28 Hilarious Nickel Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Why do vampires only play the penny and nickel slot machines?

Small stakes.

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👤︎ u/billbixbyakahulk

📅︎ May 29 2021

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If I had a nickel every time I was confused

I’d be like, where the fuck do all these nickels keep coming from?

👍︎ 12k

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👤︎ u/dragoon2745

📅︎ Mar 27 2020

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I told a joke to a Japanese guy earlier about Sodium and Nickel...

He didn't get it though, so he just said "NaNi?!"

👍︎ 6k

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👤︎ u/qwopcircles

📅︎ Apr 03 2020

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If I had a nickel for every time I didn’t know what was going on

I would be like... how did I get all these fucking nickels??

👍︎ 92

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👤︎ u/Cherbotsky

📅︎ Apr 19 2020

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There’s this coin wrapper that can roll any coin: pennies, nickels, dimes etc. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll.

My favorite wrapper is the fifty cent piece

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👤︎ u/holymolybreath

📅︎ May 29 2020

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I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel

Deodorant is a scent.

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👤︎ u/TrueomegaJF

📅︎ Jun 30 2020

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If I had a nickel for every bread pun out there...

Then I’d have a punpernickel.

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat

📅︎ Sep 22 2019

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I would want my nickel back to be honest

👍︎ 49

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👤︎ u/ShadyNite

📅︎ Mar 04 2019

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Oxygen Potassium, Nickel Cerium.

https://preview.redd.it/qi5e052oo0031.png?width=795&format=png&auto=webp&s=b7868549104490e4c7506a259f752230ed9f6093

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👤︎ u/DoryFish23

📅︎ May 23 2019

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My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.

Now I have a nickel-less cage.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Nov 08 2018

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It's a nickel less cage

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👤︎ u/meh-oh-nai-se

📅︎ Mar 22 2019

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A nickel atom and a cerium atom walk into a bar...

Nice!

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Furiousbeast12

📅︎ Oct 27 2019

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I found a nickel on the ground today and I have a feeling I’m going to find a penny later.

It’s my sixth sense

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👤︎ u/jibbleschmitt

📅︎ Jun 16 2019

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Put a nickel in a cage, then take it out. Nickeless Cage

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👤︎ u/Zylrilla

📅︎ Feb 03 2019

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What would you say if you got a nickel for every book you’ve read?

I’d say that’s pretty coincidental.

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👤︎ u/Ayuum

📅︎ Apr 17 2019

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*two friends were looking at a nickel iron alloy rod*

Friend 1: This rod looks Fe-Ni. Hahaha

Friend 2: I find it iron-nickel that you laughed at your own statement

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👤︎ u/pabesh17

📅︎ Jul 11 2019

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Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn’t?

Dime had more cents

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👤︎ u/Jermz12345

📅︎ Jul 27 2018

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If I had a nickel for every time I got paid fairly...

I'd have four cents.

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👤︎ u/princemacgyver

📅︎ Apr 15 2019

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Instead of cards, they made me pass out nickels when we played poker.

But I don't deal well with change.

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👤︎ u/zenpod

📅︎ Sep 26 2018

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I was going to sell a quarter for a nickel on eBay

I decided not to because it didn't make any cents

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👤︎ u/jjjuniorrr

📅︎ Feb 19 2019

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What did the geological engineer say when asked if they should mine for nickel or iron?

Either ore.

👍︎ 27

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👤︎ u/canadasecond

📅︎ Feb 10 2013

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Just because you guessed that I have a nickel and a penny in my pocket ...

... doesn't mean you have some sixth cents.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/mr_snipeypants

📅︎ Dec 20 2018

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Not to nickel and dime you...

But you owe me 15 cents.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Ashesremindme

📅︎ Nov 02 2018

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I have 2 coins in my hand with a total value of 6 cents, and one of the coins isn't a nickel.

The other one is.

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👤︎ u/slowshot

📅︎ Sep 09 2016

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I knew I was going to find a penny and a nickel.

I have a six cents about these things.

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/madsplatter

📅︎ Sep 25 2013

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If I had a nickel for every time this happened, I wouldn't be me anymore.

Just dad joked my gf hard.

Gf: Do you have five cents?

Aspiring dad: No. I'm Nickle-less.

PS: My name is Nicholas

The poor girl lost her lungs and eyes in the subsequent sigh and eye roll.

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👤︎ u/wizenedwallaby

📅︎ Apr 15 2016

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Tesla should be put on the nickel.

That way, everyone can have a Nikola Tesla.

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/niveusmacresco

📅︎ Oct 12 2014

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We went to a fancy seafood restaurant for my dad's "double nickel" birthday.

When asked what he would be having he casually answered "I think I'll try the halibut. Just for the hell of it."

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👤︎ u/not_rude_and_ginger

📅︎ Nov 10 2014

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