If I had a nickel every time I was confused

I’d be like, where the fuck do all these nickels keep coming from?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dragoon2745
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
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I told a joke to a Japanese guy earlier about Sodium and Nickel...

He didn't get it though, so he just said "NaNi?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qwopcircles
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
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There’s this coin wrapper that can roll any coin: pennies, nickels, dimes etc. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll.

My favorite wrapper is the fifty cent piece

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel

Deodorant is a scent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueomegaJF
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
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If I had a nickel for every time I didn’t know what was going on

I would be like... how did I get all these fucking nickels??

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cherbotsky
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
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If I had a nickel for every bread pun out there...

Then I’d have a punpernickel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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A nickel atom and a cerium atom walk into a bar...

Nice!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Furiousbeast12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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Oxygen Potassium, Nickel Cerium.

https://preview.redd.it/qi5e052oo0031.png?width=795&format=png&auto=webp&s=b7868549104490e4c7506a259f752230ed9f6093

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoryFish23
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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I would want my nickel back to be honest
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadyNite
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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It's a nickel less cage
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meh-oh-nai-se
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.

Now I have a nickel-less cage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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I found a nickel on the ground today and I have a feeling I’m going to find a penny later.

It’s my sixth sense

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jibbleschmitt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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*two friends were looking at a nickel iron alloy rod*

Friend 1: This rod looks Fe-Ni. Hahaha

Friend 2: I find it iron-nickel that you laughed at your own statement

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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What would you say if you got a nickel for every book you’ve read?

I’d say that’s pretty coincidental.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayuum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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Put a nickel in a cage, then take it out. Nickeless Cage
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zylrilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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If I had a nickel for every time I got paid fairly...

I'd have four cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/princemacgyver
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn’t?

Dime had more cents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jermz12345
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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Instead of cards, they made me pass out nickels when we played poker.

But I don't deal well with change.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zenpod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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I was going to sell a quarter for a nickel on eBay

I decided not to because it didn't make any cents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjjuniorrr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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Just because you guessed that I have a nickel and a penny in my pocket ...

... doesn't mean you have some sixth cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_snipeypants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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Not to nickel and dime you...

But you owe me 15 cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashesremindme
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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What did the geological engineer say when asked if they should mine for nickel or iron?

Either ore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/canadasecond
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2013
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I have 2 coins in my hand with a total value of 6 cents, and one of the coins isn't a nickel.

The other one is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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I knew I was going to find a penny and a nickel.

I have a six cents about these things.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madsplatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
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If I had a nickel for every time this happened, I wouldn't be me anymore.

Just dad joked my gf hard.

Gf: Do you have five cents?

Aspiring dad: No. I'm Nickle-less.

PS: My name is Nicholas

The poor girl lost her lungs and eyes in the subsequent sigh and eye roll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizenedwallaby
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2016
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Tesla should be put on the nickel.

That way, everyone can have a Nikola Tesla.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/niveusmacresco
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2014
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We went to a fancy seafood restaurant for my dad's "double nickel" birthday.

When asked what he would be having he casually answered "I think I'll try the halibut. Just for the hell of it."

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2014
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