How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it's on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/svncactus117
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?

Sleigh-er.

πŸ‘︎ 167
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Dear Santa ...
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mtravisrose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that less toys have been made this year in Santa’s workshop?

Many of his workers had to Elf Isolate.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't trees get Christmas presents from Santa?

They're too knotty.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Wheuss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What so you call Santa without a GPS?

A lost Claus.

πŸ‘︎ 272
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrinkUpLetsBooBoo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The Kennedy Space Santa.
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is Santa’s sack so big?

.....because he only comes once per year.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awkwardmystic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Santa keep his library organized?

Bookish elves

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Santa have to provide health insurance for his workers?

They’re technically Elf employed

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrymmTravel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Santa have kids

He only comes once a year

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does Santa hang his clothes?

In the clause-it

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sanelyinsane40
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why Did Santa Catch Herpes?

Too many ho ho hos!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/funmunke
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does Santa keep his coat?

In the Clause-it

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skrugzalicious
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Santa’s favourite number?

Tw-elves

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/welshlamb2020
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Santa and the elves are drinking around the fire and one of the elves says:

β€œSanta: you’ve been around since the 4th century, seen alphabets and languages rise and fall. Do you have a favorite letter?”

Claus thinks about it, scratches his thick white beard and says: β€œA B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z”

β€œWell Santa, I just asked for one. What does that mean?”

β€œAnd I gave you one! My favorite letter of the alphabet is the most Christmasy one out there! No-L!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently, Santa has epilepsy....

He seizures when you’re sleeping.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_fury_2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Santa’s religion?

He’s eggnogstic

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/my-pp-el-fuego
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened when Santa didn't pay to park his sleigh?

It got mistletowed.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danyodaddyo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Santa's wife, wearing a skimpy outfit : How do I look?

Santa: Hoe hoe hoe.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EncryptedSage
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Santa wear any underwear?

...because he’s Saint Knicker-less!

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/monkfish-online
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Santa got really sick from going down the chimney?

Yeah, they think he caught the flue.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Santa Claus announced that he’s giving everyone the same gardening tool for Christmas.

Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stchrysostom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

Looks like reindeer.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandyatk445
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the meanest reindeer in Santa's herd?

Olive. You've heard the song. "Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t you want to fight Santa?

Because he has a β€˜black belt’

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NTIMPORTANT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I punched Santa in the face

He called my daughter a "ho". 3 times!!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDrew007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus?

So what do you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus?

A rebel without a Claus (insert all the groans here)

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......

I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darthchris
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?

"Looks like rain dear"

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the Easter Bunny end up in Santa's sleigh?

It was hoppenstance

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aguynamedbry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
How does Santa Clause prevent himself from getting coronavirus?

By santatising

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a knight and Santa’s reindeer?

One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Santa’s helpers favorite singer.

Elve-is.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrVegano
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does Santa keep his money?

In the snow bank.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't Santa Claus have to worry about catching COVID-19?

Because he has Santa-bodies.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeefEater81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why Santa and eight reindeer couldn’t open his vehicle?

One horse open sleigh.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PulkPush
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard that Santa’s workers don’t like to share their toys.

They are very Elfish.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do people call me Santa?

Cuz I get all the ho ho hos!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ApeGoOuoh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Santa’s motorcycle brand?

A holly davidson

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coxxy2025
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing. It’s on the house!

πŸ‘︎ 295
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatal_fame
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it’s on the house

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost for Santa to park his sleigh

Nothing! It’s on the house!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What's Santa's favourite metal band?

Sleigher.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Mrs. Claus hate Santa?

He has too many ho ho hos

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drewc249
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it’s on the house!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatherfinger420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it’s on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.