It's like I'm some sort of Khartoum character.
My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance
[OC] You're a star... of sorts
For my next performance I will sort out my checking account while on a high wire
What sort of animal wears sunglasses?
What sort of bees make milk?
I feel like there is some sort of untoad story behind this
If you felt a mouse, what sort of mouse would it be?
What sort of corn is sold at student unions?
What sort of stereo equipment does Black Panther use?
There must be a typo in the "sort by" options.
I chose "new" but they're all reposts... should be "knew" instead
How do flat round throwing objects sort their opinional differences?
Ron: Harry, come quick! Dumbledore’s been in some sort of accident!
Harry: Oh my god! Was it serious?
Ron: No. it was Snape.
My friend asked me to sort his hair out for a reggae themed party
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.
I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.
For those who sort by new
One turbine asked another, "what sort of music do you like?"
The other turbine replied, "I'm a big metal fan."
Found on a funny train sort of post (will link in comments)
What sort of cocktail does an attorney drink?
hi people who sort by new, how is it there?
A man burst into a doctor's office and began asking all sorts of strange questions to the people waiting inside. When the doctor asked him to stop, he didn't. The doctor replied
You're really testing my patients.
TIL that sea-faring pirates were quite progressive in their labor practices, reserving a portion of their loot into an early sort of worker's comp, paying for peg-legs and hooks.
They weren't big fans of arrrbitration.
If you fondle a mouse, what sort of mouse is it?
[sort of re-post] Does anyone know how to charge milk...
Mine is stuck on 1%
I write dad jokes on the white board in my office break room. Yesterday I wrote this gem up, and got some interesting responses I thought you all might enjoy... (They had to be from a dad.)
• try 2%... Twice the charge, not much more expensive
• does whole milk come with a full charge?
• does that mean skim milk's batteries are dead?
• try cream top extra charged
So, I’m sort of obsessed with the moon
I guess you could say I’m a lunatic
I just stumbled on this subreddit, and I'd like explain why (from an outsider's perspective) this sort of thing is not my cup of tea.
It's because this is my cup of tea.
I always sort by 'new'
Because if I sorted by 'old' I would just see sad pictures of me and my friends.
What sort of owl can you find in a kitchen?
What sort of gate is hygienic?
What’s brown and sort of sounds like a bell?
What sort of flowers grow on your face?
What sort of money do need if you want to start your own landscaping business?
What sort of nuts get a lot of criticism?
Do you recall that film that was kinda like A Bug's Life and came out at the same sort of time as A Bug's Life but wasn't nearly as good as A Bug's Life?
Well you should, it's Remember Antz Day
What sort of shoes do gypsies wear?
Vegetables are boring in general, but some are sort of cool.
I guess you could called them rad-ish.
On a family holiday to Bruges, we decided to walk to the nearby town of Damme. En route, my Dad said to my sister "your hair looks sort of OK today"
He then explained "to Damme with faint praise"
Sort of an edited repost?
Elmer Fudd is sitting around one day and realized he's not all that good at hunting, might as well take up a new hobby.
Obviously he turns to magic/slight of hand.
After a few months of practicing, his arms are COVERED in chocolate. Bugs comes up and asks him, "Say doc, what's with all the chocolate?"
To which Elmer replies, "You know what they say, a good magician ALWAYS has a few Twix up his sweeves."
I apparently made some sort of sighing noise
My wife asked me, "what is it?"
I said, "it's a third person genderless personal pronoun."
I wanted to sketch some sort of ammunition...
In chemistry class, my son was combining acetic acid with some sort of base when he disappeared...
I guess it's true what they say -- he who acetates is lost.
A dad asked his wife what sort of food would be available at the venue the family was visiting.
She said, "Fries and shit."
A bug light of sorts
What vegetable is sort of awesome?
What sort of organisms do composers hate?
Cause they're de-composers.
What sort of pans do Blackstreet use?
Sort of a dad joke.... I guess....
The next time you are cooking breakfast for your family and are making biscuits or pancakes or something requiring flour hold the flour up in your hand and yell I have the flour like he man. Plus points if your family gets the reference.
I thought I saw some sort of animal on an island in Alaska.
Turns out it was just an Aleutian.
I haven't shaved in a few weeks, and I've sort of got a beard now. I think it's growing on me.
Sort of SO told me that I should swim unprotected with sharks.
I replied with "Idk, I may end up with an STD...a Sharksually Transmitted Disease."
I bet at an organization class you'd learn all sorts of things.
What sort of animal can't get to sleep?
Every time we pass any sort of animal on road
"Look! That sure is a funny looking deer!"
Intense movies with my dad lead to this sort of thing way too often...
Watching some intense mobster movie with my dad:
Two guys come in with shotguns and unload about 10 shots into the don while he's eating really fancy food and drinking wine.
Dad looks over.
"They'll never get the wine out of that shirt."
Dad joke of sorts from Walt Duncan (Zits)
What do you call a vegitable thats only *sort-of* rad?
What sort of tea do you want to drink today?
'What sort of tea do you want to drink today?'
'No tea for me, thanks dad.'
'Alright. One big cup of No-tea for you son!'