Context: My brother made a forge this summer and mom kept the slag from his first firing. She's using it in a x-mas ornament present for him and we can't think of anything witty to write on it. If anyone can think of a good one, we'd love to hear it!
How did you get their tiny legs open?!
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tracto... keep reading on reddit ➡
It's called He Who Smelt it Dealt it
"Smells like a waste of time"
I have bad dairy-air.
I smelt that sh!t a mile away!
but my co-workers did not like me. They said I smelt badly.
I once met a girl who said her boobs smelt like plastic. I just couldn't digest it
I was born with mine.
Me: 'I certainly hope so. I'd hate to think I smelt like that normally'.
He smelt fowl.
It smelt funny...
It smelt funny
I asked my wife at the grocery store while holding up a frozen bag of fish.
Smells like fish she responded.
Of course! They're smelt!
Got home and walked into the kitchen, something smelt really good. Walked over to the slow cooker and see food in there. Go and find my dad and ask "is it alright if I have some of the food from the slow cooker?" He replies "yes" and on my way out the room he shouts "its chilli by the way!" I walk back into the room with a smug grin and ask "oh, so should I warm it up?" After a second, he clicks and I get the satisfying nod.
So I just got back from a run, and must have eaten something earlier, because as soon as I came inside, I ripped a really loud, nasty fart. I jokingly blamed it on her, and she laughed a bit until she smelled it. As she was busy plugging her nose I lay this on her.
Me: Well you know what they say, the one that smelt it is the one that dealt it. Her: That's not funny, I know it was you, that saying doesn't make any sense right now. Me: I think it makes a lot of scents. Wah-waaah..
Grandma ask the girlfriend "well have you ever had to smell moth balls before?"
Girlfriend replies " Oh yeah, I've smelt them many times before, doesn't bother me"
Grandma "How in the world did you get your nose between their legs to smell 'em?!?!"