A coffee pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rengokufan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Looking for a coffee pun for any TV show/ famous person

Hi guys, I have a lack of creativity myself, so i was wondering whether anyone could help me think of a cool pun for any tv show/ famous person. It is for a marketing subject!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majj_Noz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2016
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Help with a coffee pun?

I've just finished my final paper on Starbucks, Diversity, and Excellence Theory. My professor loves witty titles, but my brain is mush. Suggestions? I can't espresso how much it will help me. Thanks a latte.

Thanks everyone! I loved all of your responses. I titled my paper Brewing Effective Public Relations: Excellence in Diversity at Starbucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hollish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2012
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkwardyeti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2013
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This coffee pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PulpDood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2015
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These 10 Coffee Puns Have Bean Making me Laugh All Day punreal.com/2016/10/10-co…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainofJT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2016
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Coffee pls
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P131NYRFC3
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"

"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
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What is the difference between a person who works in landscaping and someone who collects coffee?

One is a groundskeeper while the other is a grounds keeper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
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I was pouring morning coffee from our bodem and my wife noticed I poured mine first and asked why

I told her this way, she won’t have any grounds for divorce.

Now give me my 7 upvotes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sprintbooks
πŸ“…︎ May 03
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Sad Coffee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jamesbond10000
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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What do you call a sad coffee?

Depresso

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πŸ‘€︎ u/starwarsdude39
πŸ“…︎ May 28
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Almost got arrested for pouring myself a coffee this morning.

It was mugged.

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πŸ“…︎ May 24
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So I’m ordering coffee and the barista is a trainee. They were telling me about how hard making their first specialty drink was..

Naturally I replied β€œI bet there were a latte steps”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hurtbybadart
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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How does Moses make coffee?

Hebrews it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nord-The-Axolotl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
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Dad: Coffee or tea? Son: Coffee.

Dad: Wrong. It's tea.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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What does an optimist who hates coffee need in the morning?

Positivi-tea.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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why did the coffee file a police report?

because It was mugged!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JodeneBorg
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I like women how I like my coffee

Without a penis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pickledust465
πŸ“…︎ May 09
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This low calorie sweetener makes my coffee very Splendad
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
How do you tell others that your Israeli boyfriend made coffee?

Hebrew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/athulkishan
πŸ“…︎ May 18
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This morning, my wife was grinding coffee beans and suddenly said, β€œWe’re through.”

It was grounds for divorce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
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Why did the coffee taste like mud?

It was just ground

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perseus_Turambar
πŸ“…︎ May 16
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This morning I made my hamster an extra strong espresso coffee and crushed some caffeine pills up in his food.

I'd hate for him to fall asleep at the wheel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 20
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A man makes fresh coffee and takes it to his wife in bed....

She drinks it and goes: β€œUgh, this tastes like dirt.”

He responds: β€œWell, honey, it was just ground.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/errorFohOhFoh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
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A local man shows up to his local Starbucks for his daily cup of coffee.

β€œGrande macchiato with oat milk, please.”

The cashier started to process his order, until the man asked β€œWhy are you wearing a surgical mask?”

β€œI’m not”, said the barista, β€œit’s a coughy filter”.

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πŸ“…︎ May 08
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A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee.

The man take a sip and spits it out. He turns to the waiter and says,

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!"

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the man and says,

"But sir, it's fresh ground!"

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
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My coffee maker said some really horrible things about me while it was brewing my coffee.

That’s the last time I have a dark roast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
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How does Darth Vader like his coffee...

On the dark side...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serendipity_7
πŸ“…︎ May 12
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Coffee beans must have the lowest self-esteem...

They’re always getting roasted!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
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Drinking ice coffee in coronatine

Ice-o-latted

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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What sings and smells like coffee?

Frank Sumatra

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stubble
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
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My ex wife drowned in coffee

Terrible way to go, but I'm just glad it was instant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmac6691
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
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Why did the coffee go to the police?

It got mugged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
How does Moses make coffee?

He-brews it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Faisal_AQ1
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Depresso

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
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Did you hear about the coffee snob whose wife bought him Folgers for his birthday?

I'd say that's grounds for divorce.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Romeo_G_Detlev_Jr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got MUGGED

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
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I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself…

I really need to wash out the mugs...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
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My wife says she can't fall asleep after drinking coffee. For me I will the opposite...

...I can't drink coffee after I fall asleep.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkmeatchicken
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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I tried to get 8 baby cows to drink coffee.

But only one calf in eight did.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
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Got fired from my job at the coffee factory

Boss said it was because I had no filter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVampireQueen7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
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Coffee Coffee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirchivvi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
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My roommate accidentally spilled his coffee grinds this morning...

I told him he was grounded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/momo_marin2897
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
How does a Jewish man make coffee?

Hebrews it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tru-Queer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
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Punny coffee cup
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyssanoid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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To the person who stole my lamp, my coffee and my parrot:

I dont know how you sleep at night

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee call the police?

Because he was mugged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wutisthis66204
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Which news organization has the best coffee?

The French Press

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ejly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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I had this joke about coffee but I can't tell it yet.

It's still brewing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZSkellActual
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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I thought the pattern on my coffee mug was defective...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honeyvcombs99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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I want to drink my coffee, smoke my cigarette, browse reddit on my phone all at the same time but I only have 2 hands. I wish I had another set of hands for this.

I think that would be pretty handy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShaggyB
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
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It's okay to insult your coffee

It's been roasted before

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged

^PS ^sorry ^if ^this ^has ^been ^used ^before

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nico_Di_Angelo666
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
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I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when I got it there was too much milk and not enough coffee

Better latte than never I suppose

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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I love making coffee every morning

It’s always grounds for a good time

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geezard9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
How did the Rabbi make his coffee?

Hebrewed it

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey-Tribbiani92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
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There are 70 ways to be happy 1 is coffee and the rest is

69

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?

They are Santa's star bucks

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chance2399
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the Jewish man get his coffee?

Hebrews it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeccinSpud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad once tried making coffee. When he tasted it he said "ahh, like making love in a canoe."

I asked if it was that good, his smile faded and he looked me dead in the eye as he said no, its fucking close to water. He poured it down the drain without losing focus and walked out of the kitchen

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Why does Santa only buy coffee from Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Comit and Donner and Blitzen?

They are his star bucks.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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I accidentally spilled my coffee on my laptop

It won’t Sleep now

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
Marijuana and coffee are my favorite combination.

They're the reason ice mocha a lot of weed

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
How do flamenco dancers take their coffee?

Au lait!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyfanwyTiffany
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My son tried coffee for the first time today and said it tasted like dirt

I told him "It was just ground this morning."

πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_A_Freakin_Joke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you wake up on a workday and realize you ran out of coffee?

A depresso

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I like stirring my coffee while it's very hot.

Does that make me a hip stirrer?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
I see there's a new express coffee delivery service in town

It's call Purcolator.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moosetappropriate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
An astronaut was trying to make coffee on the space station...

Astronaut 1: "I want to make coffee but I can't find any milk."

Astronaut 2: "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."

πŸ‘︎ 814
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewzilla37
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you get coffee in Russia?

Tsarbucks.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/writerpathologist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Computer Coffee..

I was telling my wife a story about a programmer that was able to run a computer script on a Coffee Machine.

It would brew the coffee for the person exactly as they reached the machine, my wife jokingly said, "he speaks computer coffee."

That is when Dad Joke came in and I said, you could say that he speaks Java.

She walked outside without saying anything and stared at the yard for a while.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scopecontro1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
You know how Moses makes his coffee?

Hebrews it. Ha!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rasberryjam5151
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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According to my girlfriend, I'm a "hipster" for enjoying avocado flavoured coffee...

Well, I guess I better drink it before it gets too cool

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaridrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
I like my coffee like I like slaves

Free

πŸ‘︎ 293
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I like my coffee like I like my women

Fast to wake me up when there’s donuts!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinnyblanc00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you insult your coffee beans before brewing them?

To make sure they are well roasted.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aggressive_Pear
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do Russian astronauts only drink black coffee?

Because in space, no one here use cream

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The other day I went to get coffee with my boyfriend. Waiting in line, I asked him what he was getting and he said "Soy Latte"

I was proud to immediately come up with "Hola Latte, soy Dad!"

Turns out he doesn't know the least bit Spanish and this was lost on him...

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohjustforgetit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the secret to great cold brew coffee?

Using a brrrrr grinder

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewestAckount
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
You just coughed in my coffee...

Now I have a cough-fee.

I was way too proud of that one this morning.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dexterrrr1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report

It got mugged

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jaackyboi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sad coffee?

A Depresso

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrispyNugget17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp and my parrot

I don’t know how you sleep at night

πŸ‘︎ 188
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IcyFrogg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sad cup of coffee

A depresso

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How does moses make his coffee

Hebrews it

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MakeAWishKid9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How does Moses make coffee?

Hebrews it

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PlusUltra__
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Depresso

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PathogenicPotato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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