I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.

Turns out...it was a safe purchase.

πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Timmy12er
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...

It was jarring!!!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Farhan_Hyder
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
Hi a huge metal fan, I'm dad
πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyclone9175
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?

Silverware.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blobmouth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
The Three States of Metal Gear.
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DEMSH00T3R
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
Huge metal fan!
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lgm225
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I’m not into Metal Bands....

...just into Rubber Bands!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ithinkhisnameis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
Mike Tyson gifted little metal cups to his friends...

When they asked what it meant, he said it was a thimble of friendship!

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
"My ex couldn't name a single metal band from the 80s."

"Slayer?"

"No, I just shook my head."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
A huge metal fan
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EpicBro16
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Our church just replaced our giant wood pulpit for a smaller metal pulpit that is equally heavy.

We are now a heavy metal church.

We will be introducing Black Sabbath to our worship set soon.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cruckel2687
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
My son wanted to go on the metal slide at the park today, it was 38Β°c

I told him that was suislide

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MadMeemo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Went to a German dentist convention where they wanted donations of metals.

I told them β€œNein, out of tin.” Dentists agreed.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob0128
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
What did one metal say to it's crush?

I got my iron you

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chinese_snow
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
My friend called me to say that he’s starting a new Metal band called Spinal Column.

I said, β€œCan I call you Back?”

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Metal fan
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blitzcrig
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Rusted Metal!
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/strychinine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
I saw a documentary on how metal plates are fixed

Riveting!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saviounderscore
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
How did Metallica get such a heavy metal sound?

It was their lead guitar

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/doogdoogdoog123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
There is a punk-metal band called Pangea what is it called when the band breaks up?

Continental Drift.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DudeWithRedditAcc
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
What do metals call their friends

their chromies

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xXProReaps501Xx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.

To summarize:

He's never gonna give you Up

Never gonna lend you Down

Never gonna run around, and dessert you.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
Metal Music Joke

What do you call a rock band that hates nail clippers?

Nine-Inch Nails.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WatchOutItsAdam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
There’s a guy in a European airport, and he sees a man carrying a ten foot metal pole. He asks the guy, β€œAre you a pole vaulter?”

The man says, β€œActually, I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J3ST3RR
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
The metal hooks tied to my rope broke.

I'm having a hard time grappling with this.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Evrant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Trash metal, anyone?
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punderants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A heavy metal fan was diagnosed with coronavirus

He’s down with the sickness

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report
Three of my high school's percussionists were all involved in a torrid affair regarding the geometric shaped piece of metal...

It was an odd love triangle...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
Metal Heads
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
How do metal workers like their steak cooked?

Well did.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/psychodelephant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?

I’m smelting!!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
Someone keeps putting very thin sheet metal around my garden...

They keep foiling my plot!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
I just finished reading a book on the history of metal fasteners.

I have to say it was absolutely riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
I remember the first time I bolted two things together with metal fasteners.

That was a riveting experience.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
What's a chameleon's favorite metal?

Tungsten.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C_Giraffe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
Hi huge metal fan, I'm dad
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yveli
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
So I went to my barber and told him "Instead of using scissors, use this old 80s hair metal band CD".

That is how I got my MΓΆtley CrΓΌe cut.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thoxis1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
Metal
πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Viotech_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Heavy metal band
πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a death metal singer’s favorite cheese?

BRRIIIIIIIIEEEEEE

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twisted_Taterz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
I fought a man with metal hands.

I couldn't defeat him, he was too heavily armed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jo-Sizzle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
What did the woodpecker say to the metal clock

Your timeing is In-peck-able friends laugh track

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeraldninja_yt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
Did you hear of that fake metal that was fraudulently sold to companies as "steel"? It turned out to be an alloy mostly made up of tin. Guess you can call it FORGED steel
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/figgerer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
OC. Came to me while re-watching Full Metal Jacket.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Psypherus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Metal
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XGN_Carter1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Death Metal
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beanier-Than-You
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a smart metal guitarist?

An intellidjent guitarist!

Djent is pronounced like "gent" btw

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call a metal religious woman?

Aluminun

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheesybacon250
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Metal fan
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterPoen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
That’s sew metal
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I made a metal friend today
πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jakobmcstuffies
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A plastic bucket vs. a metal bucket . . .

Pails in comparison

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
This Metal Gear Solid pun
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Veno-Dome
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
When a coin goes from Russia to the USA seeking asylum it is Metal Defecting.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I was told a story about combining two pieces of metal.

It was riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Despite all the dirt, I finally could grab a good photo of that metal milling facility reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Constant__Pain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A huge metal fan
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Probably_not_u
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Windmill number 1 asked windmill number 2 β€œwhat kind of music do you listen to?” Windmill 2 responded β€œI’m a huge metal fan”
πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_crownseye
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Recently, monkeys escaped from an animal testing lab and broke into the adjacent chemistry lab. Some ingested potassium metal and exploded.

There were Rhesus pieces everywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
That's some heavy metal
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XtraMavrick
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The metal detector beeped when the guard was checking me. He asked me if I had any metallic stuff with me, I said:

No...it just beeped because my Shirt is Ironed.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hanrattyyy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Yuge Metal Fan
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BiggieGru
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....

I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanpaa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
When you like running and metal
πŸ‘︎ 314
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Farlaven
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
We were walking down the street, when a group of black metal musicians approached us.

My friend turned to me and quipped, "Oh oh! Here comes treble!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I watched an interesting documentary about how to fasten two sheets of metal together.

It was riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RegalBen56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Can you tell me what metal blows up when it reacts with water?

Na

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Albertosaurus77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
That's a wHOLE lot of piercings! I guess this singer really is metal.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phantomlordpt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the klepto only knit metal sweaters?

He had to...Steel wool.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fonebone45
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
This is metal
πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/inDgenious
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What you say when a heavy metal artist die?

Rust in peace

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/General_Kylobi
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in two minds whether to buy a metal cabinet to store my valuables.

In the end, it was a safe investment.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What are the best metal jokes?

Ironic ones.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/k0k0nut3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls?

Sparky!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nolangeorge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
πŸ”₯ metal
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mehaxe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I lost my job as a sheet metal worker.

I don't know what happened but I gave it my awl.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What sound does a metal frog make

Rivet, rivet

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tpatt83
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Big Metal Fan
πŸ‘︎ 773
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Swallio
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Me: Did I tell you the joke about the metal unicycle?

Wife: No.

Me: The one about the ferrous wheel?!

Wife: ...

Me: it's pretty metal, you'd love it!

Wife: You steel all your jokes

Me: ...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RabanastranGuard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw Brad Pitt's brother at a heavy metal concert.

Mosh Pitt.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the dogs that eat metal?

They're ferrousius.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tr4ckh3d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do speed metal groups stand so far apart from each other on stage?

Because speed is limited by band width

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/acnine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a Blacksmith say to his apprentice after he fuses metal.

Weld-done lad, weld-done.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/9ine0ne0ne
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Nature is...metal?
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I just finished a great documentary about the process by which metal sheets are fastened together with steel bolts.

It was riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_iraq_such_as
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A reporter meets a man carrying an eight-foot-long metal stick and asks, β€œAre you a pole vaulter?”

β€œNo,” says the man, β€œI’m German. But how did you know my name is Walter?”

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/exman1992
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A plastic bucket vs. a metal bucket . . .

pails in comparison

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What you say when a heavy metal artist die?

Rust in peace

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/General_Kylobi
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.