De vine wine puns between my husband and I
πŸ‘︎ 217
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stokesy6th
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Can I think of a red wine pun?

You bet Shiraz I can!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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5 wine puns! 4 shit and 1 that's actually alright. youtube.com/watch?v=sWYvj…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elijah__James
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Got my wife with wine pun

I was drinking wine with my wife, and she asked me if it was good, to which I responded:

"It's grape!" groans "Why are you wine-ing ?" groans intensify "Want me to put a cork in it?" facepalm desk "Vine, I'll stop."

She then pun-ished me with no more wine.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zxithedead
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2015
🚨︎ report
If a friend left you 12 bottles of wine on your doorstep, would you be extremely....

Grapeful.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My partner turned 40 today so I gave him some red, red wine and told him

UB40

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TL4Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What do you call an expert wine taster from the horn of Africa?

A Somalier

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peva3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Never mess with your wife’s wine!

I just added fruit and lemonade to my wife’s and now she’s sangria than ever before!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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If you were 8 years old when "Red, Red Wine" was released

UB40 now.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine.

He's a bordeaux collie.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?

Because i wanted tequila.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hengeek
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Red wine and fish don't mix....

In fact, mine died.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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The Pun Explosion on this Ad at the local Wine Store
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howardleung
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How old are you when you start liking Red wine?

U B 40

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Creed227
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do they sell red wine reduction in stock pots?

Because doing it yourself is a paste of wine.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joe4nna
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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Tennis player Sampras needed rice wine and sent me to buy a bottle without giving me cash...

For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My 16 year old son spilled wine while I was doing my daily breathing exercises..

Smells like teen spirit

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stent_kush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
When I came in at work this morning, my boss told me my breath smelled like wine.

Ofcourse it does! With my salary I can't afford any Champagne!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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The doctor said I should reduce my wine consumption...

After a test for my blood type came back as Cabern-A positive.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.

So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's sangria than ever

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m going to start a brand of rice wine and I’ll call it for fucks.

Oh..... for fucks sake.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Briccone1979
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife had me put her wine in a basket

It turned out to be a fiasco

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tr1Optimum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a joke about wine in my office, no one laughed

It did not age well

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ViShAl2212
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend liked to linger in the bathtub and drink wine...

He was a soak.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Not my first pun but second pun here. Don't WINE about my Photoshop skills.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/c_lassi_k
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is Ireland like a bottle of wine?

It has a cork in it!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leatherfrog
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Shaun the sheep wine...
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zaffhome
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my dad that "This wine smells funny"

He replied "because it's Shartonnay".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rwwterp
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What's Russians' favourite wine?

Sauvignon Blyat

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mongolskimongol
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Opening a bottle of wine is easy

But it’s also easy to screw it up

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJNotMyRealName
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one bottle of wine say to the other?

When we work together, we are a grape team!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/walker_922
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What the name of the best wine shop in town?

Best cellar

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewieShot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
At what age do you start loving red wine?

When UB40.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDDDouble
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A local wine shop has jokes...
πŸ‘︎ 201
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JazzerAtHeart
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I have some questions about your honey wine...

...and I want them answered immeadiately.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fizzmore
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How do Russians say they don't want any wine?

Cabernyet

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImNotThaaatDrunk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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This contractor knocked on my door today and convinced me to invest in wine storage

He was a stellar cellar seller

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My mom asked me if I wanted a glass of wine. I said to her β€œwine not”
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Mullet wine is my favourite winter drink
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/owlaven
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve trained my dog to bring me red wine.

Hes a Bordeaux collie.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spudgun81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.

Recently I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's sangria than ever.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.

I added some fruit and orange juiceβ€”now she’s sangria than ever.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I've trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine.

It's a Bordeaux collie.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huse789
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.

So I added some fruit and lemonade to it, and now she sangria than ever.

πŸ‘︎ 423
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report

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