I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT I KNIGHTED AN ELECTRIC FISH.....

IT WAS SIR EEL

πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
I saw a female horse in my dream

It was a nightMARE

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
What's a blind person's dream year?

20/20

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
The man of our dreams
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rooteen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
Ever dream of a world where desserts are endless?

I cannoli imagine.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
I had a bad dream last night

I dreamt that I was a tailpipe, needless to say when I woke up I was exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hanksvedin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Last night, I had a dream that I was a muffler

I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmk100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
I had a dream I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...

It was a fanta sea

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UnluckyLiterature
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
A wet dream is a dream cum true.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hillenium
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
I keep being awakened by dreams of Indian dishes that use a complex combination of spices or herbs, usually including ground turmeric, cumin, coriander, ginger, and fresh or dried chilies...

It's a re-curry-ing nightmare.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
I keep having this reoccurring dream that I’m a horse

I had it last night, that’s five nights on the trott!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spudbrain5470
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
I took a nap at 2p.m. and had a bad dream.

I basically had an afternoonmare.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cynicusme
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Woke up with this joke from a dream I had last night. β€œWhat personality trait is the most cleansing?”

Good Moral Fiber.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lefthandedfreak
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
I had a dream about this joke

What do you call a french mushroom when they’ve won a bunch of awards? πŸ„

champignons

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
Sweet dreams are made of cheese.

Who am I to diss a brie?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

I guess you could say it was more of a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leftonasournote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
The other night, I had a dream about being chased by an armored horse.

It was a knight mare.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EGOfoodie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
My wife keeps on having disturbed dreams, shouting things like β€œHobbit!”, β€œMordor!”, and β€œGandalf!”...

Always Tolkien in her sleep...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/articElite0
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
I feel like I am living in a Abbott and Costello inspired dream..

-WHO wants you to wash your hands.

-Who does?

-Yes

-Who wants me to wash may hands?

-Yes, WHO wants you to wash your hands and practice social distancing.

-I don't know who. My mom?

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jgpitre
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
What is a mechanic's wet dream

MΓΆtorhead

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SebastianLi1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
I had a dream I was eating a giant, delicious marshmallow

When I woke my pillow was missing....... 🀨

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grag01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda

It was a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joebaby1975
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of world does a bears dream?

A world with no bear-iers

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
I keep having dreams about Tom Jones

"is that common?"

It's not unusual

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream

I was playing a woodwind instrument in a concert hall. In my underpants.

I was the flute of the room.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmdeemer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg!

πŸ‘︎ 657
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuglytofunky
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in an orange ocean.

I woke up and realized it was a Fanta-Sea

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MattBatz1991
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
I tried to tell me wife about a dream I had where I was weaving the hair of the Philadelphia Flyer's mascot into intricate braids...

She was disgusted, and told me she didn't want the Knit-ty Gritty details.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor.

Actually it's probably more of a knight mare.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
It's my dream to become the CEO of Subway, if for no other reason than to get rid of the horrible job title "Sandwich Artist."

I just feel like they need a more accurate job title, like Sub Humans.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jagsfreak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I dream about making cheese for a living.

I wake up wondering if it could ever Brie.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ActuallySquirtle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dream induced by a broken bone?

A femur dream.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/egos_marvel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
As a child, it was my dream to make a perfect bar of soap ...

... but somehow it just slipped away.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cacarrizales
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
I had a dream about mufflers.

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 126
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sk1wbw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti.

You should of seen her face when I drove pasta

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/akjohnston87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
I had a terrible dream the other night that I was a tail pipe... I could barely sleep.

I woke up exhausted!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/noobmoney_rs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
I had a dream about 1, 3 and 5 last night...

It was really odd

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Huxm_luxl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
My wife and I are planning a trip to San Francisco to finally fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in person.

She asked me, β€œWhat are you going to do when you see it?”

I said, β€œLet’s cross that bridge when we get there.”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream that I was weightless.

I was like, 0mg.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Canooter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in a lucid dream yesterday. I told my mom after that I turned into Micheal Jackson. She said, β€œare you high, son?”

I said, β€œno, I’m Micheal Jack son”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beninja_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Patient (at a therapist): I keep having these dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then a teepee; then a wigwam. It’s making me crazy. What’s wrong with me?

Therapist: You need to relax. You’re two tents.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/powerpuffvegan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I had this crazy dream where I was virtually weightless...

I was like 0mg.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter, β€œIts always been my dream to walk you down the aisle.”

She said, β€œDad, we are grocery shopping.”

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night, I had a dream that I wrote the Hobbit.

Apparently I was Tolkien in my sleep

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream where I drowned in an ocean of orange soda

I woke up and figured it was all a Fanta-sea

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Orion_Starrlight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream where I was planting myself in a garden.

It felt so real, I actually soiled myself.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Irish dream come true
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/excuseme_wtf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My grandfather, who was in the army, once told me, β€œ1940, I met my first love. 1946, my second. 1950, I met the woman of my dreams.”

β€œIt was quite a hectic evening.”

πŸ‘︎ 551
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I finally told my wife about my dreams of becoming a bodybuilder

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream that the ocean turned orange.......

but it was just a Fanta sea

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/banjowashisnameo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What dreams?
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LMB2001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses in the other night. My dreams have never been clearer.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_SlowSpud_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream where I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...

Turns out it was just a fanta-sea

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoWeGotTheLegs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of dreams do plumbers have?

Pipe dreams

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sneakysnek96
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My dream girl is made of chocolate

I Hershey kisses good too

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I have big dreams about doing electrical work around the house, but my wife is the sensible one

She keeps me grounded.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Never pee in a dream...

Urine trouble if you do.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream I was being chased by a giant sausage

It was the wurst

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lesserthepoggle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream last night that I was hiding from a serial killer in a little room while camping.

It was in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cdiddy579
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a recurring dream that I lose the ability to taste, see, smell, hear and feel.

My wife says it's nonsense.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepixelcat2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.

I was tossing all night.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I've had a dream that I wanted to be a horse rider when I grew up

It was a nightmare

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/totally80s
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
As a struggling dry alcoholic, I had a few dreams where I didn't give in to drinking last night

It was surreal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ccrosssss
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Dreams...........
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kartikgupta373
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Had a dream last night that I was drowning in a orange soda sea...Took me awhile to figure out it was just a Fanta sea.
πŸ‘︎ 198
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArsenalHakon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Jeff has had only one dream ever in his life, to become a train conductor.

Jeff went to his local train station and begged for the job. He got a job, as a janitor. Every day he swept the train car floors. To make his job easier, he added certain style to his sweeping technique. He used a 3 level system for how powerful he wanted to sweep. He had a small sweep for small piles of dust. Medium sweeps for leftover chip bags and plactic bottles. And the Super Mega Large sweeps for when there were spider webs as big as the train.

Jeff was a master sweeper, so he got Promoted!.. To hobo kicking. Nowadays he comes to the train station early in the morning, finds the nearest hobo, and kicks him out. However, Jeff's legs hurt after several strong kicks, so he used his 3 level system in hobo kicking. He had a small kick for tiny, bite sized hobos. Medium kicks for your average sized hobo. And his Super Mega Powerful kick for 300 pound hobos.

Jeff was sooooo good at kicking hobos and he was Promoted!.. to coal shoveling. Jeff arrives 20 minutes before his train departu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saspa314
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
After years of trying I have decided to give up on my life long dream of becoming a world renowned spaghetti chef. It’s time to move on and stop living in ...
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darlosworld
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream I had 1 infinity stone

Oh boy that was a power trip

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Duck7Man
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I told a dad joke in a dream last night.

Someone was taking about their oral and aural studies. I said, "We don't listen when you talk about that." I woke myself up laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that i was drowning in an ocean of orange soda. . .

But when I woke I realized that it was just a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roxann_007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I love how strong this fly is! He has finally lived out his dreams (:
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BubbleBeat3333
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I always dream about opening up a horse groomer in Maine.

I'd call it, Maine's main mane on main.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rabbithole00
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I was electrocuted.

I had a dream that I was electrocuted. Even though I know it's not real, it still hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/disasterbats
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Had a Dream Last Night That I Was A Muffler...

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CandyceCox
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
I had a dream last night that I was a muffler

I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TuskenRaiders
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
My wife keeps on having disturbed dreams, shouting things like β€œHobbit!”, β€œMordor!”, and β€œGandalf!”...

Always Tolkien in her sleep...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/articElite0
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
I once had a dream I was a muffler,

I woke up exhausted!

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lilshottee101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.

I woke up exhausted!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TJVpower
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda.

It was a Fanta Sea.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sheshatinmyoven
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream I was a muffler last night

Woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I was a muffler

I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 986
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smashvet334
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I knighted an electric fish.

It was Sir Eel.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dudleysdad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter, "it's always been my dream to walk you down the aisle."

She said: "Dad, we are grocery shopping."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream last night I was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoSweetPeaches
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream last night I was a muffler

I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Conviction666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream I was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lockdoggs15
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I are going on a trip to San Francisco to fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing the Golden Gate in person.

She said, β€œ What are you going to do when you finally see it?”

I said, β€œLet’s cross that bridge when we get there.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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