Caffeine Puns

I'd hate for him to fall asleep at the wheel.

Would you call it a cof(fee)?

Get it? a fee, but coffee?

A coffee cat.

... but every time I have it I get coffee.

"One coffee please."
"I'm sorry, our coffeemachine is broken. How about a tea?"
"No thanks, I need some caffeine. Some pep see?"
"How about a Coca Cola?"

But I finally got it down to a tea.

I guess that makes it a Red Bull without a cause.

I mean it is a calf-einated beverage.

I am not one to refuse charry tea.

Because it was just ground this morning

Everyone has to be careful with child punography these days.

• Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

• Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

• Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

• Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

• Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

• Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

• Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

• Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

• Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

• Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

• Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

• Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

• Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

• Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

• Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

• Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

• Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

• Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

• Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

• Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

• Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

• Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

• Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

• Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

• Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

I asked him what chemical it was.

"Caffeine" was his reply.

It was only polite to apologize for my inquisitiveness: It would have kept me up all night trying to work it out.

I work at Speedway, and I was stocking coffee creamers, when this exchange went down;

Me: "Hey, do we have any more of that Stok creamer in the back?"

Him: "Nah, we're actually... out of Stok."

Me: "Get out."

Note: He has a 3 month-old daughter now, so I guess I should get used to it.