Only people sorting by new can see this gem. (Evil laugh)
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnsteadyKoala
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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What is the Sorting Hat’s favourite relationship advice?

Slytherin.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FredererPower
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Reddit’s sorting algorithm has a punny sense of humor
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bii345
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Thanks for sorting by new

The guy who came up with MMA must have really gotten a kick out of boxing

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grimereaper_2
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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Doing a little light sorting

60 watt bulbs go heeere...

100 watt bulbs go over heeeeere...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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What sort of Birthday cake do ghost prefer?

I scream Cake

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomguy2322
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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I tried to sort out wtahtoebucrldazy into an actual sentence

Then I realized β€œthat would be crazy!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captbeauner
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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What sort of jewelry does Ronald McDonald wear?

A fast food restaurant chain of course!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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In Illinois, it's illegal to have legal possesion over fecal matter of any sort.

Can't have shit in Detroit.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meini_Studios
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I'm here is Scotland and quarantine has me feeling all out of sorts...

And there is nothing worse for a Scot than being off kilter.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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What sort of music did cave men listen to?

Hard Rock!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naiphe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know...

In Las Vegas there are more Catholic churches than casinos? Not surprisingly, many Sunday worshippers will give casino chips instead of cash when the offering plate is passed around. Since the churches get chips from so many different casinos, they have devised a way to collect the offerings. They send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting, and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in. This is done by the chip monks.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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It's like I'm some sort of Khartoum character.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband the following text...

β€œIf you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!!!” The husband, being a non-romantic sort, replied... β€œI am on the toilet. Please advise.”

πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Bark the car
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ra1ku_77
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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[OC] You're a star... of sorts
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beonebagge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"

Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance

πŸ‘︎ 243
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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What sorts of footwear do bakers wear?

Choux-es and loaf-ers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Chinese are building all sorts of new educational camps with invigorating physical exercise for Uigher citizens.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an ideology.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urlordcov
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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For my next performance I will sort out my checking account while on a high wire

It’s a balancing act

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Who can drink 2 litres of Gasoline?

Jerry can.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxiCato62
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Puns aren’t the aphrodisiac I thought they were.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/laurens_tits
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
If a muffin goes wrong in the worst possible moment...

Is that a Murphyn?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jokterwho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Why can't you hear a psychologist pee?

Because the P is silent...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ncarlton43
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Bill Clinton is banned from all the French bakeries in his neighborhood.

He kept feeling their pain.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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What do you call a drive full of sorted data?

Information in formation

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudeimconfused
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN

They get really upset.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuaggaSwagger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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What sort of animal wears sunglasses?

A solar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The perfect date
πŸ‘︎ 330
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What sort of bees make milk?

Boobies

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueBoy1515
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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The abominable snowman....

The abominable snowman gets called all sorts of names, yeti doesn't seem to mind.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bob9109
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I use to work in a liquorice factory.

It was ALL-SORTS of fun

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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If you felt a mouse, what sort of mouse would it be?

A feeled mouse.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What sort of stereo equipment does Black Panther use?

He's a Bose man.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cpome7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I just had a physical.

The Doctor said "don't eat anything fatty".

I said "you mean avoid burgers and bacon, that sort of thing?"

He said "no Fatty, don't eat anything".

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
There must be a typo in the "sort by" options.

I chose "new" but they're all reposts... should be "knew" instead

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/feckinBANANA
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What sort of corn is sold at student unions?

Uni-corn!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maud_brijeulin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Ron: Harry, come quick! Dumbledore’s been in some sort of accident!

Harry: Oh my god! Was it serious?

Ron: No. it was Snape.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How do flat round throwing objects sort their opinional differences?

A Discussion

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Assfrontation
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.

I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I believe y is up
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punyae3671
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me to sort his hair out for a reggae themed party

I’m dreading it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Apparently you can't use "beefsoup" as a password.

It isn't stroganoff.

πŸ‘︎ 671
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttered_t0asties
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I was very worried when they discovered Covid in ice cream and topping samples in China.

I instantly thought this could affect Hundreds & Thousands...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I just stumbled on this subreddit, and I'd like explain why (from an outsider's perspective) this sort of thing is not my cup of tea.

It's because this is my cup of tea.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aspacecodyssey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
🚨︎ report
For those who sort by new
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Your_Uncle_Gubsy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
hi people who sort by new, how is it there?
πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faelk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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