Dad: Hey son, did you know that Iced Mocha?
Son: Huh? Iced Mocha?
Dad: Yeah! Iced Mocha lot of weed.
It was a mockery
Because it was ground.
Coughee.
They're the reason ice mocha a lot of weed
Ordered a cafe mocha at a ghetto McDs. African American "Barrista" asks me "you want the chocolate drizzle?"
I replied: "drizzle my nizzle" in the most white snoop dogg voice i could muster.
Barrista laughed. Daughter shrank. I then held my head high for the rest of the day. F'n proud was I.
The man frowns. โWhat do you mean itโs a secret? Whatโs the special today? Is it a latte?โ
The barista shakes her head.
โA mocha?โ
She shakes her head again.
โOh, come on! Tell me! A cappuccino?โ
She shakes her head.
โAn affogato?โ
She shakes her head.
The man is getting frustrated at this point. โCan you at least give me a clue!?โ
The barista thinks for a moment, then points at a jar on the counter. โOk, the special is in this jar.โ
โWhat is it?โ
โI canโt tell you. Itโs a secret.โ
The man, enraged at this point, tries to grab the jar.
The barista grabs it too.
They fight for control and the man wretches it away only for the jar to fall on the ground and its contents spill out onto the floor.
The man stares, โItโs just been normal coffee this whole time?!โ
The barista shrugs, โI guess you spilled the beans.โ
They kept yelling "Ariana, grande mocha.
So at the cafe that I work at, we have these punch cards, where, when you buy ten drinks, you get a free one. This customer rolls up through our drive through and this happens:
Customer: "Can I get a large white mocha with whip?"
Coworker: "Sure thing! That will be $3.95 today."
Customer: pulls out full punch card "You mean FREE ninety five?"
Oh my god.
Edit: I acedentally a word
I've just finished my final paper on Starbucks, Diversity, and Excellence Theory. My professor loves witty titles, but my brain is mush. Suggestions? I can't espresso how much it will help me. Thanks a latte.
Thanks everyone! I loved all of your responses. I titled my paper Brewing Effective Public Relations: Excellence in Diversity at Starbucks.
I made a salted Carmel mocha this morning and didn't try it until we were on our way to Lowe's
Me:"I think I added a little too much salt to my mocha."
My wife:"is it a-salting"
I'm still giggling about it
