Mashed up dates, chocolate chips, peanut butter, granola, almonds....delicious homemade granola bars
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Today I went out searching for shredded coconut coated in chocolate.

They call me The Bounty Hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
What was the name of the Egyptian that was buried with chocolate and nuts?

Pharaoh Rocher

πŸ‘︎ 388
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evac95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call a miscellaneous pile of marshmallows, chocolate, and gram-crackers?

A Smoregasbord

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastedSoaps
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
The FDA recently mandated that chocolate has to contain 12% cacao instead of the current 10%.

Looks like they're raising the chocolate bar.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Atlantic14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
I’m the most loved magician at the chocolate factory.

I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smok000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
I felt bad for eating my Jewish friend's coin shaped chocolate candy he had purchased to given his children at Hanukkah...

Pangs of gelt haunt me to this day!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to make my flourless chocolate torte this week, but with a few changes to the recipe.

I guess you could say I dabble in torte reform.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RangerHikes
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be gross, but they were actually pretty good! Turns out...

...that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.

Preferred pronouns are Her/she

πŸ‘︎ 166
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.

Well...

I’ve got a few twix up my sleeve.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lexflexluthor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
Chocolab chocolates with puns v.redd.it/rfky4o128fb41
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/veronique27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
What’s Boris Johnson’s favourite chocolate bar?

A Double Decker.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_lande_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
I just made a half gallon of Chocolate Tea

It's not really chocolate...just a lil chocolate tea

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StoopSign
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
Archaeologist digging in a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts

Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Christopher1295
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
Chocolate chip dish technically makes this a... Desserted island
πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JustARandomBucket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sheep dipped in chocolate?

A Hershey Baa

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/j8L2850
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
I love chocolate

Hard candy is for suckers

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bandito210
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
"Bowl of Chocolate Mousse" by David Gilhooly, 1989
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/banditoroyal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?

Plane chocolate

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nkiehl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?

Her/she

πŸ‘︎ 150
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Life is like a box of chocolates...

It sucks for people with diabetes.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zachp787
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I had my front door replaced with a door entirely made out of chocolate with a ganache handle and caramel accents.

Don't knock it until you've tried it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My mate hates it when I put his chocolate bars in different wrappers.

Tonight he really got his Snickers in a Twix

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the pirate say after spilling his chocolate drink in a container of Bacardi?

Yoo-hoo hoo in a bottle of rum!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I was so happy when my wife told me she's making Indian food for dinner that I wanted to do something nice and bought her flowers and chocolate.

I guess it's just her way to curry favor.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rasdit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone told me a joke about chocolate bars earlier

It wasn't very good thought, so I just Snickered

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaffa_54
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
It's no wonder women love chocolate so much. Their pronouns give it away.

Her/she

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Chocolate Chips
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CriticalGeode
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?

Hearse-sheys!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What's an Australian's favourite chocolate?

Koala-ty street

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ballbag94
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A new mummy was found in Egypt. It was covered in chocolate and nuts.

The archeologists believe he was known as Pharaoh Rocher!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the spookiest kind of chocolate?

Kinder Boo-enos

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My dream girl is made of chocolate

I Hershey kisses good too

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a dryers favourite chocolate?

Lindt

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Chocolate Rain
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Habbasha
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What are the chocolate bar's preferred pronouns?

Her-She

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WickershamBrotha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is a chocolate cake a bad partner?

Because it will dessert you

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
M&Ms and Eminem are both chocolate on the inside.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/catman_antistar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What are a chocolate bar's preferred gender pronouns?

Her/she.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a mix up at the chocolate factory

Better not get your Snickers in a Twix

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sammy_Colon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.

They'll kill your dog.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Be sure to whisper after a chocolatier tells you they’re out of chocolate. You don’t wanna startle them.

They’re just an ear now.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DamnYouRobot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Chocolate brand
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomlyBroken2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a drag queen's favorite chocolate?

GoDIVA

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DJSkate
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Had to return my chocolate chess set to Thornton's

Me: I demand a refund!

Assistant: what's wrong with it?

Me: It's stale mate.

Assistant: Surely not?

Me: Check mate.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What does someone call a Cat shaped chocolate?

A Kit Kat

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JDGames03
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Vanilla, Chocolate, sometimes orange,

That's just the icing on the cake.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/--dude-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Dove chocolates

Taste way better than their soap

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebwit
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a bunch of ants eating my chocolate bar on the kitchen counter.

There is life on Mars.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who likes chocolate

A magician who has a couple of twix up her sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Drolkradeht
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a goalkeeper’s favorite chocolate?

Godiva

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ajax96
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
When I went to culinary school, the bullies used to cover me with chocolate and cream, and then put a cherry on my head.

Life was tough in the gateau.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Willy Wonka's chocolate factory has been closing early a lot lately.

Maybe they're short staffed.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What gender pronouns are you supposed to use on a chocolate bar

her/she

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGamerBoy015
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I put my mates chocolate bars in different wrappers. Needless to say,

He got his snickers in a twix.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My son wants to see Marshmello partner up with two other EDM Musicians wearing helmets, named Chocolate and Graham Krackers...

He said he'd really like to hear S'more Music.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TKJ
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts...

They believe it is Pharaoh Rocher...

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aabesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you turn white chocolate into dark chocolate?

You turn off the lights.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NickWilde992
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Ancient Egyptian mummy they found buried with chocolate?

They identified him as Pharaoh Rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aidanadriana
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a tennis pro's favorite chocolate?

Federo Roger

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Redditraph2002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Milk Chocolate and Dark Chocolate?

Three letters.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KnifeHandStrike
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.

They believe it's Pharaoh Roche.

πŸ‘︎ 306
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woodceilingfan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a dream I was eating chocolate pudding.

I woke up with a spoon in my butt

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a porno yesterday in which a chicken and a cow both drink chocolate milk.

It's called Brown Chicken, Brown Cow

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dirty_old_man1972
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you start a chocolate car?

With Yorkies

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Benjyd21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. Kids would jump out and put whipped cream, glacΓ© cherries and chocolate sprinkles on people all the time.

I lived in the gateau.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Forgetful Francesca had a lot of items on her list as she headed to the Super Store... celery, cinnamon, oatmeal, mint, mustard and chocolate.

Upon arrival, she couldn't remember which were groceries and which were paint colors.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Life is like a box of chocolates

It doesn’t last as long if you’re fat

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CdotBigz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago..

..and it hasn't arrived yet.

Boy, it's taking its sweet time getting here.

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
🚨︎ report
How did George Michael end up with chocolate all over his hands?

He was careless with his Whisper

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Caius0607
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I couldn't get the chocolates out of my advent calender today

Foiled again.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MiiiiitchC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Where do single chocolate bars go to hook-up?

Kinder.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Felix has 150 chocolate bars. He eats 130 of them. What is Felix left with?

Diabetes

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SupermanFSF
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What is an Australians favourite chocolate?

Koalatystreet

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What tastes better than chocolate?

A tongue

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Egglamation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What gender pronouns do you use for chocolate bars?

Her/she

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSoloKing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
In Jamaica they sell apple pie for $2.50, chicken pot pie for $3.50 and pecan for $4.00 Puerto Rico they sell Boston cream pie for $4.00, chocolate cream pie for $3.00 and blueberry pie for 3.50. In the Dominican they sell chicken pot pie for $4.00, apple pie $3.50, and blueberry for $5.00.

And those my friends are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whoathunderroad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Two guys are talking about life and one asks the other, β€œso, what do you do?” The other guy says β€œI own a chocolate factory and employ a bunch of oompah loompas”

The first guy replies, β€œOh, Willy?”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chickmagnick05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
A couple were arguing over which of them gets to finish preparing their son's chocolate cake...

It was a custardy battle.

πŸ‘︎ 708
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vysken
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2015
🚨︎ report
The vicar's ice-cream was full of chocolate fish...

It was his sundae school.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new chocolate arboreal marsupial bioluminescence?

It's cocoa-koala light.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
🚨︎ report
i need help fellow r/puns residents i need to come up with 80’s themed puns for a veggie tray and chocolate mouse

Edit: I was not born in the 80’s I will not get any of the references

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yaboi_15
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates,

they'll kill your dog.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?

Her/she

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
🚨︎ report

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