Why aren’t train engineers made of copper

Because, the. They’d really be conductors.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/actsparkles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15
🚨︎ report
You'll never catch me, copper!

Said the fugitive magnet

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
If I ordered a Mint Julep in a copper mug

could I call it a Moscow Mitch?

Explanation: A cocktail called a Moscow Mule is served in copper mugs. The mint julep is Kentucky Derby's official drink, and Mitch McConnell is the senator from Kentucky who has blocked legislation to stop Russian interference in US elections, earning him the nickname "Moscow Mitch" among his critics.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elRobRex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers fighting over a penny

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOhKnow
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A long time ago you could make decent money from the copper mines...

Now if you had one you'd be making pennies.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A Scottish piece of copper wire walks into a bar, and his friend challenges him to drink a pint of beer in under 2 seconds. He responds...

I conduit

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jman2600
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Copper better be careful, if Zinc shows up they could both be charged with battery
πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
A man is interviewing for a job in the mines. The interviewer asks, β€œwould you prefer mining for iron or copper?”

The man replies, β€œEither ore works!”

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Gurl are you copper

Cause I really want to Cu again

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weabooass6669
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Gurl are you copper?

Cause I sure want to Cu again.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rottenion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Copper asked Gold a question..

"Could you please tell me my symbol?

"Sure, it's Copper."

"Au, that's my name silly!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TableHockey31313
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
🚨︎ report
[Metal] I steel think tha tin most of these posts, the comments lead straight into puns. I'm not a big fan, it seems like a copper out.

But thi silvery from one post to the next.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bilbowtech
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Drat! Foiled again!
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dismyweeedcount
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
I told my son he's grounded

He was touching a copper water pipe and I'm an electrician.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lunochod2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
Why did the robot go on a murderous rampage?

He was made from 100% American copper.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/greywind721
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
You cannot break their bond
πŸ‘︎ 508
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw on the news that someone just broke into my local police station and stole all the toilets.

Police say they have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 163
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
So I accidentally killed a chemist the other day.

I asked my friend what to do. he said, "Just barium before the coppers catch us."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/greencash370
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How much is a policeman payed in overtime?

Copper nitrate

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Andy_rew787
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a Wooden Whistle

But it wooden whistle

So I Bought a steel whistle

But it steel wooden whistle

So I Bought a lead whistle

But it steel wooden lead me whistle

So I Bought a copper whistle

But the copper steel wooden lead me whistle

So I bought a tin whistle

Now I can whistle

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you ever see how wires are made?

It’s pretty shocking

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why hasn't Abraham Lincoln ever been charged with a crime?

He's in a cent.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OneCoolGuy234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
🚨︎ report
The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do olympians and thieves have in common?

They go for the gold, but sometimes have to settle for coppers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beaverpudding
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a metal on the train today.

He was a good conductor.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theeggchicken
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Ironing Shirts

When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.

πŸ‘︎ 859
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Munchy2x2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the robber go to gaol?

Because the copper caught him steeling iron

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_boourns
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a police helicopter?

A heli-copper!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ksaramander
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
🚨︎ report
I can't believe we still make pennies when it costs more than they're worth.

It makes no cents.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfavino
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2017
🚨︎ report
What type of metal can stop any car?

A copper.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peterqub
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2017
🚨︎ report
The news just handed this to my dad

We were at work listening to the radio and the news came on "$50,000 worth of copper was stolen..."

My brother: "$50,000 for copper?"

My dad: "I wonder how much they charge for firemen"

I laughed pretty heartily.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2014
🚨︎ report
Chemistry Puns

Funny collection of chemistry puns

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.


How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone


What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.


Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!


Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.


Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.


How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.


If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.


What do chemists

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Chemistry

All the good chemistry puns argon, but I can zinc of a copper new ones.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2015
🚨︎ report
He got me out of nowhere.

It just happened, and it may not be the best, but it was just so perfect I had to share. Father comes out of the laundry room, holding a penny. He shows it to me, and says we have to hide it from the cops. I, while drinking my fine cranberry juice, stop and ask why the hell that would be necessary. Without hesitation, he says we can't keep it, because it's laundered money. Halp..

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Braindead_Poet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad told me a story of a night out he had when he was younger.

He was trying to get into a club one night, the club was busy, and when he got to the front of the line he could see the bouncer looking for an excuse to turn him away. "Sorry sir, you're just not dressed smart enough," He said, "you'll have to put on a tie."

So my dad starts walking up and down the street, asking people if he could borrow or buy their tie (he really needed to get in) but most people took him for some crazy person and turned him away. After trying for 10 minutes he saw a road side assistant car down the street. He rushed up to the operator and said "Please, I know you're not generally for this but by any chance do you have a tie I can borrow?" The serviceman replies "Sorry sir the best I can do is tie this set of jumper leads around your neck" He ties the leads around dad's neck and make it look all nice (making sure to hide the copper clips in his shirt), and dad heads back to the club. The bouncer looks him up and down again, nods and says, "You can come in, but

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RadiatorSam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
🚨︎ report
My brother, the almost conductor

Me: Have you got any copper? I need something to conduct electricity through this thing I'm doing for physics.

Brother: I've got no copper, but I'm free Wednesday afternoons.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kikooky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2015
🚨︎ report
A scientist and his assistant

A scientist and his assistant are in the lab. In front of them is a tank with two fish swimming around. the scientist says to his assistant, "Go into the specimen room and get two more fish."

So the assistant grabs a cart, goes across the hall to the specimen room, puts in his access code on the number panel, pushes the cart in, picks up two fish bowls, each with a fish swimming around, and places them in the cart.

Then he pushes the cart back across the hall into the lab, checking to make sure the door to the specimen room shuts behind him, brings the cart in.

The scientist says, "Pour each fish into the tank with the other two."

So the assistant pushes the cart right next to the tank, picks up each bowl and pours them into the tank with the other fish "

The scientist says, "Now go get some electrical wire out of the storage room."

So the assistant leaves the lab, walks down the hall to the storage room, puts in his access code, grabs a coil of copper wire, marks how much he

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Redremnant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.