What did Alexander Hamilton say as the coldness of death set upon him?

Brrr.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/errsta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunny_McShoot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Mexicans eat when it's cold out?

Brrrritos

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you need if you’re cold, while on the moon?

A space heater.

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PixiePoops
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Justice is something that is best served cold...

If it was served warm, then it would be Justwater

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlamingNinja925
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself and shared it with us during Christmas dinner!

He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Honolulu...

πŸ‘︎ 212
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cold hooker?

A frostitute.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iswitt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I was cold and hungry, so I put my feet in front of the heater

Now I have tostitos

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargeYourBattery
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree shakes in the cold?

A brrrrrch.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Where should you go in a room if you’re feeling cold?

The corner – they’re usually 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the cold, angry man eat for dinner?

A BrrrrrrrGrrrrrrrrr

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kevthesalty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is the stadium so cold?

Because it has a lot of fans.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the case of the toilet bandit go cold?

They had nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ycarusbog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was Bernie so cold at the inauguration?

Because it was minus 45.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whiznat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you cold and hungry tiger?

A brr-grr.

Edit: β€œWhat do you CALL...”

Sorry, I suck.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1Killag123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What did one RNA say to another RNA after they came inside from the cold?

It's hot in here. Why do you still have your codon?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I enjoy the cold weather

But only to a certain degree

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/takuache_beaner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
It was really cold in Northern Indiana today so I spent my day huddled in the corner...

It was 90 degrees in there

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
If YOU’RE cold, THEY’RE cold. Let that sink in
πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LarsBlackman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did cold say to hot?

Not cool, man.

*My six year old told me she made this up. Not sure whether to believe her or not.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rethinkthegrid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I turned off the fan because I was a bit cold...

I wonder why everyone else on the helicopter is panicking?

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetarianReaper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a painter do when he/she is cold?

They put on another coat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My son told me the house was cold, I told him to go stand in the corner...

'Cause the corner is 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/THOT_Patroller-13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a baker with a cold?

Coughee cake!

Its cake and y'all know the rules!

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amnzul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What cold food do you order at a fast food restaurant?

What cold food do you order at a fast food restaurant?

A Brrrrrrger.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Domidoms
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do cops do when handed a cold case?

They work on it undercover.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.

She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:

Icy, what you did there.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Yup I quit cold turkey last month.

Warmed in the microwave is so much better.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If hell is hot, then heaven's gotta be cold

Guess that's why they call it paradice

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Magnificent-Moe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the pepper cold?

Because it's pepper mint.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shotintheship
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Its getting that time of year when it's so cold....

....people are starting to wear 2 pairs of pyjamas to Walmart.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I texted my friend that I was missing them and they replied with a very cold reply

0K

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blackskyspy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the philosophy lecturer do when he gets cold feet?

He puts on his Socrates.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikethejoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Who were the most tired people in the Cold War?

The sleeper agents

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fakesowdy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Just ice is best served cold
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wdaloz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Justice is best served cold,

because when you serve it warm, it's justwater

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold

If it were served warm it would be justwater.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold

Because otherwise it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 381
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Snugl-v203
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Which is faster hot or cold ?

Hot !! As you can catch cold !

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gp_11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Justice is a dish best served cold

Because if it were served warm it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onion-volcano
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Told my dad I was cold, his response was to tell me to stand in the corner

It’s 90 degrees there

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
When you get cold, stand in the corner of the room ...

It's always about 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mediumbugger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an espresso with a cold....

Coughee.

πŸ‘︎ 396
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCraay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself!

He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
You know that it is cold outside when

You go outside and it is cold.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JadedByEntropy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
"Dad I'm cold."

"Go stand in the corner, I hear its 90 degrees."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a painter do when he gets cold?

He puts on another coat!

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/no1krampus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.