I got thrown out of the Facebook puns group for a post about ice cream.

They just said "How dairy!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ratbas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
How would Missy Elliott advertise her ice cream shop?

"Get yo' free cone 🎡"

(credit: guy at work told this one in a meeting)

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesnearn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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What do you call a scoop of ice cream in your hand?

Palm Sundae

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prophesier-Little
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
A local Ice-cream vendor was found dead in his van surrounded by sprinkles...

Police said he'd topped himself

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What's that Italian dessert called where you pour espresso coffee over ice cream?

Everyone I ask can't remember either.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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An ice-cream van overturned in our road....

Avoid the area, as it has all been coned off.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the barista say when he forgot to add vanilla ice cream to the espresso?

Oops, affagato.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hansadventures
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the name of the dessert consisting of Espresso poured over Vanilla ice cream?

It was on the tip of my tongue, but Affogato.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why won't Rick Astly ever take his girlfriend out for an ice cream date?

Cuz he'll never dessert you...

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to know the name of a dessert where you pour espresso over a scoop of ice cream.

But affogato 'bout it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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The ice cream man came by
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whippymcdumbass
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Thumper get charged with when he stole a slurp of Bambi's ice-cream cone?

Assault-lick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Animakitty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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What did the werewolf order from the ice cream shop?

AWOOOOOOtbeer float!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andi-wankenobi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the ice cream machine need money?

It was broke

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dizzie222
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Burt: Ernie, should we go out for ice cream?

Ernie: Sherbert

EDIT: Wow, I'm amazed at the upvotes.. Totally made my day. I came up with this yesterday while staring at bees pollinating our flowers. Random.

πŸ‘︎ 865
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyhottub
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Why didn’t my boyfriend laugh at my awesome ice cream joke?

Because he was laughtose intolerant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hankyep
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do you learn to make ice cream?

Sunday School!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ljpicklefeet20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you give someone ice cream when you want revenge?

Because revenge is a dish best served cold

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if I ate the ice cream she had in the freezer ?

I told her no. I ate it on the couch.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeenYourTarget
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
An ice cream man was found unconscious in his van today, covered in chocolate sprinkles, hundreds and thousands, raspberry sauce, caramel & nuts.

Police believe he tried to top himself.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Neapawlitan ice cream
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardedrabbit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call melted ice cream

SΓ€agen-Dazs

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/X_ENV_x
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
It's ice cream!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
why did the airline company mandate that vanilla ice cream be served on all aircraft

so that they could make plain plane jokes

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crypt-lord
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a time travelers favorite ice cream?

Ripple.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the colour blind man sell ice cream?

His cones don’t work.

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Homer Simpsons favorite ice cream?

Cookie D'OH!

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpazMasterK
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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I've just lost my job as an ice cream tester.

I couldn't do sundaes...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolcalmjeff
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Bert asked me for some ice cream

β€œSherbet,” I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CamerFlage
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman checks out of target with two apples, a banana, and a quart of ice cream. The cashier asks, β€œAre you single?” The woman replies, β€œYes, how could you tell?”

β€œBecause you’re ugly.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/some-ginger-dude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Papa Mai Ice Cream Khaa lun?

Nahi Khaa lun, chalo ghar.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shakuni_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If an ice-cream franchise can't pay its power bills...

I guess it will go into liquidation

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beware_the_noid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why wouldn't the Army cook ever serve cake, ice cream or pies?

He was afraid of being charged with dessert-tion.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My kid asked today where I learned to make ice-cream

I answered 'in sundae school', he laugh-snorted, my wife gave me the look we all know here.

πŸ‘︎ 214
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonazzzz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know people without feet cannot eat ice cream?

They are lack toes intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blochow2001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw an ice cream holder made of polymerized siloxanes at the store today

But I thought "that's just a silly cone"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elDalvini
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the hipster like his ice-cream?

It was way too vanilla.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A Penguin sent his car off to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...

He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.

Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.

Penguin: Ah no that’s just ice cream.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JalepenoPeppers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Ice Cream Cone
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/z_Elektrisk_z
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought about buying an ice cream truck and starting up my own business

But I heard the ice cream market is a rocky road

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightAngelic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My 4yo daughter was playing ice cream shop, pretending that little pieces of chalk were the ice cream flavors. She asked me what flavor I wanted

Chalkolate

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/krigito
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought to myself, β€œThe streets seem strangely desserted…”

πŸ‘︎ 182
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retgits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't you eat your espresso and ice cream?

Affogato.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report

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