortable. But it just felt like a slap in the face when my boss told me that shit. I have a coworker who's worked here for over a decade and, like me, works for $15. And she easily does better and more work than me. But because she is so "invaluable," giving her a living wage means shit, I guess. She's retirement age with two jobs (childcare during the day and this shit overnight) but her invaluability means she doesn't deserve to have enough money to not break her goddamned back every day to live.

30, female. I'm disabled, on Medicaid and I've been receiving SSI benefits for the last 3 years. This spring, I was hospitalized after a surgery that left me septic. I had to get another, much more invasive surgery that put me out for several weeks. Shortly after returning home, I had to return because I had a pulmonary embolism and partially collapsed lungs. During that stay, I was recommended to discharge to a skilled nursing facility, since I live alone and was temporarily incapable of day-to-day care for myself. My sister took care of the discharge, sending me to the facility where she did social work. I stayed there for just under a month.

Once my stint was up, they sent me home. Prior to my discharge, my sister shared with me info on getting a home healthcare worker. I'd been making strides in my physical therapy, and could do most daily tasks unassisted, but since I was projected to still have a wound-vac on my surgery site after I went home, she all but strong-armed me into considering it. I received a pamphlet in the mail from a particular home health agency, forwarded to me via the nursing home, but it never progressed past that. I ended up getting the wound-vac removed (much to my sister's dismay) before discharge, so beyond some basic wound care, I had nothing I needed help with. A month after returning home, I was back to life as usual.

Today, my mother let it slip that my niece (22) has been 'working' as my caregiver for around a month. This threw me for a loop because I hadn't heard a word about this from anyone. Mom, bless her heart, knew she'd messed up in letting it slip, and begged me to 'not get her involved. She allegedly thought that I was in on it and splitting the checks (which I'd never do, as a former caregiver), and nobody else in the family as said a word to me about it or anything otherwise. I've spoken to all three of them at least four times in the last few weeks, so I'm not buying that they just haven't had the chance to talk to me about it. I feel like they're keeping me in the dark. Literally profiting off my ignorance.

The first thing I did was call my case manager. I've received social services from a local mental/behavioral health agency, and I figured they'd be the first I could talk to. I knew direct confrontation with my niece would be a dangerous move, so I wanted to verify with 100% certainty before going forward. Since my specific manager was in training today, I had to speak to his colleague. They told m

The last few days on this sub has seen growing opposition to the prevalence of "big titty mommy gfs" as the focus of posts here, complaints especially being from the women of this sub. In these posts, women are acting as caregivers to men, giving affection and calming them down after work, or doing domestic work like cooking and cleaning for him, while the man is open to recieving that affection (and the women are often drawn in ways prioritizing the male gaze, often skinny and with big boobs).

Criticism of women's depictions in these are that they are only reinforcing female gender roles as nurturing caregivers (even most traditional m/f relationships have the women as caring after the men) and are fetishistic and dehumanizing portrayals of women made for the male gaze rather than depicting anything through the female gaze (a feeling especially strengthened by the long-term popularity of this type of depiction on this sub).

RR men often object to these criticisms, saying that men being emotionally vulnerable is subversive, which it is. But aside from that, the men in these posts aren't acting that untraditional: they aren't in the caregiver role taking care of their partner, they aren't in the homemaker role of cooking, cleaning, child rearing or doing other domestic work, the only other subversion happening is (usually in NSFW works) submitting to the woman, which often still depict the women as doing all of the work while the man receives. Often these posts get more upvotes and comments than posts discussing gender roles, queerness in gender nonconformity, or what women want from these types of relationships. There is very little female-perspective or female-gaze content being submitted to this subreddit as well, and it often gets overshadowed by male-gaze content when it is posted.

Repeated exposure to these trends crystalizes the point I'm making in the minds of most who hold my perspective: this subreddit does prioritize male-gaze content. The userbase gender ratio of this sub is imbalanced with about 20% of the users being female compared to 72% being male (the remaining being unsure or other), which would support this. However, this subreddit is getting better at being more diverse - in the past, the gender ratio was more imbalanced and less people identified as bi/pansexual or non-binary (anecdotally, I remember personally years ago when this sub was hostile to being considered aligned with queer or feminist groups).

Art and content made

Happy 2022 everyone. If you are like me, the new year just sort of slid in while I was otherwise engaged. I care for my 98 (99 this week) bedridden, dementia ridden mother. I'm in her home everyday from 8-6. No days off the last two years. My brother takes over in the evenings, but lately caregiver fatigue has set in and more often than not he's content to have me back (I live a mile away) to clean up a messy poop. He says she no longer lets him do it. She weighs 180 pounds and changing her isn't easy.

I'm 69 years old. My friends are retired and mostly kicking back and enjoying their freedom from work. I see Facebook posts from friends enjoying walks on the beach and feel intense pangs of jealousy. Some of my friends are, however, dealing with their own health issues. Being a senior citizen is challenging. I, on the other hand, can't afford to get sick, and if I do, oh well. I soldier on.

My husband is completely unsupportive. He does his own thing. Goes on outings without me. We now officially live separate lives. My daughter thinks I'm crazy. When I'm elderly and in poor health, there will be no help there from either of them.

My mom's doctor told me to put her on hospice care, which I've done. He said it would make a big difference. Well, it doesn't. A nurse breezes in and out a couple of times a week to take her vitals and a woman shows up twice a week to clean her up. That's it. Little difference from when she was on routine Medicare home care. I can' t afford caregivers and mom has just enough money in the bank that she doesn't qualify for any paid help. Believe me I've looked into it. It sucks.

So, what's the point of this post? To simply take a moment to share my story but more importantly to salute you all for your selflessness and hard work that too often goes unrecognized and unappreciated. I've had people ask me how my mom is doing, but no one ever asks how I'm doing. They have no clue. I acknowledge each and every one of you who posts here. You wouldn't be here if you didn't need a kind word, some support, a place to vent about the frustrations of caregiving. Those of us who do it didn't ask to be put in this position. We do it out of love and a sense of duty. So, again, Happy New Year to all. I pray that each of you find the strength to keep going no matter how difficult the circumstance and that you take comfort in knowing you're not alone because you aren't.

The poop on your foot isn’t your dog’s.

Hey all - in the interest of trying to be more ethical about my consumption, I'd like to try to support brands and shops that are not trying to gut the caregiver rights and treat their workers right, etc., I know there was some info about brands to boycott previously but some of the info I find seems to be contradictory (Pleasantrees MCMA membership, not being good to employees, etc).

I'm mainly interested in concentrates, carts and edibles, bud lesser so, though quality and testing results are a big deal for me because while I don't have a med card for personal reasons, I do use for medical reasons so that's a big concern. I can't grow, so the dispos are my best option.

Hi. I'm a caregiver for disabled adults. I worked 20 hours today. Reading posts here I kind of realized how burnt out I am. 6 days a week, 6 years. Everyone's quitting. Patients are dying. I know I'm not a real nurse. I don't feel like I deserve to give up when y'all have it so much worse. I can't help but wonder if it will end. When will I finally catch covid from all the anti-vaxxers I'm forced to interact with. A year ago we lost a patient I've worked with since day one. I still miss him. I've always wanted to move up and become a real nurse. I don't think I'm strong enough. Being an essential worker has drained my soul. No one cares. I get called slurs regularly (I'm a trans woman). No one cares. No one cares. I love my job. I love helping people. But there's no light at the end of my tunnel anymore.

I'm one of the owners of Black Tie Cannabis in Greene, and as more and more adult use and medical stores pop up, I'm seeing a large variety in how these establishments are operating.

I would love to hear from this community on how stores can better serve you.

If you've come into Black Tie, I'd welcome all constructive criticism. We want to do better! The point of our operation is to serve our communities as best we can, and who better to help us do that than the communities themselves?

What are stores doing that you love?

What are stores doing that you hate?

How can the patient/customer experience be improved?

We acknowledge that no matter how hard we try, sometimes we will come up short. We will bring in products that people don't like; we will make mistakes when recommending products; we will make transactional errors. Our goal is to minimize these mistakes by improving our education/training methods, and by gathering feedback from customers. We want to make sure that when problems do arise, we do everything we can to rectify the situation.

Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to leave industry feedback, or feedback about our store. We appreciate you letting us know how we can better help you!

We can also be contacted via Instagram @ blacktiecannabismaine, or by email at blacktiecannabis@gmail.com.

My grandfather passed away last May and since then, I’ve been living with my grandmother. It wasn’t really a choice I made, the responsibility was put on me and I don’t think anyone realizes how much it’s weighing on me. My family visits once a week and sometimes not at all. I’ve had to tackle colleges classes, two jobs, shit mental health all while trying to act normal for my grandmother. I haven’t really had the time to grieve.

I love my grandmother and I would do anything for her but it’s just so difficult. I have no social life because I can’t leave her by herself. She’s only 62 so she can still do a lot for herself but I’m the one who drives her around and keeps her company because she’s still hurting a lot. If I go visit my parents and sisters for example, she gets sad. If I go see a movie or go to a cafe, she makes me feel guilty for leaving her alone.

I’m not living for me at this point. I feel like the shell of the person I used to be. I can’t imagine ever being responsible for another human being. My life is full of love but I feel so miserable. Just typing this out makes me feel like the worst person in existence.

Just wondering if anyone has ever experienced something like this.

Hi all, I posted this question about a month ago, but the guy I was talking to seemed to have deleted his profile.

I'm looking for a legit caretaker in the Marquette area for my Fiance who is currently going through chemotherapy. We're closer to Champion, but are willing to drive.

Please reach out to chat further!

Never be a Barbra the Builder, and always get a prenup even if you don't have anything yet. There's always the risk they will try to "trade up" when they think they've made it (with your assistance of course..).

>‘He is the most computer-illiterate person I know’: I was my husband’s research analyst, caregiver, cook and housekeeper. Now he wants a divorce after 38 years.
>
>Published: Dec. 15, 2021 at 8:57 a.m. ET
>
>By Quentin Fottrell
>
>‘He “retired” in 1992 at age 50. His plan was to start an investment advisory firm with my help’
>
>https://www.marketwatch.com/story/he-is-the-most-computer-illiterate-person-i-know-i-was-my-husbands-research-analyst-caregiver-cook-and-housekeeper-now-he-wants-a-divorce-after-38-years-11639576656

Seen too many Airmen get dicked over by shit leadership. Take your primary caregiver leave, even if you're the military member, to hell with the dystopian nightmare machine that is the modern American workforce. Don't ever let people shame/pressure you into taking secondary caregiver if that's not what you want to do. Spend time with your baby, be the primary caregiver, love that little ball of fat and cuteness as much as you can for that entire time. Don't be fooled by leadership's "What we will do without you?!" that's THEIR problem.

AFI 36-3003 Para 3.2.2.4. Primary Caregiver. The parent with the primary responsibility for caring for a child. For qualifying births, in most cases the primary caregiver will be the parent who physically gives birth to one or more live children in a 72-hour period. For a qualifying birth event or adoption, the primary caregiver will most often be the non-military parent but not always. In some cases, the covered military member may be designated as the primary caregiver. Such cases may include, but are not limited to: situations where the covered member is the birthparent; dual military couples where one member of the couple is designated as the primary caregiver; the unavailability and/or incapacity of the birthparent if the birthparent is not a military member; the necessity of the non-military parent to return to his or her place of employment; the death of one of the parents; or other circumstances where the non-birth parent military member must act as primary caregiver. The non-birth parent/covered military member may elect to designate themselves as the Primary Caregiver. Primary Caregiver Leave may be approved for an unmarried, non-birthparent if that member’s parentage of the child is established with guidance found in AFI 36-3026 Inter-service Publication, Volume 1, Identification Cards For Members Of The Uniformed Services, Their Eligible Family Members, And Other Eligible Personnel. (T-1) Primary Caregiver Leave:

THE IMPORTANT PART OF THIS PARAGRAPH IS RIGHT HERE: The non-birth parent/covered military member may elect to designate themselves as the Primary Caregiver.

That's a period before and after that 1 sentence. It's 1 block of information. Says right there, black and white, you can designate yourself as the primary.

THEN, the most important piece of information from the WHOLE AFI.

3.2.2.6. Designation of primary and secondary caregivers. In the case of a qualifying birth event or adoption

Hi everyone, I personally don’t have an ostomy so I’m hoping I can post here. My mom just had ostomy surgery done (around 2 weeks ago) and she is absolutely refusing to eat. She said she’s nauseous and not hungry. She said stomaching food is next to impossible. I’ve been trying to buy/prepare foods she would be willing to eat that fall within her guidelines, but the only thing she’ll consume is ensure. The nurse is telling her that she’s not healing properly due to her lack of food intake and it’s been a struggle to try to convince her to eat. I can’t even fathom what she’s going through, but I obviously want her to heal and get better. Does anyone have any suggestions for foods/supplements that they’ve used and enjoyed?

Edit to add: she has been trying certain foods. The only thing she’ll consistently consume is ensure.

*Trigger warning [sexual, physical, emotional, and verbal abuse including the abuse of a minor and a severely disabled adult.]

Im so disabled. I got a virus 12 years ago that caused a rare complications, I had organ and neurological damage. I am in pain all day everyday and can't drive.

As a disabled queer mixed race woman of color have experienced sexual or physical assaults from strangers and partners and friends and family. Started at 7, I was forced to kiss one of them for a almost a decade. Dating is so miserable. I used to get ghosted all the time once they found out I was as disabled as I am. I've been assaulted on a first date. (by a stranger committing a hate crime) and have ptsd for most of my life.

It's mostly the same stuff I was told before as an ablebodied woman, just including frank opinions on disability

The only serious partner who didn't abuse in the last 13 years was a woman. I have had very little success with finding a serious relationship with a woman.

My partner gave me the ultimatum the day before christmas eve. Today he's said he's not even sure he wants to be with me even if I did say yes.

So now Im here in this apartment, I begged him to stay with me ...like 5 times, mostly in the last week.

I need help at odd hours. my caregiver doesn't have the hours to cover it. Shes quitting anyway. He assures me he won't abandon me but his word has not meant much since we moved. He said today I cant trust him but I think he just said that to hurt me. I fell getting out of bed a moment after he laid down to sleep and he ignored me while I was crying on the floor.

I am so afraid. I would never have moved out if I thought he would leave me but now I'm stuck. we are stuck, and when I express my feelings and hurt about how he has treated me he gets so mad and talks about his mental health. Neither of us can afford to leave.

He has gaslit me on and off for 2 years and for the first full year after his infidelity. He Claims he didn't say that or didn't mean it like im taking it and always im not fucking listening. That he never lied when I caught him lying he just didn't give either of us context. That he never gaslit me because he wasn't intentionally gaslighting me there for he couldn't have gaslit me. He has verbally and emotionally abused me a handful of times and I usually end up apologizing. Hes always sorry the next day.

I woke up yesterday and crash for the first time in 2 years (sharp inceease in sympto

I have an adult special needs son (Down Syndrome, 22, quite high functioning, loves all people and animals) who has had a wonderful caregiver for the past 3- ish years. She has been nothing short of amazing- really into physical fitness, they spend a lot of time working out and eating healthy, have participated in numerous marathon type events, and overall she just truly cares about my son, and we’ve all become really close.

Several months ago, she became involved with a local pit-bull rescue organization. The first pit bull she fostered, she ended up adopting, and it lives at her parents house. It’s docile and behaves like a really old dog, even though it’s only about 6 years old. It was abused and has the cut ears and scarring - terribly sad for the animal. I’m not terrified of this dog and my son has been around it w/ no issues. Would I trust it? Never. But it literally lays around all day, walks really slow, and barely moves in general.

Side note: I’ve shared with my son’s provider that I witnessed a horrific attack on a 3 year old child when I was a teen- in which a pit bull mauled this child’s face and bit off her ear. Ive never gotten over my fear of these dogs.

Well next thing you know, she and her bf decide to foster another pit bull and this one lives at her bf’s house. She told me ahead of time this particular pit bull could not have toys, as he has “toy aggression”. I expressed concerns and she assured me he was fine and had no teeth. (Not true). My son came home and said the dog had growled at another person (another client- a female adult w/DS). I immediately asked her about this, and she said the dog had actually barked at my son when he leaned over to look at something on her phone. I said bark or growl? because my son said he growled - to which she replied: “bark, growl, same thing”. I said no it’s not. She said the dog was just being protective of her, and that after this incident, she called the rescue organization and spoke to the woman handling this dog’s case, and the woman said there was nothing to worry about… that it was actually a good thing that the dog did a warning bark instead of just resorting straight to biting? It was actually seen as some kind of good thing, a milestone of sorts.

Well since then I asked my son at dinner one night point blank do you like ___________? (The dog) …And he thought about it and said no mom I’m scared of him. My son has never been scared of any animal.

Even if he woul

I received this email below and have been busy buzzing my contacts. However, I have struggled to gain traction as I get into the research:

"I would love to see you cover some guidance for parents and caregivers of disabled people to help set them up for the future. Joint bank accounts/investments/trusts/power of attorney?

It's a fine balance to give them a say and as much independence as possible without leaving them vulnerable. Unfortunately, it's one of the biggest things that keep us awake at night!

It would be great to see some unbiased info in this area."

Is anyone a caregiver/legal welfare guardian of someone who needs extra care? I would love to hear from you - you can email me at team@moneyhub.co.nz or send me a message on Reddit.

• So far, pages 16-18 of this IHC guidance are very helpful and provide some useful information.
• I spoke to Budget advisors who said using KiwiSaver avoids "why can't I have my money" type of issues, knowing that it can be accessed under hardship or medical. But, again, this puts the onus on the caregiver/guardian to sort out and apply (not easy IMO).
• Overall, it's going to be a dive into the PPPR and all the welfare provisions - while I wasn't the best property law student at law school, some great lawyers (not an oxymoron!) help me with this stuff when it's needed.
• I think legally I'm covered; I'm more looking for people's experiences.

Thanks for reading - I want to make the best go of this as I care about it. If you have anything to share, everything is helpful :)

Apologies in advance, this may be more of a vent than a question. As the title says, I’ve come to understand that a big part of my fucked up brain (years of eating disorders, depression, avoidance of relationships, agoraphobia, etc) could have been caused by the wounds resulting from my parents’ inability to be emotionally present and connected with me. I’ve been in different types of therapy over the years, and it has always ended with more hopelessness and increased my fears/avoidance of relationships and of life in general. Won’t the nature of the therapeutic relationship always be unsatisfying, like my relationship with my parents was? Like a therapist with good boundaries will always be unavailable to an extent and sort of detached. I feel like it’s just cruel and re-traumatizing. Is it ever the case that therapy is the wrong medicine? Real life relationships aren’t feasible either- I have never been able to feel close to anyone. And my mental health has been so shit that I would not make a good friend or partner. Is it just a matter of accepting that I’m not capable of emotional intimacy and connection? I’m afraid if I keep trying and failing that the hopelessness will get to be too much. I’m just at a loss. Thanks for reading this far.

… Update: Just wanted to thank you all for your thoughtful responses! I probably won’t reply to every post but just know that I am reading all of them and I really appreciate your insights.

I (21f) have been a carer for my mum with MS since I was 11. I worked so hard to care for her since childhood that I forgot the impact it would have on me later. This year she was placed in a nursing home as she needs multiple carers so I don’t get paid for caring. I’m receiving benefits but after bills are paid have £90 left for food, toiletries etc every month. I couldn’t go to college as she got worse then so I only have my GCSEs. No work experience other than the fact I had to be a carer, manage bills, repairs, make and attend nhs appointments with or on behalf my mum from a very young age. I’m computer savvy, computer science was one of my GCSEs but excel and other softwares are second nature to me.

Still, I cannot get a single job or interview. If I got an interview I could sell myself as I am confident but just cannot get there, even emailing recruiters and telling them very briefly my caregiving history, that I am willing to learn and happy to respond to any questions they may have didn’t help. Lying on my cv doesn’t work as employers want p45 slips commonly and I don’t want to do that. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried getting an apprenticeship but they’re given to people who can provide employment references. Volunteering work isn’t an option as I’ve been turned down for again more experienced candidates. Volunteering wouldn’t be good for my finances as I’d have to pay for travel also. I apply for almost all jobs and apprenticeships on different sites that requires only GCSEs. Any suggestions on what I do now?