Animals should be treated kindness, respect and....

... a little bit of salt.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NZOC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
It was so cold outside yesterday, that we took a man into our home, out of the kindness of our hearts...

We felt so sorry for him because the poor guy was completely covered in snow, but this morning, he had just vanished!

Not a word, not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him!

The last straw was when I realized he had peed all over the living room floor!

That's the thanks we get for being good to people?!

I'm warning all of you to watch out for this man!

He is a heavy set, white guy, wearing nothing but a scarf.

He has a nose that looks like a carrot, two black eyes, and his arms are so skinny, they look like sticks.

Whatever you do, don't bring him into your house!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
🚨︎ report
What is the smelliest kind of ox?

A buttocks.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of tree is the best for blocking water?

An evergreen

πŸ‘︎ 338
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7bladesofgrass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of chairs do they use in Ireland?

Paddy O’furniture

πŸ‘︎ 637
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
There are 10 kinds of people
  1. People who know binary
  2. People who don't
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?

Brrrroooom, brrroooom.

πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of socks do Panda bears wear?

None, they have bear feet.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of bees like breast milk?

Babies

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of shoes does a frog wear?

Open Toad

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lil-Porker22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm..one turns to the other and says β€œwhat’s your favorite kind of music?”

He replied β€œI’m a big metal fan!”

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maniamadd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of cakes can you drink out of?

Cupcakes

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of rabbit works in the dentists office?

The Ether Bunny

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrixyUkulele
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of beer does a frog drink?

Gnatty light.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noobmoney_rs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of music do poor people play?

Baroque!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cloudyutopia
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of shoes do bakers wear?

Loafers

πŸ‘︎ 320
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartianHunter420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of ant smells the best?

Deodorant.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/overachievingogre
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of poo smells nice?

Shampoo

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterburk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of weapon does a rabbi use?

A cirumscythe

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spycrabpuppet123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of noises a witch vehicle make?

Broooom Broooom

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FwzNk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of car does an egg drive?

A yokeswagen

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nanzort
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of plant belongs in a bathroom?

Toilet trees 🚽😩😭🀣

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anxieuxd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the most popular kind of furniture in Ireland?

Paddy O'Furniture.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of eel likes Italian food?

That's a moray

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VomitingPotato
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of fish is made up of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

πŸ‘︎ 183
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a vegetable that's only kind of cool?

Radish

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpacemanSpliff47
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of doctor is Dr Pepper?

A Fizzician.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What kinds of countries do soft drink companies make?

Carbo Nations!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of books does a Rabbit like?

The one with the Hoppy ending. My daughter told me this πŸ˜€

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peacefulsalmon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the oldest kind of nugget?

Dinosaur nuggets

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a dogs favourite kind of water?

Ruff seas

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IllusiveShad0ws
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of tea do Brits drink when they’re depressed?

Positivi-tea!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/godkingmaker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of weapon does a paramedic use?

An ambu-lance.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of haircut do bees get?

A buzz cut!

(Credit to my 7yo daughter, who will be a great dad one day)

πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of herb do you get from the ocean?

Sea-lantro!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Buttery_Hamwater
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a postie's favourite kind of joke?

A knock knock joke!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/missbooie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of fax machine did the Trump Administration use?

An alternative facts machine.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hobbitinterrupted
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?

Lucky Charms.

Happy St Patrick's Day everyone!

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of church is built on top if a hi rise?

A REPENT-HOUSE

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IMTheSurge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of stone isn't an opal?

A nopal

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What is my wife’s favourite kind of movie?

Period dramas.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartinsChair
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of bra do you wear on your back?

Vertebra

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of bra does R2 shop for?

Double D2

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snypershot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
There are two kinds of people in this world, those who spell it doughnut

and those who donut

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saeldaug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
The french revolution was kind of a pain in the neck, but once it was over it was a weight off of some people's shoulders
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of self-defense does a Jewish Trump supporter practice?

Krav MAGA.

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daddyflextape
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of vehicle does a wiener dog drive?

A Datsun

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shigglezandgitz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
these two wind turbines were standing in the field talking. one says to the other, "what kind of music do you like?" the reply...

"I'm a big metal fan"

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/niftyww
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report

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