Dream Puns

This morning I woke up and my pillow was gone.

Today is the 13th anniversary of my father passing and this was my favorite joke that he used to tell. Enjoy.

Will beheading there tomorrow.

"Stairs don't talk!"

I was like, 0mg.

Turns out it was just a Fanta sea

It was never the right time, so he spent his whole life waiting.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas.

But that sort of thing stick in your mind.

I’ll beheading there shortly

Edit: Thanks for the silver. My first ever award!

She said, “What would you do when you finally see it?”

I said, “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”

When you dream in color, is it a pigment of your imagination?

I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”

Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.

"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."

"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."

The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."

It was a night mare.

Who am I to dis-a-brie?

He has lofty ambitions.

Annette.

We all had to wear diapers and we quickly recognised that masks in 2020 were not that bad.

I was like 0mg.

The boxing commission said my right hook was illegal.

My wife said, “What are you going to do when you finally see it?”

Me: I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

I thought I was in-sine!

I tried, but I didn't make it.

But it just turned out to be a pigment of my imagination.

Oneiromancy.

IT WAS SIR EEL

Czech Mate!

...She went from studying faults to double-faults.

I was like, 0mg.

I was like 0mg

I woke up exhausted!

and I woke up exhausted.

I was like, 0mg.

I was like, 0mg

I woke up exhausted.

I woke up this morning and my pillow was gone.

When I woke up my pillow was gone

I woke up exhausted

It was a Fanta Sea

I woke up exhausted

I woke up exhausted.

Who am I to diss a brie?

I woke up exhausted!

I was like 0mg.