Family Vacation Puns

That's a moray.

A few hours later the plane lands in japan. The dad looks at his son and says "okinawa here"

Did Juneau we’re in the capitol city?

....you need to get away from.

It was our last resort...

Alpaca bag now.

...the Land of the Rising Son?”

Dad: [Comments on something pointless]

Me: No one cares, dad.

Dad: I care.

Me: No one else does.

Dad: Obamacare.

My kids are angry and my wife is filing for divorce.

We were taking pictures of the amazing views from the south rim of the canyon and my family wanted a picture with everyone in it. We all line up and my dad taps an older gentleman on the shoulder to take our picture:

My dad: "Hey, can you take our picture?"

Random dad: With a disgusted face he says, "No, I don't want a picture of you people." And walks off.

He took about 5 steps before turning around, laughing to himself, and snapped a great pic of my family. My dad later remarked, "that was a good one."

And I said, “Actually, this is a jet.”

"She's a navigator, not a get lost for a while crocodile!" Said after my parents were shocked my brother and his new wife where heading in the right direction to the beach.

Hey Son, look at those kids, only 4/6 years old and they already speak Italian!

We're seated to a family dinner at our hotel. I'm sitting across from my sister and next to my dad. The waiter brings our meals: lamb for me, lamb for my sister and fish for my dad.

Suddenly, he lost all the color in his face. In retrospect, we're not sure how he pulled that part off, but he seemed genuinely terrified as a lead into it.

Dad: "Oh my god, did you hear that?"

Me: "Hear what?"

Sister: "What's going on?"

Dad: Listen!

Ambient restaurant noises.

Me: Dad, seriously, are you ok? What's going on?!

Dad: I can't believe you can't hear it. They must have brought you the silence of the lambs...

Me: Does the place we're staying have a gym? Him: Yeah, and a Bob, a Joe, and a Harry

Many groans were had on that trip, but that was the best one imo

Gf: wow I packed way too much deodorant.

Gfs dad (with ought skipping a beat): sounds like you have a big stinking problem

Him: I'm so mad. My whole family is in Milan right now and I'm stuck here at school. Me: Would you say you're feeling a little Milan-choly?

My family was visiting relatives in Seattle and we were visiting the space needle. The person at the counter offers my dad a combo with some other attraction and he responds with

"Does this combo come with fries?"