I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
How do you go a whole day without sleeping?
You just sleep at night.
My boss's kid told told him this this morning. lol
What do you call a sleeping girlfriend?
Anything you want, she can't hear you!
Sleeping comes so naturally to me.
I could do it with my eyes closed.
Would better fit here, original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Would better fit here, [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Our neighbour's 6 year old son was sleeping in their house, I've seen it and called the Cops right away
I took a picture of my son sleeping earlier today.
Then I sent the picture to the FBI as evidence of a kid napping.
What is the worst part about sleeping like a log
You could end up in the fireplace when you wake up
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
Cows have to stand all day and stand while sleeping at night
Their legs have to be pretty beefy to do that
I cut lumber for a living, but I keep sleeping on the job.
As you can tell, I'm a slumberjack.
What do bears call people in sleeping bags?
Bearritos.
This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/
Our cow just gave birth and she's been sleeping better...
now that she's de-calf-einated.
My five year old daughter, wearing a Sleeping Beauty dress, casually playing with Legos: "ROAR ROAR ROARRRR!"
Me: "Are you roaring at me or is that a Lego monster?"
Her: "Its me."
Me: "Why are you roaring at me?"
Her: "Because I'm Aurora!"
My five year old daughter, everyone. She came up with that on her own. I've never felt more proud!
he's sleeping on the couch
I’m getting pretty good at sleeping
Why do dolphins use sleeping bags?
For all in tents and porpoises.
I'm so good at sleeping
I can do it with my eyes closed.
Did you know Jeff Bezos has trouble sleeping?
Unless he has his pajamazon
I once went on a date that ended with me and the girl sleeping together. After sex she lit a cigarette and told me me all about her hobby: collecting roadkill and pinning it to her wall. Well, there's no way I could see her after that...
Smoking is such a turn off.
My Dalmatian has trouble sleeping
What do you call a criminal sleeping in a tent?
My wife was surprisingly happy when she found out I was sleeping with another girl
Our daughter was happy she was okay with it as well
I found my son sleeping in a tub of peas.
“May he rest in peas,” i said.
What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
Warning: Don't sleep beneath someone sleeping in a hammock...
...or you'll be under a rest.
My son is almost 3, and frantically calls me into his room when he should be sleeping. Dad! Dad! Put your finger in my ear... so I do...
"Get outta h-ear!", he says to me.
Made me so proud. Unprompted dad jokes from our little apprentices are just so great.
What do you call a performer who has trouble sleeping?
Some say Chivalry is dead, but I think it’s just sleeping...
...On account of all the good knights.
Why should people with heart disease avoid sleeping outdoors?
Because camping is in tents.
Im a master at sleeping
I can do it with my eyes closed!
So my wife and I were sleeping...
And we have 2 jerk wad cats that get the zoomies nightly at around 3 am. They started chasing each other upstairs above our bedroom...
My wife: omg is there an elephant upstairs?
Me: shhhhhh....we dont talk about him.
Then I got hit with a pillow.
Once a year I celebrate getting a sleeping place all to myself.
My son said "daddy ,when I die I hope I die like uncle Ricky ,sleeping"
"and not like the passengers on the bus he was driving"
I said to my daughter "The cows are out sleeping in the field." She said "What's that got to do with anything? "
I said "It's pasture bedtime."
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
Sleeping Is so easy
I can do it with my eyes closed
I told my daughter to go to bed because the cows are sleeping. She asked what’s that go to do with anything..
I said it’s because it’s pasture bedtime.
If you notice cows sleeping in a field...
Does it mean it’s pasture bedtime?
What do bears call people in sleeping bags?
Bearritos.
This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/
If you notice cows sleeping in a field
does that mean it's pasture bedtime?
Why do you never see cows sleeping?
Because they go to bed pasture bedtime.
I'm so good at sleeping
I can do it with my eyes closed!
I'm so good at sleeping
I can do it with my eyes closed
Why do people have trouble sleeping?
It's so easy. I can do it with my eyes closed.
I'm so good at sleeping...
I can do it with my eyes closed!
Some people have difficulties sleeping.
But I can do it with my eyes closed.
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