I would love to get paid to sleep.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did
Not screaming and yelling like everyone else in the car was when he drove over the cliff
My 2 yo daughter doesn’t like to go to sleep.
Some nights I feel like a cop chasing a robber trying to catch her so I can put her to sleep, as she “steels” away in various rooms of the house...
You could say she’s “evading a-rest”...
What are CIA agents called when they go to sleep ?
My kid asked "why do you go to sleep on the toilet so often?"
I said, "I always follow where my legs go".
So scientists says that students need to sleep 8 - 10 hours
Why are cops allowed to sleep on the job?
Because they have the right to a rest!
Why do you want to sleep in the woods?
Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
—
My 9yr old son just told me this 🤪
The key to falling asleep quickly is to sleep at the edge of the bed.
"Hey Dad, Go to Sleep!"
No son, I'm resisting-a-rest.
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time,
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
What did the sleep deprived fremen say to the noisy sand worms?
I am very expert when going to sleep.
I can do with my eyes closed.
Old Jed Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies) got in an accident that left him with a glass eye. It was uncomfortable to sleep in over night so he took it out and hired a servant to watch it.
It was his Jed Eye Master.
Why did the bicycle go to sleep ?
How do you put baby alien to sleep ?
I read that Shakira struggles to sleep and get comfortable in bed.
Apparently its because her hips don’t lie
For me, the urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away...
...a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?
When you hit the pillow to go to sleep
It's like a portal to another REM.
What do you call a Jedi that can't get to sleep?
Who tucked King Tut to sleep?
What did the lawyer say when he put his luggage to sleep?
I sent my daughter to prison because she didn't want to sleep
Sleep experts reckon that in order to stay optimally healthy, you need "6-8 hours a day".
That's me buggered then, my day has 24 hours.
I woke up at 3 in the morning, made this, and fell back to sleep.
Where do Lycans go to sleep?
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
My son refused to go to sleep
I told him he was guilty of resisting a rest.
When is it appropriate to sleep in a bathtub?
When you're feeling drained.
What puts cattle to sleep?
In my my neighbor's home, their huge dog frequently sleeps at the landing at the top of their tall staircase causing a possible tripping hazard. Good advice to them....
Persons in their household should watch their steps, particularly early risers.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
When I die, I want to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather.
Not like the people screaming in his car
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
What happens when CIA goes to sleep?
When I die, I want to go out peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...
Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
How do astronaut parents soothe their baby to sleep?
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time,
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
I came so close to singing "the lion sleeps tonight"
I was only a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
For me, the urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away...
a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
What does the FBI do when they go to sleep?
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time...
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
I want to die like my grandpa did, in his sleep
Not screaming like the people in the back of his car.
The sudden urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
I want to die like my grandpa did, in his sleep.
Not screaming like the people in the back seat of his car.
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