It's like I'm some sort of Khartoum character.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16
🚨︎ report
My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"

Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance

πŸ‘︎ 248
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
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[OC] You're a star... of sorts
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beonebagge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
For my next performance I will sort out my checking account while on a high wire

It’s a balancing act

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
What sort of animal wears sunglasses?

A solar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
What sort of bees make milk?

Boobies

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueBoy1515
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I feel like there is some sort of untoad story behind this
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frisodeg
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
If you felt a mouse, what sort of mouse would it be?

A feeled mouse.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What sort of corn is sold at student unions?

Uni-corn!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maud_brijeulin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
What sort of stereo equipment does Black Panther use?

He's a Bose man.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cpome7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
There must be a typo in the "sort by" options.

I chose "new" but they're all reposts... should be "knew" instead

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/feckinBANANA
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
How do flat round throwing objects sort their opinional differences?

A Discussion

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Assfrontation
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
Ron: Harry, come quick! Dumbledore’s been in some sort of accident!

Harry: Oh my god! Was it serious?

Ron: No. it was Snape.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
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My friend asked me to sort his hair out for a reggae themed party

I’m dreading it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.

I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
For those who sort by new
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Your_Uncle_Gubsy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
One turbine asked another, "what sort of music do you like?"

The other turbine replied, "I'm a big metal fan."

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xyon_Peculiar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Found on a funny train sort of post (will link in comments)
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spursjosh06
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What sort of cocktail does an attorney drink?

SubpoeΓ±a coladas

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saltycook
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
hi people who sort by new, how is it there?
πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faelk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A man burst into a doctor's office and began asking all sorts of strange questions to the people waiting inside. When the doctor asked him to stop, he didn't. The doctor replied

You're really testing my patients.

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrionHunter66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
TIL that sea-faring pirates were quite progressive in their labor practices, reserving a portion of their loot into an early sort of worker's comp, paying for peg-legs and hooks.

They weren't big fans of arrrbitration.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If you fondle a mouse, what sort of mouse is it?

A feeled mouse.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
[sort of re-post] Does anyone know how to charge milk...

Mine is stuck on 1%

I write dad jokes on the white board in my office break room. Yesterday I wrote this gem up, and got some interesting responses I thought you all might enjoy... (They had to be from a dad.)

β€’ try 2%... Twice the charge, not much more expensive

β€’ does whole milk come with a full charge?

β€’ does that mean skim milk's batteries are dead?

β€’ try cream top extra charged

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bike619
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
So, I’m sort of obsessed with the moon

I guess you could say I’m a lunatic

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarveliteFreak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I just stumbled on this subreddit, and I'd like explain why (from an outsider's perspective) this sort of thing is not my cup of tea.

It's because this is my cup of tea.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aspacecodyssey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
🚨︎ report
I always sort by 'new'

Because if I sorted by 'old' I would just see sad pictures of me and my friends.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ccococco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What sort of owl can you find in a kitchen?

A teat-owl.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maud_brijeulin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What sort of gate is hygienic?

Colgate.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and sort of sounds like a bell?

Dung.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyCaptain30
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What sort of flowers grow on your face?

Tulips..

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRedneck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What sort of money do need if you want to start your own landscaping business?

A hedge fund.

πŸ‘︎ 248
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TOHSNBN
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2017
🚨︎ report
What sort of nuts get a lot of criticism?

Roasted ones.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you recall that film that was kinda like A Bug's Life and came out at the same sort of time as A Bug's Life but wasn't nearly as good as A Bug's Life?

Well you should, it's Remember Antz Day

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wigglesface
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What sort of shoes do gypsies wear?

Yours

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Vegetables are boring in general, but some are sort of cool.

I guess you could called them rad-ish.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epikshit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
🚨︎ report
On a family holiday to Bruges, we decided to walk to the nearby town of Damme. En route, my Dad said to my sister "your hair looks sort of OK today"

He then explained "to Damme with faint praise"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VWXYNot42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Sort of an edited repost?

Elmer Fudd is sitting around one day and realized he's not all that good at hunting, might as well take up a new hobby. Obviously he turns to magic/slight of hand. After a few months of practicing, his arms are COVERED in chocolate. Bugs comes up and asks him, "Say doc, what's with all the chocolate?" To which Elmer replies, "You know what they say, a good magician ALWAYS has a few Twix up his sweeves."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HIGHxCLASSxHOBO
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I apparently made some sort of sighing noise

My wife asked me, "what is it?"

I said, "it's a third person genderless personal pronoun."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KungFooShus
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I wanted to sketch some sort of ammunition...

But I’m drawing a blank.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jofax88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
In chemistry class, my son was combining acetic acid with some sort of base when he disappeared...

I guess it's true what they say -- he who acetates is lost.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InterwebWeasel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A dad asked his wife what sort of food would be available at the venue the family was visiting.

She said, "Fries and shit."

"So... poo-tine?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P4rtyP3nguin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
A bug light of sorts

http://madeofmistake.com/bug-light

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madeofmistake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What vegetable is sort of awesome?

Rad-ish

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loschju
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2017
🚨︎ report
What sort of organisms do composers hate?

Fungi. Why? Cause they're de-composers.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainySaber
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
🚨︎ report
What sort of pans do Blackstreet use?

Non-stickety.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otistetrax
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Sort of a dad joke.... I guess....

The next time you are cooking breakfast for your family and are making biscuits or pancakes or something requiring flour hold the flour up in your hand and yell I have the flour like he man. Plus points if your family gets the reference.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ADubiousGenius
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw some sort of animal on an island in Alaska.

Turns out it was just an Aleutian.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
🚨︎ report
I haven't shaved in a few weeks, and I've sort of got a beard now. I think it's growing on me.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOffendingHonda
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
🚨︎ report
Sort of SO told me that I should swim unprotected with sharks.

I replied with "Idk, I may end up with an STD...a Sharksually Transmitted Disease."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecody17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2017
🚨︎ report
I bet at an organization class you'd learn all sorts of things.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ericmc80
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Because I go to the gym, I've got all sorts of gains imgur.com/xB8n3yz
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WJohan93
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2014
🚨︎ report
What sort of animal can't get to sleep?

An insomni-yak.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fuzzybo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Every time we pass any sort of animal on road

"Look! That sure is a funny looking deer!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshmanzors
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Intense movies with my dad lead to this sort of thing way too often...

Watching some intense mobster movie with my dad: Two guys come in with shotguns and unload about 10 shots into the don while he's eating really fancy food and drinking wine. Dad looks over. "They'll never get the wine out of that shirt."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perfectionist569
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad joke of sorts from Walt Duncan (Zits)
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecaptain013
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a vegitable thats only *sort-of* rad?

Rad-ish

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xodiach
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
🚨︎ report
What sort of tea do you want to drink today?

'What sort of tea do you want to drink today?'

'No tea for me, thanks dad.'

'Alright. One big cup of No-tea for you son!'

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/McCrBa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
🚨︎ report

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