What makes music heavy metal?
Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest μ
Adjective for metal is metallic
But not so for iron which is ironic
How did the orchestra attract heavy metal fans?
Did you hear about the metal shipment that was late?
I had a bunch of metal pipes inside of me after my lung transplant.
Guess they got the wrong organ donor.
I listen to every type of music except heavy metal
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
What's the difference between a vacation and metal earplugs?
One is o-cation-al and the other is quiet off tin.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
I used to get small shocks every time I touched metal objects, but I don't anymore.
I like to listen to music as I fall asleep, so I tuned the radio to the Metal station
I've always been a heavy sleeper.
Why do fairies burn when in contact with metal?
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Our first single is "Bread or Alive."
I’ve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.
Now I have salmonella.
(I’m sorry, it’s a fishy joke)
What kind of net catches metal?
I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding
The whole process was riveting
In Yosemite, I once found a chunk of metal that was more dense in the center of it.
My favorite part of the morning is the sound of pouring coffee into my metal thermos
It’s the little tings in life, ya know?
Why did the metal like the magnet?
Because it was attractive
2 metal workers got married....
It was a beautiful welding.
i am deaf on both ears after working at the metal factory
I guess heavy metal is not good for my ears
Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together
At first it’s boring and then it’s Riveting!
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out...it was a safe purchase.
My uncle's friend won the Olympic gold with an epee made from a disposable thin metal sheet often used in cooking...
It was a good aluminum foil
How do you know all woodpeckers love heavy metal music?
Because they’re all head bangers. (Credit to my 11 year old).
Harry Houdini was allergic to the metal they used to make handcuffs...
Every time they put a pair on him, he'd break out.
I ordered some big metal letters.
I wanted to make a sign that said "YOU & ME". So, I ordered some big metal letters.
When they arrived, the box was very damaged. I checked if everything was there, but the iron E was lost on me.
Hi a huge metal fan, I'm dad
Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
The Three States of Metal Gear.
What have you got to add to metal to get heavy metal?
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
Mike Tyson gifted little metal cups to his friends...
When they asked what it meant, he said it was a thimble of friendship!
I’m not into Metal Bands....
...just into Rubber Bands!
My friend called me to say that he’s starting a new Metal band called Spinal Column.
I said, “Can I call you Back?”
What's Santa's favourite metal band?
The corresponding adjective for "metal" is "metallic"
But that's not the case for "iron", which is ironic.