I got thrown out of the Facebook puns group for a post about ice cream.
They just said "How dairy!"
How would Missy Elliott advertise her ice cream shop?
"Get yo' free cone 🎵"
(credit: guy at work told this one in a meeting)
What do you call a scoop of ice cream in your hand?
A local Ice-cream vendor was found dead in his van surrounded by sprinkles...
Police said he'd topped himself
What's that Italian dessert called where you pour espresso coffee over ice cream?
Everyone I ask can't remember either.
An ice-cream van overturned in our road....
Avoid the area, as it has all been coned off.
What did the barista say when he forgot to add vanilla ice cream to the espresso?
What's the name of the dessert consisting of Espresso poured over Vanilla ice cream?
It was on the tip of my tongue, but Affogato.
Why won't Rick Astly ever take his girlfriend out for an ice cream date?
Cuz he'll never dessert you...
I used to know the name of a dessert where you pour espresso over a scoop of ice cream.
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."
The ice cream man came by
What did Thumper get charged with when he stole a slurp of Bambi's ice-cream cone?
What did the werewolf order from the ice cream shop?
Why did the ice cream machine need money?
Burt: Ernie, should we go out for ice cream?
Ernie: Sherbert
EDIT: Wow, I'm amazed at the upvotes.. Totally made my day. I came up with this yesterday while staring at bees pollinating our flowers. Random.
Why didn’t my boyfriend laugh at my awesome ice cream joke?
Because he was laughtose intolerant
Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Why should you give someone ice cream when you want revenge?
Because revenge is a dish best served cold
My wife asked me if I ate the ice cream she had in the freezer ?
I told her no. I ate it on the couch.
An ice cream man was found unconscious in his van today, covered in chocolate sprinkles, hundreds and thousands, raspberry sauce, caramel & nuts.
Police believe he tried to top himself.
What do you call melted ice cream
why did the airline company mandate that vanilla ice cream be served on all aircraft
so that they could make plain plane jokes
What is a time travelers favorite ice cream?
Why couldn’t the colour blind man sell ice cream?
What is Homer Simpsons favorite ice cream?
I've just lost my job as an ice cream tester.
My friend Bert asked me for some ice cream
A woman checks out of target with two apples, a banana, and a quart of ice cream. The cashier asks, “Are you single?” The woman replies, “Yes, how could you tell?”
Papa Mai Ice Cream Khaa lun?
Nahi Khaa lun, chalo ghar.
If an ice-cream franchise can't pay its power bills...
I guess it will go into liquidation
Why wouldn't the Army cook ever serve cake, ice cream or pies?
He was afraid of being charged with dessert-tion.
My kid asked today where I learned to make ice-cream
I answered 'in sundae school', he laugh-snorted, my wife gave me the look we all know here.
Did you know people without feet cannot eat ice cream?
They are lack toes intolerant.
I saw an ice cream holder made of polymerized siloxanes at the store today
But I thought "that's just a silly cone"
Why didn't the hipster like his ice-cream?
A Penguin sent his car off to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...
He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.
Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.
Penguin: Ah no that’s just ice cream.
I thought about buying an ice cream truck and starting up my own business
But I heard the ice cream market is a rocky road
My 4yo daughter was playing ice cream shop, pretending that little pieces of chalk were the ice cream flavors. She asked me what flavor I wanted
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”
Why didn't you eat your espresso and ice cream?
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