I listen to every type of music except heavy metal
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Iβve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.
Now I have salmonella.
(Iβm sorry, itβs a fishy joke)
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︎ Jan 21 2021
In Yosemite, I once found a chunk of metal that was more dense in the center of it.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Our first single is "Bread or Alive."
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︎ Nov 28 2020
My favorite part of the morning is the sound of pouring coffee into my metal thermos
Itβs the little tings in life, ya know?
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Why did the metal like the magnet?
Because it was attractive
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︎ Jan 25 2021
I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding
The whole process was riveting
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︎ Jan 06 2021
What kind of net catches metal?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Metal Fan
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︎ Dec 12 2020
What metal is very sneaky?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
The corresponding adjective for "metal" is "metallic"
But that's not the case for "iron", which is ironic.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
i am deaf on both ears after working at the metal factory
I guess heavy metal is not good for my ears
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︎ Dec 05 2020
2 metal workers got married....
It was a beautiful welding.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
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︎ Aug 19 2020
All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together
At first itβs boring and then itβs Riveting!
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︎ Oct 07 2020
My uncle's friend won the Olympic gold with an epee made from a disposable thin metal sheet often used in cooking...
It was a good aluminum foil
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︎ Nov 05 2020
How do you know all woodpeckers love heavy metal music?
Because theyβre all head bangers. (Credit to my 11 year old).
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︎ Oct 18 2020
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out...it was a safe purchase.
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︎ Jul 17 2020
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︎ Oct 07 2020
A huge metal fan
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︎ Nov 25 2019
Harry Houdini was allergic to the metal they used to make handcuffs...
Every time they put a pair on him, he'd break out.
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︎ Aug 12 2020
I ordered some big metal letters.
I wanted to make a sign that said "YOU & ME". So, I ordered some big metal letters.
When they arrived, the box was very damaged. I checked if everything was there, but the iron E was lost on me.
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︎ Aug 15 2020
There was a locked metal box at an auction. The auctioneer said it was from the 1920βs and owned by really wealthy man. There couldβve been some really valuable stuff in it or it could just be empty. I didnβt want to bid anymore than $100 on it.
I thought it was a safe bet.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
What have you got to add to metal to get heavy metal?
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︎ Aug 30 2020
Hi a huge metal fan, I'm dad
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︎ Jun 09 2020
Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Metal fan
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︎ Oct 12 2019
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
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︎ Jul 20 2020
The Three States of Metal Gear.
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Huge metal fan!
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︎ Jun 07 2020
Mike Tyson gifted little metal cups to his friends...
When they asked what it meant, he said it was a thimble of friendship!
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︎ Jun 05 2020
Iβm not into Metal Bands....
...just into Rubber Bands!
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︎ Jun 24 2020
Rusted Metal!
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︎ Feb 18 2020
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
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︎ Jul 29 2020
"My ex couldn't name a single metal band from the 80s."
"Slayer?"
"No, I just shook my head."
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︎ Jul 01 2020
My friend called me to say that heβs starting a new Metal band called Spinal Column.
I said, βCan I call you Back?β
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︎ Apr 10 2020
What do metals call their friends
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︎ Mar 05 2020
Trash metal, anyone?
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︎ Dec 30 2019
Our church just replaced our giant wood pulpit for a smaller metal pulpit that is equally heavy.
We are now a heavy metal church.
We will be introducing Black Sabbath to our worship set soon.
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︎ Jun 14 2020
How did Metallica get such a heavy metal sound?
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︎ Apr 16 2020
My son wanted to go on the metal slide at the park today, it was 38Β°c
I told him that was suislide
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Went to a German dentist convention where they wanted donations of metals.
I told them βNein, out of tin.β Dentists agreed.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
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︎ Mar 23 2020
Metal
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︎ Sep 05 2019
What's Santa's favourite metal band?
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︎ Dec 13 2020
The adjective for metal is metallic. But not so for iron...
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︎ Nov 29 2020
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